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Helping someone through a break-up


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Right now I am helping someone try and figure out what to do with their relationship. She, as well as I, have just started our carrers at a major university. Her boyfriend is back home and before she left to come here, they had a problem in their relationship. Since she has come down here she doesn't know how much she can trust her boyfriend with the distance between them and with their previous situation.


I am predicting that they will break-up. Not all because of the distance, but because of the problem they are having. What I want to know is how should I be there for her if she breaks up. She has friends, but from what I understand I am the only one that she can really talk to. If not, I don't think she would have told me about her relationship problems.


Yes I am a male, and no I am not gay. I actually wanted to date this girl, but I found out that she has a boyfriend and so I am repsecting that she has a boyfriend and I am going to wait until either she breaks up and is ready to date again or I will just be her friend for a long long time.


But for now, I just want to know how I should be there for her. I was thinking about being someone that will listen to her, then I realized she may not want to talk. And so I don't know what should be done.

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Mandoro, are you being honest with yourself here?


You have to think of yourself first here. Sure you want to be honorable and listen to a girl that you were interested in dating---but can you do this and tell yourself that you will just be her friend?


I know I could not do it.


She's in limbo...don't join her.

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I do believe I can. Right now, I am just acting as a friend. Something that I have working in my favor is that I am not an emotional person. I have to be able to do that because, even though I don't have a degree to, I have helped people with some problems, haven't done too many relationship problems.


Maybe I am just completely misunderstanding your question, but if it is about me getting involved emotionally, I am 100% sure that I will not get involved. I will be the friend on the side to help her through this if this does occur.

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