Different sex friendships

[Riggz41510]

I have a female friend whom I have been friends with for over 9 years. We have never had a intimate relationship and we have never been attracted to each other.

 

My girlfriend and her are actually friends now also.. But because she is a female my girlfriend gets upset about certain things that I wont do with her but, I will do it with my friend..

 

For example: My girlfriend wants to go to the club with me but, I have had bad experiences with being at the club with my girlfriend.. I went with my friend one night and she blew up.. I'm trying to explain to her that I view her like one of my boys.. Just because she is a girl never matters to me..

 

The dynamics of the relationships are different, just because she is a girl shouldn't matter!!!

[hosswhispra]

How come you're not attracted to the girl you've been friends with for 9 years?

[annie24]

For example: My girlfriend wants to go to the club with me but, I have had bad experiences with being at the club with my girlfriend.. I went with my friend one night and she blew up.. I'm trying to explain to her that I view her like one of my boys.. Just because she is a girl never matters to me..

 

meh.... I don't buy this story either!

 

just because you have had problems going to nightclubs with a previous gf doesn't mean that you would have the same ones if you went with your current gf.

 

how would you feel if your gf would only go to clubs with other guys, but not with you? or if your gf would only take road trips with other guys, but not with you?

[Riggz41510]

How come you're not attracted to the girl you've been friends with for 9 years?

 

We kind of grew up together.. I've known her since we were kids our parents were friends. But we got real close about 9 years ago..

 

She has been there for me through so much.. And I want my girl to view her how she views my male friends..

 

My girl knows its nothing sexual or anything like that.. I think she is kind of jealous of our relationship.. But I made it loud and clear that this was going to be my friend and she was going to be in my life forever before we started our relationship!!

[Riggz41510]

meh.... I don't buy this story either!

 

just because you have had problems going to nightclubs with a previous gf doesn't mean that you would have the same ones if you went with your current gf.

 

how would you feel if your gf would only go to clubs with other guys, but not with you? or if your gf would only take road trips with other guys, but not with you?

 

If it was a guy that I knew she was friends with before me, how could I question it??

 

My point is she doesn't complain when I go with my male friends.. This girl is like one of my male friends except she happens to be female..

 

And as far as the story goes I was shot in the leg behind defending a Ex girlfriend at a club..

[annie24]

ok, that is a bad experience.... but you shouldn't make your current gf pay for what happened with your ex.

 

are you afraid something similar would happen if you went out with your gf to a nightclub?

[hosswhispra]

We kind of grew up together.. I've known her since we were kids our parents were friends. But we got real close about 9 years ago..

 

She has been there for me through so much.. And I want my girl to view her how she views my male friends..

 

My girl knows its nothing sexual or anything like that.. I think she is kind of jealous of our relationship.. But I made it loud and clear that this was going to be my friend and she was going to be in my life forever before we started our relationship!!

 

This girl that your friends with sounds great. What about thinking about her as a romantic prospect. The best romantic prospects are the ones that you've been friends with....and...WOW...9 years is a relatively long time. You kinda know what she's about. That's the girl I would date.

[annie24]

ugg... I don't know... i have had male friends for a long time also - one guy I have been friends with for 12 years. Probably because we DON'T see each other in that way, we are just good friends, and care about each other, but I think we would self-destruct in a relationship. Same with another one of my male friends. we have been friends for 3 years, but I am sure I would rip his head off if he were my boyfriend!

 

so cheddaboy... i believe you when you say you don't have romantic feelings for her... I am just concerned that there are things in your life that you won't do with your current gf.

[renaissancewoman101]

I could understand cheddarboy's defense of his female friend. His gf should understand and I understand how he feels. When I was dating my ex, there was stuff that I would do with my best friend (who was a guy) that my ex didnt do, like go on trips, go out to certain places, etc. Part of it had to do with the fact that my ex was broke and couldnt afford going on trips and also couldnt get the time off.

 

Sometimes, there are things that you cant do with a SO that you can do with a close friend.

[annie24]

I could understand cheddarboy's defense of his female friend. His gf should understand and I understand how he feels. When I was dating my ex, there was stuff that I would do with my best friend (who was a guy) that my ex didnt do, like go on trips, go out to certain places, etc. Part of it had to do with the fact that my ex was broke and couldnt afford going on trips and also couldnt get the time off.

 

Sometimes, there are things that you cant do with a SO that you can do with a close friend.

 

ummm..... but RW.... let's be honest here..... you had feelings for this male friend of yours also.... who happened to be an exbf.

[southerngirl]

I think if your girlfriend wants to go to the club you should go with her. Especially now tht you have gone with a female friend and left her home only to tell her about it afterwords.

[Smile_83]

I personally don't think it's fair that you judge your present girlfriend by the way your ex was. Not all females are the same. Give her a chance to prove you wrong. Maybe after all she is different and that's the way she will build up more trust towards you. That's just my opinion though.

[annie24]

by the way, how do you know you won't get shot in the leg defending your female friend at the clubs either?

[melrich]

She has been there for me through so much.. And I want my girl to view her how she views my male friends..

 

Hellooooooo!!....she's a woman...this may happen in PC utopia but here in the real world...mmm. Do you sleep with males? Is there even the remotest chance that you will?

 

You can't take your g/f to a niteclub because you will probably be shot in the leg again but you can take another woman?

 

How does the shooter know she is not your g/f?...just as an example of how the logic is panning out here.

 

No really, I can well understand why your g/f is upset even though I do believe you when you say this other woman is no more than a friend.

[melrich]

by the way, how do you know you won't get shot in the leg defending your female friend at the clubs either?

 

Exactly. happens all the time.

[annie24]

Exactly. happens all the time.

 

LOL - I didn't know it happened to you also!

[Momene]

LOL - I didn't know it happened to you also!

 

I got shot in my little friend.

[annie24]

if all these men are getting shot at in bars, why not just stop going to clubs and avoiding these hooligans with guns? instead of placing the blame on being with a gf?

[Momene]

I usually get shot when they aim at the girl and miss.