Here we go again

[Azual]

I'm not ready to give up. I want to show her what I can be if she's willing to speak up instead of just running to a "friend" and finding comfort in their arms...

 

Should I just end it or keep trying? Honestly...

[ginger111080]

I'm not ready to give up. I want to show her what I can be if she's willing to speak up instead of just running to a "friend" and finding comfort in their arms...

 

Should I just end it or keep trying? Honestly...

 

 

I got groped in High School once & I kicked the guy so hard in the nuts he had them in his mouth, to me that's any girls natural reaction. In my eyes your gf enjoys the attention from other guys in particular this guy. If she loved you 100% she would never speak to this guy again & be totally disgusted by him! - She likes this guy...she enjoyes what he does....she's being mean telling you about it, she's trying to get you jealous & mad....some gf's/girls enjoy seeing this, it shows them how much you would do for them & then they walk all over you.....she's starting to walk all over you. Get out before she sucks you in even further.....

 

But I know how difficult it is to walk away when your not ready to give up, the thing is you'll keep pushing yourself in this relationship till it destroy's you as a person & you become to really hate her.....the day you wake up & hate her, that's the day it's over.....unless you have enough will power & strength to end it before then.

 

You don't want to show this guy how much it's bothering you either cause that's what he's waiting for (your reaction) you hit him (boy I know you wanna) but he's gonna play on it so much your gonna look like the bad one, even in your gf's eye's....walk away, with your head high man, this chick's pushing you to the limit.....find another gf who treats you with respect!...there is plenty out there you know!

[Iceman26]

You're more than likely right... but I guess it's just my nature to keep trying until there really is no point...

 

If you know this about yourself, start taking steps to improve it by training yourself to leave these relationships before you fall into despair and indecisiveness.

[Azual]

Thank you all for your input. I see what you're all saying, I really do...

But hopefully, if I change and show her what I can be... she'll change back to who she was (When she wouldn't put up with this crap for this long)...

If not... well then... I'll always love her, but it will prove to me that it's not meant to happen.

I take all of your advice to heart, and I really thought about a lot of it today... that's why I'm going to change, let her see what I can be and hopefully get her to change as well.

I love all of you

[Azual]

Okay... before I just crumble and give in... I've talked to a lot of people... they all agree (and all of you do as well)... That I should just drop it and walk away.

 

Honest opinion - Am I being stupid for trying to salvage this? Because according to a friend, she thinks that the harder I try to be what my girl wants... the faster it falls...

[Rabican]

She has a right to do what she wants and talk to who she wants. It's obvious by now she's not going to stop talking to this guy. And as much as I think she's being disrespectful, you also can't force her to do something.

 

.

 

Right, his woman can be friends with whomever she chooses. But as the boyfriend/ husband/ fiance he has the right to decide whom hes with. Its not too far fetched to ask to be with someone who doesnt have friends that try to grope them, and totally disrespect you, your partner, and your relationship. I agree with Az, its totally disrespectful for her to maintain friendship with this guy when hes shown that he isnt her 'friend' at all.

[Azual]

She has a right to do what she wants and talk to who she wants. It's obvious by now she's not going to stop talking to this guy. And as much as I think she's being disrespectful, you also can't force her to do something.

 

Right, his woman can be friends with whomever she chooses. But as the boyfriend/ husband/ fiance he has the right to decide whom hes with. Its not too far fetched to ask to be with someone who doesnt have friends that try to grope them, and totally disrespect you, your partner, and your relationship. I agree with Az, its totally disrespectful for her to maintain friendship with this guy when hes shown that he isnt her 'friend' at all.

 

So what do you think I should do??

[Iceman26]

People are telling you what they are telling you because they care about you. At the end of the day though, it is really all on you.

 

I was once the same way you are, always second guessing myself, wondering if I was right or I was wrong, never leaving the relationship until it was too late, and then being bitter with myself later for not leaving when I knew I should have, wasting time on women that weren't worth it.

 

Azual, there is a pretty simple answer. I'll help you get to it by asking this question: Do you like being treated like crap?

[Azual]

Nah, I hate it... I was treated like * * * * my whole childhood (abuse and didn't have many friends)...

 

Today though, I sat her down and really had a conversation with her and told her how I felt about everything... she really listened in this time. At the end of that, I asked her if I really truly made her happy, she said most of the time. I asked her if she was happy with who I was going to be due to these changes she's asking me to make, she said yes.

 

Everything is moving smoother, and I can breath easier, I know the choice is up to me. And I learned today that this "friend" is being moved out of her class because we have a new teacher and they needed students, he was selected.

 

Thank you all for listening and giving me your thoughts and input. Much love.

[Rabican]

So what do you think I should do??

 

having been down the road of a girlfriend (then fiance) having shady guy friends... I wont do it again. If she cant respect my feelings on a logical position such as not having friends that want in her pands... Id rather be alone.

I love my girl, but I love me too. And I wont go down worry street and start taking a bunch of wrong turns onto mistrust ave, and lack of respect blvd... never again. Id rather be alone than with someone who wants another guys 'attention' in spite of my feelings.

 

Im not saying your girl shouldnt have friends... they should. But when that friend crosses a certain line, it should come to an end.

[Iceman26]

having been down the road of a girlfriend (then fiance) having shady guy friends... I wont do it again. If she cant respect my feelings on a logical position such as not having friends that want in her pands... Id rather be alone.

I love my girl, but I love me too. And I wont go down worry street and start taking a bunch of wrong turns onto mistrust ave, and lack of respect blvd... never again. Id rather be alone than with someone who wants another guys 'attention' in spite of my feelings.

 

 

I am right there with you Rabican. I went through the same things, until at one point I said enough is enough. I wouldn't put myself through those situations ever again.

[Azual]

I guess I'm just being suckered in and the wool is being pulled farther and farther over my eyes... but I can't let go.

 

I go into court today (stupid things I've done) and this morning I looked her in the eyes and asked her if she'd be there for me, because I knew I wasn't going to be able to stand on my own for a few days... She gave me a kiss and said yes, she'd love me through thick and thin.

 

Man she seems so perfect, and I just don't know how to react now that she's said that, ya know?

[Iceman26]

Man she seems so perfect, and I just don't know how to react now that she's said that, ya know?

 

Look at the actions and not the words.

[Azual]

Yeah... good point Iceman. I'm gonna hang on for a little while, as I become more independent of her so that if it does end it won't completely kill me...

Thanks for the advice.

[Azual]

The girlfriend wants to go - I'm completely okay with it - But according to her, it's just a place that everyone there has sex at. I'm not saying she'd cheat on me, and I don't think she would ever do that... but just a little concerned since close to 5 friends confirmed that all people do there is have sex really.

Just lookin for confirmation from anyone else lol.

[Iceman26]

The girlfriend wants to go - I'm completely okay with it - But according to her, it's just a place that everyone there has sex at.

 

You have got to be kidding me. Well isn't that a pleasant picture for you to have in your mind before she goes away.

 

Honestly my friend, you can sit there and put up with this crap and this immature behavior, or you can continue to beat this dead horse of a relationship until there is nothing left.

 

If I was still in the dating game and a girl told me that, I'd be jumping out of that relationship faster than Spring Heeled Jim.

[Azual]

Do you really think I should be untrusting with her if she says that? Like she constantly makes jokes like this...

*A phone convo between me and her*

Her: I really want to go to band camp.

Me: Well if that is what you want and it makes you happy, okay. But didn't you say everyone there just gets laid? (Put emphasis on everyone)

Her: Yeah, but you have to trust me not to do that.

Me: I trust you not to hurt me or yourself like that.

Her: Are you sure?

Me: Yeah...

Her: Okay. Hey what time is it because at 4:05 I have to call Alex and get a ride to Mike's to work on our float. (Homecoming float, sophomore class, I could have worked on it because I have the credits of a sophomore but no one told me when the meeting was.)

Me: It's 4:00 right now, I'll tell you when it's 4:05. (Some random talk and a friend came to the door and I talked to him while she was on speaker phone and she yelled at him for interrupting us. 4:05 rolls around).

Me: Hun, it's 4:05.

Her: Okay I'm gonna call Alexandra then.

Me: Have fun working on the float.

Her: Yeah, great fun. Get to go with everyone to Mike's house and learn to dance. (Note that I've been told that everyone there is female and it's just Mike as the only guy - Possible importance but I dunno.) *In a joking voice* Oh and Mike is the guy I want to bone.

 

Sorry to put you through that but that was the band camp/float convo we had yesterday. I hella played it off like her comments didn't hurt... but on top of court... that cut deep. I literally almost took a knife to myself but I figured it wasn't worth it, the pain would go away eventually. All my friends and all of you think I should drop her, but I just can't find the strength to do it.

I love her completely but one of my friends tells me she's blind to what she has because I give her everything and she really doesn't show that she cares.

 

I'm so lost. I forgive her for the comment because I know people there who would have let me know if anything happened, which I knew nothing would, but yeah. She just jokes around like that, and when I do it, she gets mad...

[Iceman26]

If she considers your relationship as being serious, she shouldn't willingly put herself in compromising situations like that, much less joke around about it.

 

It sounds like you may love the idea of being in love (as most of us do), but are not necessarily "in love". If you really think about what you want for yourself as far as a partner goes, she doubtfully will fit the description.....unless you are a masochist that is.

[melrich]

Seriously. These kids are 16 years old. She can't go to band camp because it might disrespect her b/f!

 

Mate you are elevating this relationship way beyond what it is and you continue to do it. Once again you need to seriously chill out a bit.

[Iceman26]

Seriously. These kids are 16 years old. She can't go to band camp because it might disrespect her b/f!

 

I am not sure if you are referring to what I said or not, but I never said she couldn't go to band camp. What I am saying is that if she's telling her boyfriend its more of an orgy than a band camp, why would he want to be in a relationship with someone that plays those games?

 

I had missed the part about their ages. This is sounding very American Pieish.

[melrich]

This is sounding very American Pieish

 

Exactly. What are we believing here, that band camp is one 24 hour orgy. 16 years olds go out and have fun, they have to experience stuff. You don't want to be answerable to your parents AND a boyfriend.

 

Her: I really want to go to band camp.

Me: Well if that is what you want and it makes you happy, okay. But didn't you say everyone there just gets laid? (Put emphasis on everyone)

Her: Yeah, but you have to trust me not to do that.

Me: I trust you not to hurt me or yourself like that.

Her: Are you sure?

Me: Yeah...

Her: Okay. Hey what time is it because at 4:05 I have to call Alex and get a ride to Mike's to work on our float. (Homecoming float, sophomore class, I could have worked on it because I have the credits of a sophomore but no one told me when the meeting was.)

Me: It's 4:00 right now, I'll tell you when it's 4:05. (Some random talk and a friend came to the door and I talked to him while she was on speaker phone and she yelled at him for interrupting us. 4:05 rolls around).

Me: Hun, it's 4:05.

Her: Okay I'm gonna call Alexandra then.

Me: Have fun working on the float.

Her: Yeah, great fun. Get to go with everyone to Mike's house and learn to dance. (Note that I've been told that everyone there is female and it's just Mike as the only guy - Possible importance but I dunno.) *In a joking voice* Oh and Mike is the guy I want to bone.

 

There is nothing wrong with this conversation. It is exactly what you'd expect from a 16 year old girl. She's making conversation and a joke, she doesn't realise it's being taken literally.

[Iceman26]

Completely agree with you Melrich.

[annie24]

You have got to be kidding me. Well isn't that a pleasant picture for you to have in your mind before she goes away.

 

Honestly my friend, you can sit there and put up with this crap and this immature behavior, or you can continue to beat this dead horse of a relationship until there is nothing left.

 

If I was still in the dating game and a girl told me that, I'd be jumping out of that relationship faster than Spring Heeled Jim.

 

I AGREE!!!

 

If a guy said that to me.... oh, I want to go to xxxx and that's where everyone has sex.... I'd be so out the door!!!!!

 

now, it would be another thing if she said, "I want to go to band camp because I am very dedicated to playing my music and I want to be the best clarinet player I can be!"

 

but.... geez! she's telling you that's where everyone goes to have sex, but you need to trust her!

 

No, you need to show her where the door is!

[annie24]

Seriously. These kids are 16 years old. She can't go to band camp because it might disrespect her b/f!

 

Mate you are elevating this relationship way beyond what it is and you continue to do it. Once again you need to seriously chill out a bit.

 

excellent point!!!

 

yeah, on second thought, she should absolutely go to band camp and have fun. and you should maybe find a girlfriend you are better compatible with. you shouldn't spend your time figuring out how to reign someone in or keep them away from "seedy" situations. you have to live while you are a teen!!!

[Azual]

I'm just going to break it off.

Everything, all the advice you have all given, my friends have all given.

Turns out that she was happy I didn't go to the football game at school tonight, and she was going to end it with me anyway.

I worked my * * * off to make her happy, and I don't feel bad at all. There are always others that will suit my desires better.

Thanks everyone.