Is he still not over his ex girlfriend?

[justme009]

My boyfriend is naturally very private and secretive. If he is writing an e-mail or talking on MSN to his friends (his computer is right beside mine), and I walk over, he'll quickly minimize the window - even though I know he's talking about nothing, and just to a guy friend or something.

 

Anyway, a while ago after he went out for a bit, I went on his computer and found in his pictures folder that he had a nude video of his ex-girlfriend. It was a digital camera movie of her walking around her apartment naked back when they were going out. It wasn't at all sexual, but it still puzzles me if it's okay for him to have video like that of an ex-girlfriend.

 

Also, and I may be totally petty here, but he has a photo site up on the internet of all these photos he's taken over the past 5 or 6 years. And back when he was dating her, he took all these photos of her, and they're plastered all over that section of his page. But he's never taken a single picture of me before. It makes me jealous. I think it's silly to be jealous, and I try so hard not to feel that way, but I just can't help it.

 

Am I just feeling what any normal girlfriend feels towards a boyfriend's ex? Or am I being way too petty about things ... ?

[natalie121687]

I think its normal to feel this way. I feel it all the time towards my boyfriends ex. She and him are still best friend and I think about how they used to go up in the mountains and have snowball fights, or to the beach.....and it hurts to know he had all that fun with her but never takes me out anywhere and I feel like he still likes her at times or he just liked her more than he will ever like me. But then I realize I'm with him and she isn't and if he really did like her more he'd be with her instead. If you are really worried he might still have a thing for her, maybe you can casually bring up her name in a conversation and look at his facial expressions for clues to what he really feels about her still.

[Jennster]

I get this way too sometimes. My BF still has pictures of his ex on his computer in a separate folder...nothing sexual or anything. But there was a time I'd get supremely jealous of her and all of the memories he had with her and such. He knows how I feel and it makes me feel better knowing he's with me and not her for a reason. I think it's normal to feel this way and I don't think you're being petty at all. Unless your BF acts on anything you shouldn't be worrying

[justme009]

it hurts to know he had all that fun with her but never takes me out anywhere and I feel like he still likes her at times or he just liked her more than he will ever like me. But then I realize I'm with him and she isn't and if he really did like her more he'd be with her instead.

 

Yeah, that's exactly how I feel. They went on trips together, he taught her how to fish and they went canoeing ... I see these pictures, and I get mad because he doesn't do those things with me.

 

I think part of the problem is that I know he would never get back together with her, but maybe he wishes he was with her instead of me. And to find that out ... that would almost hurt more than finding out he was leaving me to go back to her.

 

I asked him about it a while ago - why he had so many pics of her, and none of me, etc ... and I asked if he still loved her. He said that he didn't love her and that he loved me, but he didn't look at me when he said it, so it wasn't very convincing.

 

Ahh! I hate being such a girl sometimes and over-analyzing everything to death.

[natalie121687]

Yeah it really sucks, and how most guys are so like "eh whatever" about our ex's. Or how they just never show any signs of jealousy, even though secretly you wished they did (well thats how i feel sometimes) But then again, there are those guys out there that are OVER jealous. Maybe there just isn't in between. Either they are the jealous type or they aren't. And maybe us girls who have boyfriends with ex's that are still in their lives are just going to always be jealous of them and that's just the way it goes......I try not to stress out about it too much but it gets annoying how she is just ALWAYS at his house...........ughhh

[justme009]

I KNOW!! Last week I went out for drinks with an ex-boyfriend and told my man that I wouldn't be late - well I ended up not coming home until pretty late at night, and he didn't say a single thing! Arghh! I didn't do it on purpose or to make him jealous, but it would have been nice to see a little spark of jealousy out of him.

 

I think you're right about girls always being jealous of a boyfriend's ex ... but for you to know that he actually spends time and is his best friend! Wow, you must be strong as all hell. As much as I'd like to say that I'd be okay with that, I don't know if I'd be able to handle something like that. The jealousy would drive me crazy. I definitely admire you for that!

[natalie121687]

haha well thanks, but i do get pretty pissed at him a lot for it but i think we have all kinda just learned to be friends with eachother and besides she has a boyfriend who is my bf's friend also. it just pisses me off when my bf TELLS her that I dont like her and that im jealous of her and stuff, cuz that only makes it awkward when i see her ya know? lol but yeah i guess i just learned to live with it.......

[candy604]

oh if i found a video of an ex i'd be hoping mad at it. your not over reacting. stick some pics of your ex bf on your computer

[eleanorrigby1]

I went to a party at weekend, was meeting my boyfriend (over a year)'s extended family. Every now and again people would come over and his mum would say "have you met eleanor? our paul's girlfriend?" and they would say "yes!! we have met at your house!" and I would be thinking "no we havent? have we?" anyway after an hour I finally realised they were confusing me with his EX!

 

I flippped out because I am extremely jealous of her and the fact he loved her so much and I have seen pictures of her on his computer too, pained me to see them, she was ugly, the only thing we had in common was dark hair! it p*ssed me off i was aggresive about it and he said "what annoys you more, getting confused for a girl i went out wit or getting confused with HER because you thiink she is sooooo ugly!!" I said "I look nothing like her!!" and I was sulking, but it hurt.

 

its a battle for me sometimes to remember its in the past and he loves me.

 

Nice to know Im not alone in this though..