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New gf, but want ex back


kuys
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I have a problem, I just got a new gf 2 months ago (but we knew each other for 5), but ultimately realized that I'm still in love with my ex. I broke contact just to say whats up, eventually it lead me to want to meet and catch up, she agreed which was unexpected.

 

I have been contemplating breaking up with my girl before contacting ex, I still haven't ended things, she already dropped the L word, I still havent reciprocated and don't think I ever will. I'm gonna have a meeting with the ex next week, should I mention that I'm currently in a relationship, even though I am going to probably end things pretty soon anyway?

 

 

please don't judge me because I have a gf and am going to meet with my ex, I am not gonna tell my gf. I thought I'd give the relationship a shot, but I don't think she's the one for me anymore. Even if I dont get back with my ex, I probably will end things with my current gf, I just don't want to hurt her.

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Honesty is the best policy. You have a responsibility to be honest to your ex and your new girlfriend. Especially if she is expressing strong feelings for you.

 

Please do not be selfish and hold onto your new girlfriend "just in case" things don't work out with the ex. If you have feelings for your ex- sort those feelings out and then become involved with someone else.

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I echo these thoughts. Don't string somoene along merely because you are afraid to end a relationship. Deal with the issues separately.

 

1. Break up with your current girlfriend because you don't see it going anywhere.

 

2. Deal with your feelings for your ex-gf.

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I want to make it clear that I am not judging you. All I can tell you is that I have been the "new girlfriend". My ex lied to me about his ex girlfriend and his feelings for her. He took me away for my birthday and broke the news that he had been speaking to her agian during dinner on my birthday. Yes I was hurt and upset. Later I found out he was making plans to see her and he started distancing himself from me. I wish he would have broken up with me. Even though we ended up breaking up before he left town to visit her it still hurt that he wasn't honest and "snuck around" to speak to her. I loved him and still do. If she has such strong feelings, yet you still care for your ex, you should end things with her. You don't neccessarily have to tell her that its because of your ex but tell her that things are not working out and leave it at that somehow. I wouldn't lie but I would be careful. She will hurt but she may feel as if you are throwing it in her face if you tell her it's because you want your ex back. Just be thoughtful of her feelings. You don't have to love her but you should treat her with kindness and respect. She has feelings just like you, imagine being in her shoes. Hope all works out.

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this is good advice, but if I just say it's not working out, I would think there has to be a reason why I don't feel the same. That reason is that I still have feelings for the ex, and I do not want to say that to her because that will be spiteful. This will come as a total shock to her, but I'm gonna have to just tell her I don't see myself feeling the same way I guess and do not want to string her along any further...

 

I hope she understands

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Hi Kuys

 

 

I really think that if you want another chance with your ex, you should definitely end things with your current girlfriend.

 

I say this because if my ex wanted me back and wanted to try again, but yet was still with someone else. I as the ex girlfriend would not trust you or believe you are serious about wanting me back.

 

By you being with someone while wanting to try again with the ex tells the ex that you could easliy hurt her again.

 

I know you don't want to hurt your current girlfriend but by just keeping her for that reason is not any better. You are just prolonging the situation. If you don't feel that things with your current girlfriend will work & you don't have feelings for her then I think just be honest.

 

Once you have ended things with your current girlfriend then take some time & work on working things out with your ex but just keep in mind that it's always tougher the second time round & if your ex was hurt by you she won't want to be hurt again.

 

 

LostAngel

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this is good advice, but if I just say it's not working out, I would think there has to be a reason why I don't feel the same. That reason is that I still have feelings for the ex, and I do not want to say that to her because that will be spiteful. This will come as a total shock to her, but I'm gonna have to just tell her I don't see myself feeling the same way I guess and do not want to string her along any further...

 

I hope she understands

 

 

You don't have to tell her it's because the "ex" is somewhat back in the picture. Can't you somehow just tell her that "you're just not feeling it?"

 

I'd say if she thinks or knows it's because the ex is in the picture, it could lead to her feeling not only rejection but also insecurity.

 

Let her down easy. Somehow. And, Soon.

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