Wow... I'm really lost.

[Azual]

Alright, so I am completely lost.

 

Been dating a girl for 4.5 months, and it hasn't really worked out how I wanted it to... and it's just some other stuff has happened... so I called it off.

 

Since I called it off, my feelings for a friend who lives in Saint Louis have come forth, only problem is... I'm in California. However when I talk to her, phone or AIM, she has a way of making me feel better... like tonight when I was really down about what I did she told me...

 

tommyyyyy... im happy for you (Her exact sentance to me, copied and pasted)

 

And so I was really wondering if it was gonna work... when out of the blue, in what I thought was a joke, another friend (She has 2 daughters and a boyfriend so not that kind of friend, wouldn't try and get with her) told me that if I really hated the place I'm living in, she'd gladly adopt me. We both play the same things and like that same stuff, and since I'm starting to hit independancy, I wouldn't be that hard to take care of.

 

So I'm confused because I really want to get away from here, away from my parents, away from all the hurt and confusion this place has caused me.

 

But I still have friends here, and people I care about greatly. My heart says go to StL if I can, and my mind agrees. Yet I can't help but feel like maybe I'd be messing up...

[Azual]

What should I do - Everythign I've ever done is here at home, but I'm not happy and tired of all the pressures and crap...

 

Saint Louis would be giving me a chance to start fresh and be happier... So right now it seems like the logical choice, but I could be wrong...

[sumguy]

From what you've said it sounds like you've already decided, you're just looking for validation of that decision so you can accept it. You want to go to Saint Louis, you know you can get to Saint Louis, and it sounds like a good opportunity.

[Azual]

Well like, I was talkin my friend that I like in StL (We'll call her Kelly)... Well she's very modest and told me that if I did move to StL I prolly wouldn't be happy with her, but that's not the only reason I'm moving, and there's only one way to find out, right?

I really do want to go to StL, I can't stand this place - Guess I am just lookin for comfirmation that maybe I'm not screwing up. lol...

But I was talkin to Kelly on the phone last night, and I asked her how happy she thinks she could be with me if I moved to StL - She said Very happy, that I had no idea. My whole stomach had butterflies (And it's been a long while since I have had that feeling) and I was just happy.

[n83]

I don't mean to burst your bubble, honestly I don't, but I'm not sure that' s a good idea. If you're not moving there to be with her, then why are you? What if it doesn't work out with her? Would you live with her, or somewhere else? What if she wants to leave the area?

 

Well she's very modest and told me that if I did move to StL I prolly wouldn't be happy with her

 

that's not modesty, that's honesty... you're not looking into that statement as much as you should. She is trying to tell you something there.

[Azual]

Well, I wouldn't be moving in with her. I have some other friends who told me that I could live with them because of the issues I'm having with family. My friend is just a factor. And if it doesn't work between me and her? Then I'll still have her nearby as a friend and a supporter.

 

And I know you're not trying to burst any bubbles here - you're being honest. As for her honesty, I'd rather give it a shot.

 

Her actual sentance was "hunny... im not worth it... if you knew me in person youd find out that im a drama queen/emotional wreck"

 

But I don't think I would be unhappy. I'd be near friends, starting new, and be near a friend who cares about me a lot....