Relationships: why are they so important?

[jmantra]

I used to be a sucker for Romance, I'd get seriousily involved with a girl, she would dump me I would get hurt pretty bad. Since my last breakup I have been single. For a while I was worried I would never find anyone, but lately I am starting to find I am perfectly content on being single. I mean sure I'd love a relationship all the affection and intimacy, but i feel now i can easily live without it.

 

Relationships just don't have the same appeal as they used to. But I am wondering why do people (especially young people) place so much emphasis on sex and relationships? Isn't their other things they can do with their life that bring them joy? I don't understand why society thinks it;s a bad thing to be single for life, as if you're defective. God people are so closed minded, have they ever considered that they are voluntarily single and are secure enough in themselves not to need a relationship to be happy?

 

Is it biological progamming, the media, or combination. It seems humans like adrenaline thats why so many people like action movies, romances, and soap operas. While relationships can be fullfilling, the initial infatuation and the drama that can sometimes be associated with it seems quite addictive. This could explain why alot of women end up in abusive relationships?

 

So someone help me understand why do relationships seem to take higher precedent then being secure and happy and generally loving of yourself?

[annie24]

hi - I agree with your post! I don't know - there is a lot of pressure to get in a relationhip, get a career, get married, buy a house, have children... it's like some checklist everyone is "supposed" to go through, otherwise they are abnormal.

 

The book "The Art of happiness" by the Dalai Lama has a discussion on this topic. yeah, I do agree, it is rather unwise to place the romantic relationship at the pinnacle of everything, and to say that you are not whole unless you are part of a couple.

 

don't worry about what everyone else wants you to do. just go, be happy, do your own thing. and if you happen to come accross a girl you really like, well... that's all the better!

[jmantra]

it's like some checklist everyone is "supposed" to go through, otherwise they are abnormal.

 

What is normality anyways? why is it so important? Many people who have changed and/or influenced the world were/are from Normal such as Albert Einstein, Bill Gates and Steven Spielberg.

 

I think people want everyone to be normal so they can feel better about themselves. It makes people uncomfortable to see anyone acting or doing anything different. Too many people succumb to the primitive pack mentality. This has to stop, if everyone would just accept others as they are their would be less wars, and less drama.

[verve76]

This is my take on why relationships seems so important.

 

Well, it is true that we can be happy alone. We do what we like at our own time and pace.

 

But there's a saying that no man's an island.

 

The food we eat seems to be tastier when sharing it with someone. The places we go to seems more interesting when sharing the experience and seeing it through another person's perpective.

 

I think, being human, we want to just wanna share our experiences whether is it the ups or the downs.

[yeawutever]

Because we're not isolated lifeless materials, we're not rocks, nor papers to be left alone forever. We're rational animals that need levels of communication and affection.

[LoveMatters]

I think people need someone to share something with, even joy, sorrow, excitement, etc. Did you every feel like when you're so happy or excited about something, you want to tell that to the persou you love or like so they can enjoy that with you? I think though we should never lower ourselves to be in the abusive relationship. It's not constructive, it's destructive. It's very nice that you can be happy with yourself. I think everybody need to love themselves before they can love someone else.

[annie24]

This is my take on why relationships seems so important.

 

Well, it is true that we can be happy alone. We do what we like at our own time and pace.

 

But there's a saying that no man's an island.

 

The food we eat seems to be tastier when sharing it with someone. The places we go to seems more interesting when sharing the experience and seeing it through another person's perpective.

 

I think, being human, we want to just wanna share our experiences whether is it the ups or the downs.

 

yes, I agree. but those other people don't always have to be boyfriends/girlfriends/spouses. you can enjoy life with your friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, etc. there are many other kinds of important relationships besides the romantic.

[Azual]

To the OP - I agree, solitary time is a wonderful thing. I hate society and the way most men look at women, it disgusts me. So a lot of the time I hide from the world. However!

A relationship at my age (15) in High School is important. They teach us to be strong about dealing with these things, and I know a few people who have possibly met their soul mates - As I hope I have found mine (To those of you who followed my story a while back, everything is awesome! Thnx to the wonderful people who frequent Enotalone!). A relationship is a delicate thing, and has to be handled as such.

 

I believe a relationship helps teach maturity, respect, and responsibility. If you can juggle all the work, combined with other stresses and lead a good relationship with your GF/BF... you're doing quite well. A relationship keeps you from utter despair.

[tylercdurden2004]

For a while I was worried I would never find anyone, but lately I am starting to find I am perfectly content on being single. I mean sure I'd love a relationship all the affection and intimacy, but i feel now i can easily live without it.

 

 

You should be scared. Very very scared!!!! Shes just around the corner.

 

Its at this point in your life when Ms./Mr. Right comes along. Being in a heathy long lasting relationship is as much about being happy with yourself as it is finding the "Right One."

 

 

Thats why it happens when you least expected. You can see people who NEED to be in a realtionship constantly. They bounce from one to the other. For myself I wouldnt date a girl who hasnt spent time single to figure out what she wants.

[tiger_lily57]

I have no family and I have only one friend and we lost contact since I started this job almost a year ago. I hate my life, I am alone for going on eight years, but I like who I am,

I like the person that I am.

 

Who am I? I am just a whisper of a shadow.

 

 

Who am I? I am just a whisper of a shadow.

Who would you like me to be?

Tell me your song and I will carry your tune.

 

Who am I? I am just a whisper of a shadow.

Who would you like me to be?

Tell me your words and I will be your story.

 

Who am I? I am just a whisper of a shadow.

Who would you like me to be?

Reveal your heart to me and I will be your friend for all eternity.

 

By tiger_lily57 8/16/06

[jmantra]

Because we're not isolated lifeless materials, we're not rocks, nor papers to be left alone forever. We're rational animals that need levels of communication and affection.

 

 

If this so then explain why their are people out there perfectly happy being single? Why do you have this consstant need for a relationship?

 

It sounds to me based on your post you want to be in a relationship for wrong reasons, relationships are based sharing, caring, mutual understanding, and love. You say humans "need levels of communication and affection" the fact that you are saying that translates to:

"I need a relationship for my own validation"

[Azual]

Jman, I agree, solitude is a wonderful thing. But even I, who hate humans in general, need a relationship, not to validate myself, but to show the world that I'm not completely heartless. The world needs validation from me. Thinking like this helps me get through my day.

[yeawutever]

If this so then explain why their are people out there perfectly happy being single? Why do you have this consstant need for a relationship?

 

It sounds to me based on your post you want to be in a relationship for wrong reasons, relationships are based sharing, caring, mutual understanding, and love. You say humans "need levels of communication and affection" the fact that you are saying that translates to:

"I need a relationship for my own validation"

 

jman623 I didn't say it was an obligation to be in a relation, if you don't want to, then it's your choice, no one really forces you to. But see at some point, one seems to want to have this person that can have lots of things in common with them and one of the poster say it "No one really is an island".

 

It's like at the same time, you're doing other things, you're a bit more motivated and get more energy. Yes relations are focused on loiving and caring that person, but it always starts out with communication, we are social animals you know, then affection does also takes place.

 

You show likes/love by communicating and showing affection too, you know.

 

Oh and by the way, for me it's been 10 days now. Though I'm not in love, I don't love him, I do like hanging out with him, we do have a great time. At least there is attractive and I kinda have a crush on him.

 

 

[Baby Carrot]

We get easily addicted to the rush of adrenaline of being in love, or something like that.

 

In order to get that great feeling in certain moments, we basically take tons of drama and crap. Gosh, is like drug I think. Yes, the initial infatuation is quite addictive. And is not easy to get out of it. So we get more and more stucked in the relationship, even if it means 25% of good moments and 75% of a lousy time and conflicts. We put our tushies on the line for that 25% without hesitating.

 

It is indeed great when you find someone you have amazing chemistry with. But at the same time it can be SUCH A HASSLE and such a waste of energy and time.

 

Plus, society basically acts like ur a loser and a reject if u don't go thru life holding hands with someone. Like there must be something wrong with you, if ur not able to be in a relationship.

 

We also tend to think there must be someone there in your life to validate the fact that you're a good worthy person. Someone must be there to appreciate it, or else, ur not that good or worthy.

 

No matter how great you feel being single, there's always gonna be someone there to tell you it can't be right and that ur not supposed to be happy like that, because is necessary to be in a relationship to feel that good. Which is exactly the domineering attitude I talk about in another post,

[Beyondthesea]

Relationships just don't have the same appeal as they used to

 

Ah, the right girl is on the way friend! The very moment you say, "I am happy on my own" BOOM! the one jumps in

 

wait and see, it's rather ironic!

 

Good luck with things

[Momene]

I definitely think it's related to the breeding urge, even amongst those who say they don't want children. Now my biological clock has not only stopped but rusted, I wouldn't consider having another relationship if I was on my own again.