Drugs and my relationship

[Salty]

My Boyfriend and I both do drugs , We agreed we had to quit so we can have a happy future. I am doing very well but he on the other hand admits to being addicted to ectasy and can't stop drinking. When we first started going out is when I began doing drugs. I stopped after realizing the mood swings drugs gave me. My boyfriend was doing coke a lot after he got his job and had money and a friend of his and mine told me about how he would choke up blood , so as a concerned girlfriend i told him he HAD to quit or its over. He agreed to quit and all was well at this time I was using e and he was as well i decided i wanted to quit and he should to because he started doing it heavily. So we both decided to quit together. I was doing ok I slipped up every now and then but he was flipping pills like crazy ...He told me he would stop all drugs after he got to try acid. I didnt't want him to do acid at all after seeing what it did to a friend of mine , I told him no It's the acid or me . He got mad telling me i'm crazy and controlling and that I tried it twice even though I was supposed to do it once. I then argued back I made a mistake and I don't want you doing the same thiing. He then said well this is the last drug I want to do then i'm done even though he said that about coke and meth!!! His friends are telling me I'm crazy and controlling when all I want to do is protect him. Am I wrong in telling him he is not allowed to do acid or any drugs even though i had and am trying to quit and slip up once in a blue moon or should he be allowed to throw my mistakes in my face and continue to use until I don't lay a finger on a drug again? Am I actually controlling and crazy?

[southerngirl]

YOu need to end the relationship.

 

Move on with your life.

 

Get off the drugs..

 

Let him sink or swim on his own.

 

The kind of drugs you are doing... can take you to a few places

 

-LIfetime of hard times....becoming a disgrace to yourself.

-Lifetime of ins and outs with the law and JAIL TIME.

-Death

 

that is the facts. Do you live with him? Leave!

 

 

Do you have children? HOw old are you? This may seem harsh to you but it is that serious. YOu are talking about your life and future here.

[melrich]

I don't think in this case what you are doing is controlling and crazy. Personally I think the best thing you could do is get out of this scene and that probably means ditching the boyfriend.

 

But if you think there is still hope for him I would definitely be giving him the ultimatum "the drugs or me".

[miserableme]

A similar thing happened to me with my ex. I constantly gave him the ultimatum- the drugs or me. He kept saying me but then kept doing the drugs, and I kept going back to him. In the end, he broke my heart. He said I was too controlling.

 

If the drugs truly bother you, then do both of you a favour and end it. Drugs are very powerful. Now that's it's over between me and my ex. I've never been happier.

[Salty]

I am 17 I have no children I am trying to make my life better I pull great grades in school My teachers don't know about my life behind the scene I just don't want this anymore but I love him!

[PRSOV]

Drugs are addictive, in the end he will always go back to the drugs because it is a mental thing... he cannot stop himself from doing it by himself alone. He needs proper help, these are not soft drugs you are dealing with. The best thing you can do is try and get him some help.

 

You must leave this relationship now because it will only go downhill from here with the use of drugs. I strongly believe that a drug addict could not keep to an ultimatum between a woman or drugs. Drugs will always win without help.

 

Good luck.

[miserableme]

You really should start thinking about youself. You will be so much better off without him. I'm sure you will find a new boyfriend. I'd hate for you to get hurt through something that's not your fault. I also wish I had listened to the advice people gave me when I was in that situation.

 

In the end, it's up to you. If you stay with him and get hurt, then you will learn.

[melrich]

I am 17 I have no children I am trying to make my life better I pull great grades in school My teachers don't know about my life behind the scene I just don't want this anymore but I love him!

 

You are way too young to potentially ruin your life for love. I get how hard this is for you but you have to recognise that you are playing with way more than just teenage romance here.

[PRSOV]

This guy obviously needs help why is everybody just voting to ditch him?

 

By that I mean get him into proffessional help, not continue the relationship...

[miserableme]

This guy obviously needs help why is everybody just voting to ditch him?

 

By that I mean get him into proffessional help, not continue the relationship...

 

That's something that has to be voluntary by him. She can't drag him to rehab.

[southerngirl]

Do not ruin your life for this guy. The drugs you are messing with are hard core stuff.

 

At 17 you live with your parents? You dont want to continue on this road. How long have you been dating him?

[PRSOV]

That's something that has to be voluntary by him. She can't drag him to rehab.

 

I agree but nobody wants to be a drug addict.

[Anna.]

No, you're right. I don't know if you're like me, but for me -as a recovering drug addict, i know for a fact that I couldn't date someone who still did that stuff, cause honestly if I'm around drugs, I'm gonna do them. I had to distance myself from my friends that did drugs cause when that's your deal, its a lifestyle. It's not something that you have control over, it controls you.

 

From the time I was 16 up until about a year and a half ago my life revolved around drugs. I've done every drug except heroin and acid. And I thought everybody else was crazy. Like they just didn't understand. I thought it was just a different lifestyle. So I definitely understand what his buddies are saying. They don't see why he should have to quit. But what i realized was that people on drugs don't succeed in life and they don't stay in touch with reality. I cringe when i think of some of the messed-up stuff I did while I was on drugs. It's just no way to live.

 

My point is that you probably aren't going to make him understand. Until he wants to quit, he's not going to. Period. It probably sucks to hear this, but you can't quit drugs for anyone other than yourself. You just can't. My brother is the most hardcore drug addict I've ever seen in my entire life. And sometimes when I see him I can see the guilt in his eyes. He knows what he's doing and he knows how bad it hurts our family, but he can't quit, b/c he doesn't want it for himself.

 

And I've been in one of those relationships and i've seen tons of other couples where it's like, "we're gonna quit together baby." And that just doesn't work. Cause your both addicts, neither one of you is strong enough to lean on. I mean I don't want to generalize and say it never ever works, but I've never seen it work, and I've seen it fail time after time.

 

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but I've been there, for real, and what I'm saying is from my real life experiences.

[Salty]

He says he doesn't need it he'll stop after acid he did a tab the other night but it didnt work so he wants to get another 1. It's so pathetic he lies to me all the time but i'm so weak I just can't let go! I know he won't stop after acid he'llw ant to do it again and again but he just won't listen to me and why should he I quit but i slip up and he won't let me forget it everytime he calls me high and I get mad at him. Then he pulls the I guess u have to leave me again cause i did e again and he knows i cant leave him.

[hoppy27]

if he's started using meth his road to distruction will be a quick one.

 

the two drugs i never tried were heroin and meth. mainly because meth wasnt really available during "my time". meth has made its way to the east coast and im glad it wasnt here 10 years ago. heroin always just seemed like a dity drug that i just didnt want to try. i didnt like the idea of being "hooked" after only one try. so i never bothered.

 

my situation may be unique.........................i was a mess through highschool. that was my party time.

at the ripe age of 18 i made a decision to leave school. may have saved my life. i grew up real quick. i quit the "hard stuff". i havent touched anything except weed in over 10 years.

 

some of the drugs he is messing with are no joke. especially the meth.

bad news.

 

i feel the only thing you can do is save yourself. remove him and all other users from your life. i know its hard................but you need to do it.

 

blieve me..............there is life after this guy.

[Salty]

So I should just give up on him...I wish i should but my self- esteem is way too low and for some reason I think I love him....Can't time fix these things?

[Salty]

Am I the problem as well I mean i slip up and if i'm weak I'm not helping him.

[PRSOV]

You are not the problem.

 

Maybe it is best you leave him immediately, this isn't going to be pretty with drugs like acid... especially at such a young age.

 

Do NOT blame yourself.

[miserableme]

If you leave him, you'll be surprised how quickly your self esteem is rebuilt. You'll probably feel awful for a couple of weeks and want to go back to him but eventually you'll feel great. Can I ask how long you've been together?

 

What is it that you love about him? He lies and cares more about drugs than about you. I can promise you won't see this until it's over though.

[Salty]

A year in October. And everytime i try to leave him he binges on drugs so if he ods its my fault.

[Anna.]

Run. i'm telling you from experience if you stay with him and in that lifestyle you do not have a future. Half of the people I love are sucked into that black whole known as addiction.

 

It's not that YOU are the problem. DRUGS are the problem. The way I'm taking it is that you have not been doing all of it that long.

If you still can get out of the situation without having to go through rehab and all that- do it now.

I want to help you so much, b/c I wish so bad sometimes that somebody had got this message into my head before I did the things I did. To be honest with you, I'm still paying for mistakes I made. And some of them I will have to deal with for the rest of my life.

[Salty]

Thank you Anna and everyone else very much I am really starting to get motivated again when i was doing drugs heavily I just didnt care about anything But now I want to have a good future thats why I came to this site for advice... thats why I need my boyfriend to change because I can't have a lowlife in my life when my goals are set so high.

[PRSOV]

I don't think you can change your boyfriend, he is addicted to drugs and you cannot change that. Drugs like acid are too powerful.

[Anna.]

J.C, PM me if you ever need any support or just wanna talk to somebody whose been through what you are going through.

[candy604]

admit him to a drug treatment place..if your addicted it's a different story b/c it's hard to stop drugs if you don't get professional treatment. ( your body goes through withdrawl symtoms etc...). Just bring him though, he's in denial right now, but he really needs help.