Monogamy Outdated?

[stkekeke]

I'm a 17 year old BALEETED. No longer needed.

[princess81]

It is to many std's going on around out there and there is pregnancy but if you want to chance it be safe because I want your next post to be a happy one.

[itsallgrand]

At 17, I say go ahead and date two guys. Sure, why not!

*As a big sisterly aside: this means dating without sex.

 

So long as you are honest, it will be good for you. You'll learn a lot of what you are looking for in a longer-term partner later on. It's exactly what you should be doing, in my humble opinion.

 

As far as monogamy goes: no way is it outdated. I love monogamy. It just has to be the right person, and the right time in a person's life.

 

I am neutral about poly relationships. To each their own.

 

But what you are talking about is simply dating - not polygamy. Nothing wrong with a young woman dating several men.

 

have fun, be safe.

[melrich]

It may work for a while but you will not be able to balance things in the medium term. Someone will lose logic and practicality to emotions and feelings and who knows it may be you.

 

I'd be surprised if the other parties agreed. If they do, their understanding will not be what yours is.

[LostInMyThoughts]

Sorry but at 17 and without having experienced a relationship, you're not qualified to say whether or not monogamy is outdated.

 

As for your polyamorous soul: there is a polyamory community near where I live, and it seems to work for them. If you want that life style, and your partners want it too, then it's really shouldn't be a problem.

 

Even though one person might say they are okay with it, deep down they would prefer to have a monogamous relationship. I think it would be rare to find two people that you are attracted to, who are a good fit with you, and who would be all for a pologamous relationship.

 

I'm not saying what you want is right or wrong, just that it is likely to be a difficult situation. Good luck though

[stkekeke]

Oh, I'm totally unintrested in sex. I'm somewhere between hyposexual and asexual - it doesn't bother me, but it would bother most potential boyfriends especially if they were to be sexually exclusive to somebody who doesn't get sexual with them. You don't have to be religious or health-minded to abstain.

 

Yes, for now it's dating, but if one of them emerges into a boyfriend, I don't want to have to stop talking/dating the other.

 

Melrich - these parties are the nicest guys I know, and one has already said he's okay, and the other one has two lesbian mums. They don't get much more tolerant, patience and awesome.

 

Lostinmythoughts - Oh no! of course not, monogamy is perfect for some people and it's all that they want. I wouldn't try to indoctrinate people into my situation, because it's confusing as all hell. As for a deeper longing for a monogamous relationship - I could kill myself worrying about them being happy. I'm going to take them at their word because I trust them.

 

Thanks for all the replies

[LostInMyThoughts]

Yes, for now it's dating, but if one of them emerges into a boyfriend, I don't want to have to stop talking/dating the other.

 

If its dating, then dating multiple people shouldn't be an issue, especially if both parties know whats going on.

 

After dating a while, and one emerges as a boyfriend, well you may still want to date this other person, but you may not. Sounds like it's too early to tell.

[Luck of the Irish]

Get out of highschool first kiddo.

[stkekeke]

Heh, thanks but no thanks luckoftheirish. Right now I don't attend conventional highschool - I do my schoolwork by corrospondence, and it's not my highest priority, because I'm too busy doing intresting things that don't make me hate life.

 

I know, I'm only seventeen.

[Momene]

Sure there's not some nice Mr C lurking around who has the nice qualities of both boys?

[quietgrl]

I hope monogamy isn't dead.