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Can I trust him around my girl?


Azual
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Over the course of this summer, someone I've known for a while and befriended (We both have the same friends and like D&D and video games and stuff) got angry at me because I said a line in a video game that he seems to think he has made up.

 

The line being after someone asks how much an item is worth you say; "Nothing, give it to me "

Well I said it once because I noticed he was busy in a fight and then he whispers me ingame saying "Dude what the heck (not the actual language), don't steal my line"

And trying to avoid confrontation I respond with "Sorry dude, noticed you were fighting and wouldn't be able to say it and didn't want the line to die, and if you're just gonna get angry about it I'm sorry, but if you're not gonna say it, I will."

 

To which he responds, "Well then I'll kidnap your girlfriend and do with her as I please."

 

Now I'm normally a pretty passive guy, you make fun of me, ya I'll laugh. Make fun of my family, I'll join in. But when it comes to my girlfriend I'm very defensive about her and what he said crossed the line... So naturally I said;

"If ever you did I think she would kick your beat the daylights out of you and let me beat the hell out of you"

"Well if you ever got close I'd slit her throat and I know people in Oakland so I'll just go hide there so you won't be able to find me"

 

I stopped talking to him for a while and let my girlfriend know what was up, she said she understood my concern, and after about 2 months I trusted him enough to have me near him and 3-4 months later, I still can't trust him around her.

 

School has begun now and he has 2 classes with her, and I'm just worried he is going to do something very stupid.

 

I'm trying to drop him as a friend for the most part but the girlfriend wants him around, "Because he's funny".

 

What should I do?

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You were right the first time around - that's not funny, even in jest.

 

Have you told your girlfriend - in depth - about the concerns to her safety? That's what I'd do if I was worried someone I cared about was in danger from a person I knew.

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Yes, I told her that I was concerned because he usually isn't one to make idle threats and I don't want anything to happen to her and I don't want to get in a fight with this guy because she hates seeing me hurt (And I've done some really stupid things in the past and the courts wouldn't look kindly upon fighting), but she still insists on keeping him around. I know I can't just kick him out of the classes they have together but I would like him to leave us alone every now and then.

 

And I'm also switching my classes around so I can keep an eye on him and be with her (And she is the one who asked me to do this, to be with her, not keep an eye on him, that's one of my own reasons).

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I think what Anna1216 means is that you get a close friend or two that you can trust to keep an eye on this guy for you when he and your girlfriend are alone in class together, get their perspective on how things are between them and how he acts when they're alone.

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If you are concerned about this guy being around your girlfriend, why don't you talk to her parents and tell them what's going on and let them decide what their next action will be. I know your girlfriend won't be too happy with you at first, but when she realises it's for her own safety then she'll calm down.

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I agree with Tigris on telling her parents and you may also want to tell your parents, I think they will appreciate being briefed about what is going on and they could even give you advice. It is a good idea to tell someone older because you never know about people these days, even people you are close to. Hope everything works out for the best.

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Well, after looking back on this, I understand where his anger came from. His whole family is a gaming family and his parents pushed him aside, made him do the cleaning and cooking so they could play. And his dog (of 10 years) had been put down the day before. I forgive him, but I can't trust him. I will however let her parents know and my own if anything happens. However, I need to sligtly rely on him for the time being (If you read my "I'm gonna get in a fight with this kid... thread). However I don't think he'll tell me the full truth. So we'll see how this unfolds.

 

Thanks for the advice.

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