does being friends first have an effect?

[Daligal83]

Do you think that if you are friends before you start dating, that you can fall in love faster? You already know so much about the other person, so it's not like starting fresh. I was just wondering people's opinion on this.

[Aurian]

Yes and no.

 

Sometimes a friend stays locked in the friend status. You can't imagine kissing them, much less other relationship things.

 

But other times, there is a bit of attraction that wasn't acted on before for whatever reason. And in those instances, it does feel safer/easier to fall in love.

[Daligal83]

What if you are in a romantic relationship already? Do you think the process of falling in love is faster when you've known the person for so long?

 

I was friends with my boyfriend for about 3 1/2 years before we started recently dating. One part of me says I love him, but then my rational side kicks in and says it's not possible because it's too soon. I don't know which to listen to lol.

[annie24]

I think it can go both ways like aurian said. you might only see them as a friend after knowing them for so long.

 

However, if you start dating and you feel something for them, I think the relationship may have a better chance at working out because your relationship is based on mutual respect and friendship, and that is always a good place to start. As opposed to meeting someone in a bar, where that relationship is based on attraction, which may or may not evolve into respect and love.

[Aurian]

Who says you have to pick one? Both have their points!

[Daligal83]

I'm the type of person that if I love someone, I want to say it. I just don't want to say it too early. Not that I'll have the chance because we're in an LDR and I can't see him until the end of September...but I don't want to freak him out by saying it so early on.

[annie24]

there are other things you can say... like, "I adore you", "I really like you", etc....

[Daligal83]

True...I think I have a harder time with that because I once said "I really like you" to an ex and he laughed at me. Granted he was a huge jerk, but it was embarrassing.

 

Maybe once we spend more time on the phone it'll come easier to me. We haven't had a lot of time to talk since we last saw each other...but I'm hoping once the start of the school year calms down we'll be able to talk more. I'm just having a tough time because he's already busy with school, work and his friends. I just got back and I don't have class until Thursday, my internship doesn't start until after labor day, and my social life here isn't the best.

[justpaisley]

Well...

 

My husband and I were attached at the hip, but just friends, for over 2 years when we started dating. We were married 2 and a half months later, and 5 years later, we're still insanely happy together. We're still best friends. I don't know that a friends-first relationship makes things go faster, but I think it makes things easier because if you're truly friends, you won't put up a front because you already know each other. My husband and I had seen each other through a lot of stuff before we started dating; previous relationships, breakups, sickness, sadness, anger, death in the family... We pretty much already knew each other perfectly.