Time to move on..

[desertnomad]

I know your right. I dont think I could have been good enough for her. there would have been something else wrong always. She even told me she could never live this down packing up and leaving (she never admitted to cheating) that I would never trust her again. I miss what was that is for sure. I was happy with it. It is a long uphill climb and I had not even gotten over the ex before her totally when I met her. Maybe I should rent some John Wayne movies. Thanks Lone

[LONESOUL]

lol...hey, the Duke is not a bad dude to hang with sometimes! Its such a battle isn't it? Winning our hearts back. SHE LOST, Desert. You can do this

and you will be so much better off and eventually with someone who would not ever hurt you in this way..keep your chin up~and fight.

 

Lone

[desertnomad]

Yeah a huge battle. She did hurt me worse than I could have ever hurt her despite a few mean things said. But they were always in anger during a disagreement and nothing in the last one year. If she had been mature about things we would still be together today and better people for it. She did lose. Remember the Duke in one of the movies being asked about a woman he lost and what happened...he said 'I dont look back..its a bad habit"

[LONESOUL]

Well ya know I think he had the right idea! We just have to keep pushing

forward at this point. As for me I am taking one step at a time (and man does it hurt...Saturday I just curled up into a ball and cried, until that is, I came to my senses and got pissed again...lol..) Letting go and allowing yourself to move on and begin to heal doesn't mean you don't love them anymore, or that you loved them any less you know that right? I think it just means that you have to, for you , because you are a good person who deserves to be happy and you can be happy~with yourself first and then with someone else. But first you have to let go. Forgive yourself for not being perfect, remember?

It wouldn't have changed the outcome anyway, no one in the history of the world is perfect. Oh and maybe you should yank her butt down off that pedestal, if you have her on one. Thats what I had to do with mine. I have no clue how the heck I ever put her up there to begin with. If you must play the movie over, and over in your head try to think of the things

that made her all wrong for you, the times you were unahappy etc, pretty soon you'll find yourself going for popcorn more often and you will realise you have become bored with the show. Do something for you today, take a walk,

pump some iron, ride your bike, motorcycle, whatever it is you like to do...but

get her off your mind for as long as you can...and keep doing that.

 

Lone

[tobetterdays]

this train is not slowing down nomad, so get back on it!

no looking back

[LONESOUL]

(railway whistle!!! whooo whooo!!! h*ll Yeah!!)

 

Go TBD...!!!!! You heard him Desert~back on this train!!!

[desertnomad]

Heh thanks Lone and TBD. Some hours are better than others. Sometimes so hard not to look back to the time when you had someone you cared about so much. I did have her on a pedestal something I will try never to do again if I get the chance. She obviously thought of me much lower than that. As far as things I was unhappy with Lone..yeah she never initiated a hug or I love you or anything in four years at least I dont remember it she did respond to me all the time but never initiated anything. guess that could have been a red flag. *getting back on the train*

[LONESOUL]

Anytime Desert~

Glad to have you back aboard my friend! Conductor TBD, he's on~ lets ride

this steel pony! (lord, maybe I SHOULD be drinking LOL!!!)

[desertnomad]

I think we all deserve a few drinks

[ataurusguy]

Your strength under the circumstances of your breakup is encouraging, my friend. You are completely right to take on this attitude and not dwell in the past, especially since she was the one who left you. I truly hope you continue to see better days.

[tobetterdays]

Your strength under the circumstances of your breakup is encouraging, my friend. You are completely right to take on this attitude and not dwell in the past, especially since she was the one who left you. I truly hope you continue to see better days.

 

that means a lot to me.. believe me, it is not easy for me. i struggle everyday with this. but i finally think my frame of mind is on the right track for healing. hopefully time will be on my side. it will soon be 2 months for me.

[Myk_]

High all, hope you don't mind, but I'm jumping on this train, and I'm not getting off until we're over the hill!

 

After 2 and a half years, I treated her like a princess, well, she's left... it's her loss now...

 

I have gained so much more self respect the last couple of days, and I intend for that to continue.

 

I've been going out with mates a lot more, they will always be there for me. And plus, I met some other girl the other night, whom I swapped numbers with, and she's such a diamond, I'm making steps in the right direction, and I'm not stopping. I'm what matters now.

 

So all, we can continue this, lets not look back in anger! We're gonna press the resume buttons on our life, and we're going to look forward to the moment we meet THAT special someone who feels the same!

 

Lets go for it all! and don't look back, to the future!!!

[desertnomad]

Welcome aboard MYK!..Pretty big hill to climb but taking it one day at a time. Plenty of room for more to jump on.

[tobetterdays]

this is really turning into something great!

anyone else?

[ScreenagerX]

I would like to jump on also but I'm still having my good days & bad days. We 'officially' split on the 29th of June after 11 years together including 4 years of marriage & a 2 year old daughter. My ex-wife has already met someone else which hurts immensely. I myself have spent too much time thinking about the opposite sex so have decided I really do need to concentrate on myself. I intend to see out 2006 without anyone else in my life, if I feel comfortable about seeing someone by then, well thats fine, if not I will continue to spend time with friends & my daughter.

[desertnomad]

Welcome aboard MBINSF and SPADER! The move on train is for anyone who feels,thinks or knows they deserve better...whatever stage your at. Its for good days and bad days...good hours and bad hours when you just need to vent or talk.

[Riley99]

I'm jumping on the train as well!

 

After being "broken up" for almost a year and "ambiguous" for the rest of the time, I've had my fill. I finally wrote him an e-mail stating that I have given him all I have, but deserve so much more. I told him we could not remain friends, as he wanted, and that I was finally moving on with my life. I told him that NC was something I needed to progress and to be mentally healthy. I have always been there for him, and I think this came as a huge shock. He has called me three times since receiving it and it has been so tough, but I haven't picked up. He hasn't left a message or replied to my email, I think he wants to talk to me. So thanks all for the encouragement and inspiration. Its reassuring to know that so many are going through the same thing...

 

We'll get through it together.

[LONESOUL]

Yeah! Whooo, look what happened while I was sleeping. Good for you EVERYBODY! Myk, mbinsf, Spader, Riley99!!!!...aturusguy, you on?

Whooo inspiring!! To wonderful lives ahead...and to people helping us up that hill as we go!! Desert, could NOT have said that better myself...this train is for all, no matter what stage, who knows or even thinks they deserve better and who wants to look FORWARD!!

TBD...way to go man...way to go!!!

[desertnomad]

Well another tough morning. Just so hard to not miss what you dont have and cared about so much. some days all you can do is just put one foot in front of the other I guess and look forward.

[LONESOUL]

Desert, thats so true. I

feel completely out of sorts, I live in a different place

then the home I had for 7 years. I miss my ex, I miss my ex's son, I miss the cat. I miss whipping my car into my spot in the driveway...I miss allot. But the thing is, I can't have all that back. It wasn't the right match for me, even though sometimes it really felt it. If it had been ~my ex would not have been able to do the things to me that my ex did. There is no place to go but forward for me...and those little baby steps are getting me that much closer to feeling better, and to freedom from this hell~so I will take them, painfull as they are. (And they are!) So whats going on with you today? Just got yourself the major the blues? It happens, we all get sad from time to time, but itis temporary. It won't last forever. You will get stronger.

My inconsiderate friend seems to love to shove my ex in my face whenever possible~so I have a fun dealing with that today. whew...they say that which does not kill us makes us stronger...I must be freaking Atlas by now...

[desertnomad]

Hey Lone ...sorry to hear about your annoying friend...its tough enough being with annoying coworkers but when they are talking about your ex...ugh . Not majorly blue here today just real sad when I wake up man. Miss her smiling face some times but then that smiling face was deceptive at times even at disney land two weeks before she left ugghh. Yeah its tough to lose the familiar. We all like some kind of routine and the ex and the son (or daughter in my case) and that spot in the driveway get to be very familiar along with the feelings of security they give. They are things worth striving for but I guess in our cases it was all just an illusion for the most part. Hang in there.

[LONESOUL]

Yeah, well, some people suck. Thanks though!

I will, you too. It is an illusion of sorts, in that I think it was real, even for us.

But it wasn't the REAL one as in, the one to last forever. Mornings were so rough for me for MONTHS. (it's been 11 weeks broken up...3 weeks NC today)

I have no idea why because my ex was a real pain in the a** in the morning...lol...oh and the afternoon evening and night. But, I loved her anyway like a damn fool~gave her all I had...uggg. My ex was and is so

messed up though, really, just a screwed up person. In that way it might be

a little easier for me. We actually tried to split 3 times over 7 years, this being the 3rd and LAST. We never made it more than 2 days without talking before this last break. (She has moved on though, she thinks she cannot be alone. Some people think that way.) The 2nd time I became sucidal...I promised myself I would never let her put me there again, and I didn't and I

haven't. (for the mosty part...weeeks 3 and 4 we're if'y) I just cannot let myself get that low. She is not worth it, no one is!!

[LONESOUL]

mbinsf~great, I hope your laptop was insured...sleep is very important.

Are you trying to do things at night to wear yourself out? I am kind of going through the same thing...well sort of. I needed some meds at first, so my doctor perscribed me xanax, but I am horrible at taking pills, for some reason they knock me on my butt. So, I could only take them at night. (which is okay~they helped me sleep) I have some left but I am trying to wean myself off them completely so the last few nights have been up and down, toss and turn, cry and think. Not good....but I keep reminding myself~temporary.

I hope your day gets some better, maybe with that nap

[desertnomad]

yeah your right noone is worth dying for...Funny the only times I felt suicidal were with my ex wife and my current ex...lol maybe that was a sign. Didnt do anything really just felt so backed into a corner that I didnt know what to do. But that was a couple years ago with the current ex when things were rocky due to some bad circumstances. She kind of used it against me to claiming I was crazy because I felt that way even though she was being incredibly mean. Oh well gonna do my best to focus straight ahead. the mornings are hell but the day gets better at work with people I know.

[desertnomad]

Sorry to hear about your laptop MB god that really sux! Thats the last thing you need right now ...any bad luck. Hopefully it is covered. Breakups or another loss are the most exhausting thing anyone can go through I think. I would rather work 70 hour weeks then go through a breakup.