Help! I don't feel sexual anymore :(

[babypink61]

This is a bit embarrassing to share . . . but I think I'm starting to lose my libido! And I'm only 25 years old!! It's suppose to be my prime! And I can't figure out what is wrong with me

 

I've been with my bf for about 1.5 years, and at the beginning of the relationship, we used to do it all the time! We only get to see each other on weekends, so usually we'd do it 2-3 times a day! Now a days, it's more like, 1-2 times in the whole weekend. It's mostly me though. I don't know why I just don't have the desire anymore. I mean, I'd be perfectly fine with just cuddling, but just not sex. My relationship is taking a huge hit because my bf is a very sexual person and he gets really frustrated and depressed because he thinks that the problem is him, like I'm no longer attracted to him physically or something, which is not true! He even suspected that I was cheating on him, which I don't blame him for questioning, but that's also untrue. I'm starting to think that maybe I am just bored with sex so I suggested doing different things. But he doesn't think that's the "long term" solution to the problem because you shouldn't have to always do something "different" when you have sex. I think he's still convinced that I'm just not into him anymore. Help!! I just don't know how many times I can explain to him that it's not him, but me. Is this normal?? Or could this be some sort of condition that I should be taking some sort of supplements for? So confused!

[Dako]

Some people want sex more than others. That's a fact.

Wanting it 3 times a day or once a month are equally normal, depending on the person.

You can go to a doc and get a medical opinion and then decide if you just aren't into it because of stress, boredom or anxiety.

[hosswhispra]

You probably need to mix it up a bit and make it interesting.

 

It seems from what you wrote that when you guys do it, you do it the same way all the time?

 

If that's the case, I would imagine losing interest myself.

 

Try it in the car, a park or somewhere else...get creative!

[rose2summer]

Are you on birth control?

 

BC completely destroyed my libido, and since I got off it, well, that's a whole other story!

[rose2summer]

Mix it up like Hoss mentioned...

 

On the beach, in the car, in the dressing room, ok, these are not places I have tried myself

[AwdreeHpburn]

babypink - Like Dako said, everyone is different and has a different drive and the truth is, at least I think this is true, sex drive can wax and wane. Mine too has decreased since having kids. And everyone keeps saying, "well women don't hit their peak until around 30."

 

I'm 33.

 

I'm ok with it but like you said, my partner is not. He has said those same things to me.

 

I don't really have any advice to offer as I'm in the same sinking boat as you....just wanted you to know that I can relate.

[Beec]

It could be birth control, as rose suggests. If it's not, then it's possible there are other medical reasons. But, it's more likely that it is a mental reason, it's about what is going on in your mind.

 

If you come home every day, or each weekend, and know you will have sex in the same way, the same number of times, etc., then you being to accept it, then you take it for granted, then you stop wanting it. When something is there for the taking, you want it less. When he comes in, he wants sex, and now it is not there for the taking, which means he still wants it. But for you, it's there whenever you want. All you probably need to do is be willing, and you get it. And that makes it worth less.

 

What to do? Get your bf to hold out and make you work for it? Maybe. Or maybe you tease him, work on him where you tease him into thinking he will then maybe he won't then he gets sex. And when it is done, ask him how it was? And it will have been hotter than it has been for some time, I'd bet.

 

This is all about tension, which you create by teasing him and holding out, and then release. Tension, creates nervous energy. The butterflies you felt before he kissed you the first time, that was tension. Then when the tension gets released, like when he kissed you, you feel great. You need him to create some tension and release.

 

So after teasing him and haivng sex, that's when you tell him that, you know, I need some of that from you. Don't tell me when, don't do it next weekend, but do it.

 

And you can do this with him even kissing him. Have him try to kiss you, then back away soyour lips just don't touch, then when he moves further in, back further away, tease him, then grab him and land a big one on his lips. Backing away, creates tension, kissing him will release it.

[dude69]

like a couple of other people suggested, it might just be boring because there is probably nothing special about it anymore... you guys probably just get naked and have sex. Try playing some hard to get games, roleplaying, different places, in public where you know you might have a chance to get caught. Think about it, if you did something you liked the exact same way everyday you would eventualy get bored of it. Same goes with sex, if its more of a routine then anything else then i can understand why your not in the moods anymore. Be creative and let your mind run wild !

 

Good luck

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Is it a possibility you are, deep down, losing interest in him? You probably arn't, but the possibility is there?

[nottoogreen]

Hi babypink,

 

Please don't laugh, but women which enjoy satisfying sex do not get bored or lose interest in sex easily and that many women do not know when they are satisified.

 

You have to ask yourself whether you are satisfied with yourself, job, life, relationship and sex, ... and resolve what angers and hurts and in turn depresses you.

[Momene]

General stress can cause problems, as I kinow only too well.

[babypink61]

Thanks for all the response everyone!

 

I am currently on birth control and I've been on it for about 3-4 months now. I was suspecting that it might be the cause of the problem but was not sure. I don't really have that much stress in my life right now and am not depressed at all, so I don't think that's a factor. I am very much in love with my bf and am still attracted to him, but I just can't figure out what my problem is!! It's very frustrating. I just want to figure out what my problem is so I can fix it

[Momene]

TRy medical help. I think the problem is really quite common.

[blaxdiamond]

This is just post of relating to you. Lately I haven't been wanting to as much as I used to. I think it's because I'm stressing and the fact that it seems like that's all he wants when we're together. I don't know but I feel you 100% girl.