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seriously RANDOM question


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No, not all men look at porn but I have yet to meet one who hasn't viewed it at some point.

 

It's understandable that him viewing porn makes you feel inadequate. I would either suggest you two watch a flick together or tell him that it makes you feel inadequate. Most women by the way, share your view regarding porn - at least here on eNotalone.

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Your feelings are perfectly normal, but you should not necisarrily feel that way. Men are more responsive and more interested in visual stimulus than women. But anyway, just because he is looking at it in no way means that you are not good enough. There are a lot of men who even if given their dream girl (physical wise) would still look at porn. Porn is a unique experience, but men dont always do it because they are not satisfied with their partner. However, you should discuss it with him and if you find that it makes you uncomfortable you should attempt to reach a compromise, hopefully he will be willing to give it up FOR YOU if that is what you want. Perhaps not because he thinks it is wrong, or that it means what you say it does, but because he wants to make you happy. If you want other advice you could always try making your own (with him obviously) for him, or give him some dirty pictures of yourself etc. If he cant have sex at the time, or it is incovenient or whatever he will have something to use Good luck

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I would say the answer to this is similair to asking the same question about many vices.

 

Do all men drink?

 

Do all men gamble?

 

The answer is some, but not all, though they have probably been involved with it at some point in there lives.

 

It really doesn't matter how "normal" it is, if it is causing you insecurities he should be able to understand that and at least keep it from being very obvious from you.

 

At the same time, you have to understand it's not a reflection on you and asking a partner to stop looking at porn is controlling and inappropriate, it's his body; he should be able to (and will) do what he likes. Maybe the porn isn't a big deal to him and he doesn't want to hurt you so he'll be happy to let it go. Maybe he'll think you're being bossy and infringing on his personal space and either tell you a) he's going to watch it or b) placate you by telling you he will not watch it and hide it.

 

If he did not want to stop viewing porn, could you find a way to be happy with him?

 

 

**Also - I would be careful about nagging on this too much, that seems to have the opposite reaction and porn can be addicting, you wouldn't want to help him find his way to that trap.

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I don't think all men do- but some do.

 

I think it has the potential to cause problems in a relationship if the following are present:

 

*low self-esteem

*whether or not he's "sneaking" to look at it behind your back (lying, denying turns into a bigger issue because then trust is violated)

*how sexually open you are with one another

*If it becomes an addiction and if he'd prefer to view it over spending quality time with you

 

Personally, I've seen porn and it's never done anything for me. I'm not necessarily opposed to it unless there are rape themes or underaged themes. But I get nothing out of porn other than a laugh. I see no point in watching sex, I'd rather be having it.

 

My husband is more visual and finds porn more entertaining than I do. I know he looks at it occasionally. He is a little embarrassed that he does. He used to try to hide it, but luckily we got past that....

 

In most cases, I don't think having a partner who looks at porn means that they are not satisfied with you, especially if you are having sex regularly and are in a healthy relationship otherwise. I don't know how to summarize it any better except sometimes there's really no reason for it- it's just something some men (and women) do.

 

I would not worry too much about it

 

BellaDonna

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