Ex who wanted to be friends doesnt want to anymore

[vjg13]

After finally doing NC for 1 month I contacted my ex which I probably shouldn't have. Things went good though. She is the one who left me. She said she wanted me in her life as a friend and you never know what could happen in the future. The problem was that she was seeing someone else I think this someone was the reason she left me in the 1st place. Everthing was good for a little over a month. We talked everyday and even hung out a few times. Well this past weekend I asked what she did and just blew up like if I was trying to get into her business and that I don't know how to be a friend. She said I'm not worth it, I'm a joke, I'm two-faced, she doesn't need my negativity in her life, she's happy with who she has.

 

I feel like I did 3 months ago when I started day 1 of NC. All the progress for nothing. She noticed the changes in me but I feel I've reverted back to trying to win her back not as a girlfriend but as a friend this time. It seems like I'm back to feeling needy and clinging to her again. The stuff she said is typical of her she has always abused me like that verbally even when we were together and for some reason I still feel the same for her.

 

Her birthday is in Sep. I'm wondering if I should get her anything or just not talk to her ever again. I kind of feel like pushing her out of my life for good even if she tries to initiate contact because she is just bad to me and I keep letting myself. But I love her so much I wish she noticed that and acted different. So birthday or no birthday? My birthday is the week following hers. Take her call or not on mine? If I ignore hers I guess I'm sure she'll ignore mine.

[NJRon]

Don't talk/communicate to her ever again. You did great for the first month... you have had a set back. She doesn't seem to value you as a friend. Who needs a friend like that when enemies are easier to find and much lower maintenance ?

[Dako]

I agree with Ron.

 

Being friend after a split has no room for drama. None.

It's about the most fragile situation there is, and if you can't be there for each other without attitude, it can't work.

[Iceman26]

She said she wanted me in her life as a friend and you never know what could happen in the future. The problem was that she was seeing someone else I think this someone was the reason she left me in the 1st place.

 

99.9% of the time they want to be your friend to alleviate their own guilt for ending the relationship or until they find someone else to fufill the role you once served in in their life.

 

The other guy probably either didn't know about her still being friends with you or wanted her to end her friendship with you, which she inevitably did, which hopefully will help you move on to bigger and better things.

[loveisaparadox]

And *definitely* no birthday present. You are just setting yourself up to feel even worse if she does not 'reward' your gift giving with 'good behaviour'. I've been down that road. I bought my ex some sexy clothes during a period we were getting along. Now the relationship is totally over and I have to imagine her in those clothes, with someone else. Not fun.

[real1sttimer]

How old are you VJG13? Let her come after you, you tried your part. She seems a bit imature, but I don't know her age either. She always play games with you? Someone's feelings always get hurt, and I hate games. Wish you the best, but let contact you and if she continues to be like this, then move on.

[25thfloor]

i feel your pain. my ex broke my heart, then tried to be friends, then blew up at me when i asked about his weekend, and said 'i don't want to share the details of my life with you. stop trying to contact me'....one month of N/C down the drain. i had to start over again. not only was i dumped as a girlfriend, i then got dumped as a friends. don't you dare contact her again. she's a fake.