Hey Everyone

[LONESOUL]

I have been lurking and reading here for several weeks. My heart goes out to

so many of you, and I have been inspired as well by so many.

Here is my story. My ex and I had been together for about 7 years. Living together and breaking up (but never REALLY breaking up) 3 times during that period. The thing is my ex is not very comfortable with her sexuality, she

hates "labels" (many people do) but for the sake of understanding I will call

her bi sexual. I am a lesbian, and I am comfortable out. When we met 7 years ago she was going through a divorce. We had "passion" and I feLLl in love hard. ( I was not her first woman)

I thought she did as well, but she just has so many issues beyond not wanting to have an openly pubic lesbian relationship. She was in a car accident years ago her neice was killed. Her mother committed sucide when she was young, her Dad molested her, her husband beat her...lord the baggage. I fell anyway, and even harder for son. Because she was somewhat mentally unstable and not on meds (at that time) I took care of them. She lost her job and I told her to

go back to school, she did that. I supported them. I finally convinced her

she needed meds, shes was on them when I left. (yes I left, I never felt secure and finally I left)

When I met them they

were in a run down trailer shack, now they live in a beautiful home and she

makes great money. She always wanted to be the fun parent to her son so she never wanted to disipline him. So when he did bad in school Iwas the one who convinced her to ground him etc...I want him to be somebody, and he can be!

anyway, we spilt 8 weeks ago and nows she's with a guy.

The son is glad because she hid our relationship from him for all those years

for fear her would reject her. Yes, he knew anyway but pretended not to.

And the person who was the rule maker is gone now, so he could care less I guess. The first few weeks I figured out pretty quick she was going into party mode, she was never home etc...she drunk dialed me...

She kept up contact with me until last week when I got a huge cell bill and

insisted that she get new cells phones for herself and her son.

They had no home phone so I had let her keep the cell phones until she got new phones..well she got them and didn't even bother to tell me. When I finally got them back. (out of the mailbox that I had to drive too...)

I haven't heard from either of them since. His Dad, pays child support but has

nothing to do with him in 7 years...it's been me, and the kid.

And now NOTHING..

I FEEL SO USED!! PLEASE HELP FOLKS...

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling. Only lots of time will heal your wounds. Remember that she was a train wreck when you found her and she still. She may have picked herself up financially, but emotionally she is still a basket case. You are so much better off without her (yes, easy to say but not so easy to feel when your heart is involved). Now she is this guy's problem. She will never change. As for the son, you know where that will lead...he will likely not get his act together and you are far better off away from him. I know it is difficult to see now, but you made the smart choice by walking away. Her and her son don't see that they have a problem and you will never be able to make them see it. You will pick up the pieces and eventually heal and be so much better off. You will forge ahead and they will still be stuck in the same rut. This is the beginning of a new life for you and you will make it through.

[flower99]

Great advice craxyabuotdogs. I totally agree.

 

I'm sorry for all you must be feeling, time will heal those wounds.You were wise to walk away, you did everything you could to help them (it wasn't in vain, God sees that) But you just couldn't change them.

It's time to take care of yourself now, you have needs too & it's time to heal. You are a strong women. And you did the right thing to walk out, it is the beginning of a new life. take the leasons & trust that everything happened for a reason.

[LONESOUL]

Thanks allot for the words of encouragement.

Way way too much Drama, I didn't even touch the tip of

the iceberg above~nor do I really want to.

Trainwreck ahhh YES~ My head knows...my heart is learning the hard way.

[LONESOUL]

I am struggling really hard with knowing how to start over again, I'll

be 40 this year. I built my life around them. (yes I know it is a mistake to do that) I did it anyway. I miss my life. I miss them. But I want so much to

have a real relationship with someone who is not ashamed of me, and someone who does not make me feel bad about myself. My ex is a very selfish person. I just wanted to love them, and for us to be a family. I feel so

stupid.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Never feel stupid for loving someone. It is they who should feel stupid for not being able to love.

[flower99]

Very true, crazyaboutdogs. Lonesoul, you know she was selfish & wrong. Don't feel stupid at all.

Everything you want from a relationship, you deserve. You will heal from this & when you do. NEVER SETTLE for anything less than your hearts desires. (make a list, that helped me, go through the list when you've found someone...make sure the meet your needs before committing yourself)

Stay strong & remember this will pass & better things will come.

Best wishes & post anytime you need someone feel free to PM as well (: