Am I too picky???????????

[Yvette84]

So is this dumb? it drives me CRAZY when I talk to my BF on the phone after I get home from work and he doesn't even ask me how my day was!?!? and if I get back from church or spending time with family he NEVER will ask how anything went???? he'll just be like "Hi" and I ask him how his day was and stuff and he'll answer and that's it.

I jokingly say (to myself) Hey, Yvette how waas your day??" Oh...keith (my BF's name) thanx for asking it was great" dumb I know, but it bugs the heck out of me!!!!!!!!!!!! am I nitpicking???? any opinions are welcome! thanx

[Lady Bugg]

I don't think you're nitpicking..I think you're expecting your BF to read your mind. You are the type who likes to be romanced...and yes...wanting someone to ask about your day IS a form of romance. Yes you ask him about his day..but guys minds work differently than womens. He probably assumes your day was ok..otherwise you would probably be telling him it wasn't. No news is good news in his mind. Don't beat him up about it. Learn to pick your battles.

[ElektraHere]

Yvette,

 

Have you seen a pattern lately??? I mean look over all your recent posts. You are starting to see the quirks that are already bothering you and you havent even met this person face to face. He is moving out to you and to live near you. If you are already seeing these little issues it only will get worse when he is there. This is probably who he is and you know that you CAN NOT change who he is.

You may want to have him visit you first before he packs it all up and moves out your way.

[Yvette84]

Yvette,

 

Have you seen a pattern lately??? I mean look over all your recent posts. You are starting to see the quirks that are already bothering you and you havent even met this person face to face. He is moving out to you and to live near you. If you are already seeing these little issues it only will get worse when he is there. This is probably who he is and you know that you CAN NOT change who he is.

You may want to have him visit you first before he packs it all up and moves out your way.

I would be he can't afford it. if he visited, then he could not move here. It is financially impossible. I know I'm seeing quirks, and that'

s Ok, because I was expecting it. No ones perfect, the thing is can you deal with a persons flaws or not. That's why I wanted to know if I was being too picky or not, so that I can ease up if I am.

[ElektraHere]

I think you are seeing the real deal. Be careful with the expectations it may not be what you have thought it was going to be.

[Tex1907]

If he doesn't know you are upset about it, how do you expect the guy to do something about it?? Open up your mouth and tell him whats bothering you. If he is worth it, he will be more sensitive to your needs. If he is not, he won't. He has to know whats bothering you first before you flip out ok?? I think a lot of women don't realize this and it drives me nuts. Soooo many women use way too much sign language and not enough meaningful conversation...hehe. Conversation is the only thing that can possibly solve problems, not mind reading....Hope this helps u...

[NKP]

Not many guys ask that and if you wat him to ask you that well talk to him or else he will never know your getting upset over this

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Ahhh some of us just arn't wired like that. Frequently, I will think to myself after a half-hour conversation with my boyfriend

 

"Dammit, I forgot AGAIN to ask him how his day was!"

 

So I call him back and ask him. I just don't automatically ask such things.

[RayKay]

I would be he can't afford it. if he visited, then he could not move here. It is financially impossible. I know I'm seeing quirks, and that'

s Ok, because I was expecting it. No ones perfect, the thing is can you deal with a persons flaws or not. That's why I wanted to know if I was being too picky or not, so that I can ease up if I am.

 

It sure is cheaper than moving and then finding out in person, it's not what you expected at all, or not right. And then having to move again.

 

Seriously, you don't really know a person until you are TOGETHER, and right now, if you are getting frustrated over these things...well, be cautious.

 

No, no one is perfect, but there certainly are people whom are "perfect" for you, and if you are already bothered by things like this to point you are wondering if you should "ease up" that's a concern, since you have not even met yet and he is planning to move there.

 

He cannot read your mind, so if something is bothering you, or you want him to ask about your day for example, you have to talk to him about it.

[Yvette84]

I just don't want to be controlling or come off as a nag, I mean I will about big things. I dunno.......

[ElektraHere]

Hun you dont want to constantly be plowed over too. I think that you need to have as much as a voice and opinion as he does. If the balance is off then you know what happens.

 

I still think that you or he should visit first.

[candy604]

you need to tell him that you like being asked questions, some people are bad at communication and only answer questions. i met my girlfriends bf' and he's like that type that just didn't ask any questions about u but onli answered questions, it's odd. they just need to be taught, don't joke about it though. tell him he needs to be aware and to get a convo going he needs to ask questions.

[Momene]

I don't normally have long conversations with my wife about our days because for both of us, most of it is predictable. We only discuss any issues that might cause us to be ahppier or sadder than usual or may involve some sort of change.