A thought on what we are trying to achieve

[river dog]

"The purpose of a relationship is to decide what part of yourself you'd like to show up, not what part of another you can capture and hold" - "Conversations With God", Neale Donald Walsch

 

Are we seeking another chance to show up something about ourselves that we failed to show the first time around, or trying to recapture a part of another? Be honest.

 

I, for one, was so in fear of losing (i.e. losing her) that I forgot about giving love and just looked for receiving it, however small it presented itself.

 

Just a thought.

[Scotcha]

My boyfriend and I broke up for a period of time.. When we got back together and learned to work things out we both "showed up" differently and in return we each received more.

[NJRon]

Hmm. All I can say is that I have never felt love in a relationship where I did not give love. Indeed, regardless of how much love I receive, unless I give it, I don't feel the love. It has been the same in reverse.

 

thereforeeee, while I don't exactly identify with the terminology used in the quote: "show up". I believe we should be in relationships for giving. For, if we don't give, we never open ourselves up and, thus, can not receive.

[river dog]

Hmm. All I can say is that I have never felt love in a relationship where I did not give love.

I meant after I felt the fear of loss. I gave lots of love before and it was accepted but it was love expecting love in return. Me entiendes?

[NJRon]

Love not given freely, with no expectations, is not love.

[river dog]

Love not given freely, with no expectations, is not love.

 

Then we understand each other, right? I think that is at the heart of a lot of the issues here. There were expectations and they will kill almost any relationship.

[NJRon]

Expectations kill love. They are, however, the foundation of a lasting relationship. The difference is, giving love freely, while still having expectations for a satisfying relationship (and providing for your partners expectations) can be difficult to separate.

 

When one can have a relationship in which their expectations are met and those of their partner are met *and* in which both freely give of their love... well then... I think that is a most beautiful thing. Met expectations allow the love to flow freely and, in those times when expectations are not met, and it must be addressed, the love can continue even while those things are addressed. You can even part in love, if need be.