Why should we appreciate beauty?

[nmduipd]

I've been reading some of the posts here, and lots of people seem to think it's nothing wrong to appreciate beauty (in terms of physical beauty).

Why should we? Why should we appreciate physical beauty?

You were born with it or you were not born with it.

There is nothing you can do to get it. Well, you can go and do a serious of cosmetic surgeries – not only that will make you look totally pathetic, that may not even help!

 

I can't believe people put so much emphasis on physical beauty.

We should appreciate beauty – why? It's not like we do can something about it. It just happens. It's like saying you should appreciate lottery winnings! It's pure luck to look the way society approves at this point in time.

 

Physical beauty changes from period to period, from person to person.

Anyway, it's basically only different shapes and different sizes. How can that be so important?! Still, in this society (maybe in all societies), people do so many stupid things because of above-mentioned beauty. The idea of beauty is not always the same, but the stupid things people do for it are almost always the same.

 

People say it's nothing wrong with appreciating beauty. I think it is. I think it is much more important to appreciate courage, intelligence, effort…almost everything else. Everything that you need to put an effort in is more valuable than pure physical beauty. Yet, it is the most appreciated.

 

In my opinion physical beauty is overrated.

 

Am I totally out of this world?

[butterflycloud]

I do tend to agree with you but I think that it is the extent to which we appreciate beauty that really matters- as the saying goes " Beauty is not everything'.

 

Not to be big headed or anything but I am considered to be a good looking person and sometimes that beauty lets me down because I am far more than beauty and many people dont see that. I ended up in a relationship where my beauty was everything to him and who I really was inside meant nothing- I still wonder if he would have ever been interested in me if I wasnt attractive.

 

To be truly loved you need someone to appreciate your inherent qualities for those are the ones that last and that are the true refelections of ones soul. And at the end of the day you want your partner to still be madly in love with you when you are old and no longer considered 'beautiful' to society.

[shes2smart]

If you happen to find yourself outside of the narrow definition of the culture's current definition of beauty, your opinion is understandable.

 

What you haven't taken into account is this: What individual people find attractive/beautiful is highly subjective. You could have a 3rd hand growing out of the center of your forehead and somewhere, someone would find it really cute. Not everyone (male or female) blindly accepts what the culture at large deems attractive or beautiful as gospel. I suspect a goodly number of folks probably find what's promoted as the pinnacle of beauty not quite their cuppa tea.

 

This lifetime, I've never been anywhere near the cultural ideal....I've been given the idea that I'm too fat, too short, not busty enough, not blonde enough, not blue-eyed enough, blah blah blah. It could make a gal feel really bad...but only if she let it. Upon seeing the connection between how making people feel bad sort of softens them up to make 'em part with their money, it's hard to see those cultural ideals as anything more than a plot to get me to buy: cosmetics, salon services, certain brands of clothing, diet foods, diet plans, exercise gear, jewelry, and a lot of other crap I really don't need.

 

In our day-to-day lives, though, it really comes down to individuals not the culture at large. If you go to a mall or other place where there are a lot of people milling around, you'll see very few who fit that cultural ideal....yet most (if not all) of the people you see are loved by someone because of their idiosyncrasies and imperfections...not despite of thier lack of "perfection." So, while I don't fit into the mold of "the ideal woman" physically or mentally (and never have), my husband thinks I'm the hottest chick walking the face of the earth and treats me as such. Who am I to tell him he's wrong?

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I appreciate beauty very much, and I'm not ashamed of it.

 

I am more respectful of beauty found in other peoples' actions eg. giving selflessly in some form, than in their faces, but there's nothing wrong with staring at someone (discreetly!) simply because you find them stunning.

 

It doesn't mean I value them more as human beings. It's just....something stunning, you're going to look at it! Why are great works of art considered great...often because they are beautiful?

 

Can't faces be considered nature's artwork and deserve admiration?

[Jane0815]

I used to think the same way.

 

Then a friend pointed out that I appreciate intelligence. Everything I'd said about physical beauty could be applied to mental intelligence (as opposed to what we now call emotional intelligence and other sorts of intelligence). Both raw IQ and early cultivation of it aren't things we can influence. You've got it (the genes for IQ and the parents who groom it) or you've got ... less.

 

 

Here's your post, with mental intelligence swapped in for physical beauty:

 

I’ve been reading some of the posts here, and lots of people seem to think it’s nothing wrong to appreciate intelligence (in terms of mental intelligence).

Why should we? Why should we appreciate mental intelligence?

You were born with it or you were not born with it.

There is nothing you can do to get it. Well, you can go for special tutoring and brain-strategy coaching and math camp – not only that will make you look totally pathetic, that may not even help!

 

I can’t believe people put so much emphasis on mental intelligence.

 

We should appreciate intelligence – why? It’s not like we do can something about it. It just happens. It’s like saying you should appreciate lottery winnings! It’s pure luck to have the brain society approves at this point in time.

 

Mental intelligence changes from period to period, from person to person.

 

Anyway, it’s basically only different IQs and brain capacity. How can that be so important?! Still, in this society (maybe in all societies), people do so many stupid things because of above-mentioned intelligence. The idea of intelligence is not always the same, but the stupid things people do for it are almost always the same.

 

People say it’s nothing wrong with appreciating intelligence. I think it is. I think it is much more important to appreciate courage, physical beauty, effort…almost everything else. Everything that you need to put an effort in is more valuable than pure mental intelligence. Yet, it is the most appreciated.

 

In my opinion mental intelligence is overrated.

 

Am I totally out of this world?

[RayKay]

You know that saying, beauty is in the eye of the beholder?

 

Personally, I think it is important that I am attracted to someone I am with, and honestly, I want them to be physically attracted to me as well...however what is attractive is very subjective. I have dated men of all shapes and sizes...physical appearance is part of the attraction, but it is enhanced, or lessened, by personality, compatibility as well.

 

When I was younger, I tried to fit the mold of what I thought was beautiful - I was also anorexic, depressed and extremely low in confidence. As I aged, I learned that beauty is not about a certain physical type, it is about being you, confident in your OWN skin and loving yourself flaws included. I do stay physically fit, and take care of myself inside and out, but that is for ME, because it makes me feel good to move by body and to feel good about myself, not because I am trying to fit an ideal, but because I want to be the best "me" I can be.

 

And when you are confident in your own skin, and stop comparing yourself to others, and FEEL beautiful for YOU, it's an amazing feeling. Others notice it too. I have seen some people with "plain" looks be admired and desired greatly because of their confidence and personality, whereas I have seen some people of "model looks" whom were terribly low in confidence and had difficulty connection with people.

[MollyElise]

I think that if you make beauty your number one priority most people can achieve at least a standard of attractive. On the other hand I think it's ridiculous to make it your #1 priority, there are so many other things out there that I think will be more likely to lead to happiness.

 

Also, beauty is very subjective. I might find somebody attractive that you do not or vice a versa. I think you see this alot in different ethnic groups. For example, I am not physically attracted to asian men and would not be able to point out a handsome one.

[nmduipd]

Thanks so much.

What you're all saying make sense.

I'm trying so hard to look at things as you guys do - it's much healthier

 

I KNOW beauty is not priority 1 – certainly not for me!

 

I KNOW it can be easily compared to intelligence, but I'm under impression that, unlike beauty, intelligence is underrated. There is whole multi million-dollar porn industry based mostly on physical beauty. Have you ever seen a site with all intelligent people there that attract so many people? Plus, intelligence doesn't inevitably fade with years.

 

Even from a personal experience:

I have always valued my intelligence more than my looks. But guess what? People were always responded more to the shape of my legs than to the fact that I work hard, hold masters degree and can pass any IQ test with excellent results.

 

I just thought it's not fair.

[shes2smart]

I just thought it’s not fair.

 

Well, no, I suppose it's not. But life isn't fair. If we have expectations that it will be, we're inevitably disappointed.

 

However, life sure as heck beats the alternative.

 

You don't state your age, but I can assure you as I sit here in mid-life, that over the long haul, being a kind, loving, compassionate person (what I like to call "a decent human being") will get you farther than being the smartest or prettiest.

[Momene]

Maybe I'm getting older but I do appreciate looking at nice looking girls without imagining being in bed with them. I also think that all races have good looking people, although I prefer the Latin type myself.

 

I also find that attitude can make someone more or less attractive as well.

[valiantv]

Why should we appreciate beauty?

Hate to go all scientific on you, but it's evolution! Humans have evolved to rate beauty highly because it is an indicator of good health, and good health increases the chances when passing on your genes to your kids. Also, the ability to attract a mate is essential to propogating your species. And since the key is the first impression, looks are an important thing in attracting a mate, especially since all of our evolving was done before IQ tests were invented.

 

There is whole multi million-dollar porn industry based mostly on physical beauty.

Ahh now...

 

People were always responded more to the shape of my legs than to the fact that I work hard, hold masters degree and can pass any IQ test with excellent results.

The thing is, the first thing people see about a person is their looks. It takes quite a bit of conversation with someone to know that they are intelligent. Furthermore, while a master's degree and the ability to do well in IQ tests may be a good quality for you to get ahead in your own life, for other people, it's more important that you have a sort of emotional intelligence which will help you make other people feel good about themselves and feel good about you. Of course discovering this, too, takes a bit of time of knowing you. The ability to be friendly or charismatic is far more important for relationships with other people than the ability to get a master's degree or do excellent in an IQ test.

 

But when people see you first, of course they judge you by your looks - that's all they know about you.

[Gratsy]

Beauty is wonderful- its art. However, some people take the wonders of beauty and pervert it by creating scales and measurements that they claim some people meet and some people don't. Its a form of oppression. There has to be a way that the appreciation of beauty and even the preference for beauty isn't hurtful...when we come upon that, we'll know the ans. But the appreciation of beauty is too human...its like saying, why do we have sex? why should we eat?

[Gratsy]

Beauty/desirability is often culturally determined. There are some places where certain forms of measurement are more valued over others. For instance, I have a friend who is a very competent mathematician. She would be highly valued among men in her field as a partner, I think, because she shares their passion. She's not as valued wearing a bikini during spring break at daytona beach as some other women I know who would be less valued in the mathmetician's world. I've seen that concept happen often. In Australia, I imagine that they emphasize being athletic, etc., in a lot of the places. It depends on location, sometimes.

[shes2smart]

Please note this thread is over a year old.

 

If you would like to discuss this topic, you'd probably be better off starting a new thread.

 

thanks.

[Froho]

I know this thread is 2 years old, but I was brought to this thread when I googled the words "appreciating beauty".

 

I have always loved nature and appreciated the beauty of it. And by nature I dont mean only trees and plants and what not, I mean everything in the world. I've always wanted to go all over the world and appreciate the beauty everywhere. It has always been my dream/goal in life.

 

But recently, now that I'm with the love of my life, I have realized that when your in love, everything about that person is literally beautiful. Not only physical beauty, but also the way they talk, their voice, their cute laugh, their stature, the way they walk, their smile, and every facial expression the make from sad to angry. To complete my life goal is to see all the beauty in the world, and now that I'm in love, I am able to find all the beauty in the world in one incredible person, who's very presence seems to emit an aura of beauty.

 

Appreciating beauty is what I live for, even if it is physical beauty. So yes, I personally believe that physical beauty deserves to be appreciated.

 

As someone else said in this thread, "Can't faces be considered nature's artwork and deserve admiration?" Absolutely.