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is self injury a personal choice?


dpressedone89
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i have never had the urge to engage in self-injury and i'm still struggling to understand why it has become so popular in the last few years. the only thing i know for sure is that it's something that happy people never do.

 

i find it worrisome because i had a friend who used to feel better after he socked himself in the head a couple of times. eventually it wasn't enough and he ended up scattering his brains on his bedroom wall.

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i have never had the urge to engage in self-injury and i'm still struggling to understand why it has become so popular in the last few years. the only thing i know for sure is that it's something that happy people never do.

 

.

not exactly true, i did it when i was perfectly happy at times, and i believe it is so popular because of emo bands and that girl from the real world glorifying it so much.

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I believe it is popular because alot of people get treated like crap from everyone. And people now cant handle all the bad stuf that happens in there life. And alot of stress like people find it hard to live, to pay the bills and have food in front of them and have a roof over there head

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I think it is most definitely a personal choice, but sometimes there is so much external influence that it isn't really a personal choice... like the poster above has pointed out how much young teens take notice of bands which create these kind of themes.

 

Personally, I was never a cutter or set out to inflict pain to myself... I didn't need to because I was always damaging myself at school or messing around with the other kids the the neighbourhood riding our bikes over rediculous dangerous ramps. Myself personally never saw how physically hurting myself would solve my emotional/psychological problems, they require different remedies. I think these two distinct things need to be separated.

 

PR

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well people have had those problems for along time but the number of people who SI have gone up so much in the last ten years, its like a drug that has just caught on like coke in the 70's/80's

 

if some had enver heard of SI they more than likely wouldnt decide to hurt themselves when they are sad, until they here the idea from elsewhere people say it works.

 

now here is where i disagree with myself because when i was 3 i had no ide what SI was and i headbutted trhough doors walls and windows when i was sad, but i think for the most part its something else influencing them to do it

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dpressedone89: you did it when you were happy? i thought it was done to relieve emotional strain. was i wrong about that?

 

kita: since it doesn't really make people treat you better, help pay the rent or put food on the table, wouldn't eating a spoonful of salt or wearing your underwear inside-out be just as effective and a little less damaging?

 

remember, i'm an outsider to this, so i hope both of you will pardon my questions if they sound stupid.

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The price of what?

 

Everything, food, rent, bills, petrol, etc.

 

kita: since it doesn't really make people treat you better, help pay the rent or put food on the table, wouldn't eating a spoonful of salt or wearing your underwear inside-out be just as effective and a little less damaging?

 

You just stress out alot and nothing just seems to make it go away besides selfharming

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I think so many people self harm now because it's less taboo than it used to be, people talk about it more. Lemme clue ya'll in, it's not just teens, and it's not just today. There's 50+ year olds who are self harming who started when they were children.

 

One of my friends tried it because "everyone said it helped". I think if you haven't done it from childhood on (like me and stitches), you try it sometime and if it works, you keep on doing it.

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You're talking about cutting yourself? or like masochism in a sexual sense? Or just general self abuse? Society allows us to abuse ourselves in certain ways like alchohol and smoking and in some ways we're not allowed like drugs because the affects are judged as too great I guess. If you mean cutting yourself I think it's a combination of being very effective and fashionable and very visible so we get the attention we need. It strikes me as cry for help so- I guess that means its not something that should be allowed to continue.

 

General self harm in a non permanent or sexual sense- ?? As long as your not hurting anyone else.... Knock yourself out!! (not literally- could be dangerous)

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I have experienced it only with my first wife as an outlet for self hate.

 

Abuse, neglect and trauma reduce self esteem. People of low self esteem are more fashion-driven.

 

Thus perhaps it can start as a combination of fashion-driven "choice" and pain relief for (self) hate in the major depressed.

 

In a way, it's seems similar to over/under-eating or substance abuse and can become compulsory as well.

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but in the end, even the self harming isnt helping you any. It only inflicts more internal pain, and it becomes an addicition. Not for nothing from what i have experienced in life, addictions are not a good thing.

 

I am an outsider to this self harm. Physical anyway, chemical is another story.

 

I think it is a choice when it is first done, and later an addiction for coping with lifes stresses. I may be wrong...just trying to understand this a little more.

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kita: since it doesn't really make people treat you better, help pay the rent or put food on the table, wouldn't eating a spoonful of salt or wearing your underwear inside-out be just as effective and a little less damaging?

 

It does make people feel better, at least temporarily. Hurting yourself, whether through cutting, hitting yourself in the head, etc, can make people feel better (possibly because it releases endorphins but maybe other reasons too), and it's an effective (not good though) way to relieve stress.

 

I don't think it's social either. When I was younger I used to do it and I didn't know anyone else who cut themselves too, and hadn't heard of people doing it to themselves either. However the number of young people doing that even compared to 5 years ago has increased dramatically... So I don't know. Words like 'emo' and 'cutter' didn't exist back then or meant something completely different.

 

Anyway, to reply to the OP, I think Kita nailed the answer on the head in that it's like a drug, people chose to do it the first few times but then it becomes an addiction, that's difficult to get over.

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I did it myself a few times during my awful relationship. I was hurting so much inside, couldn't stop crying, my emotions out of control with anger and pain. I cut myself and it was a lot easier to deal with a cut and blood instead of the internal wounds. By the time I've bled a bit, mopped up the blood and put a bandage on it, I had calmed down somehow.

 

Its only a temporary measure though and did nothing for the underlying problem(s).

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I definitly think that it's a personal choice, and shoud not be treated unless the person wants to be. I find it a little bit stupid that we all smoke, inhaling carbon monoxide and giving ourselves lung cancer but it's pretty much acceptable. If you cut yourself, holy **** you're crazy and need to be fixed. It's all the same thing...

 

-E.

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As an ex smoker, I do note that smoking becomes unacceptable on health grounds. Thus it seems interesting that SH/SI is promoted by some as an equivalent alternative.

 

Smoking is compulsory and the attitude in some is I hurt myself, you are welcome to hurt yourself.

 

Sibblings enduring forced marriages seem to feel I had to, you have to.

 

Thus I dare to guess that some of those engaging in SI feel that others should also SI in order to make their (in my eyes unfortunate) habbit acceptable in their own eyes as well as society in general.

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That's crap nottoogreen.

I wrote my post in direct anticipation of your post.

 

I indeed do accept your position, for you SH/SI is just a way of effective attention getting opposition as you believe that people find SH/SI "disgusting".

 

It all is your choice, your freedom, your pain.

 

Enjoy!

 

And I am still not disgusted by SH/SI, only by what causes it.

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