Confusion With Us

[xblondyx]

Hey guys. Hope you are all ok on this extremely boring Sunday!

Just a mini rant here from me. Ok Here goes....

 

Ok, there is this guy, he is my very close friend, also an ex boyfriend. We were close before we started going out and still remain very close even after we finished. We talk like, everyday, about everything.

 

So, on Friday we went to the cinemas together. I knew something would happen because we are both still attracted to each other but don't want to be anything more than just good friends. So yeah, we kissed a lot and he kept putting his arms round me and just looking into my eyes. We were just so comfortable with each other and it was a good night.

 

Last night he came over to mine when my parents were out (they'd go crazy if they knew as my dad hasn't forgiven him for hurting me but that was a long time ago). Anyway we sat and started to watch a film. Of course I knew something would happen. He told me he wanted something to happen.

 

It started with a few harmless kissed. Ended up in us both being naked apart from our underwear on the floor, him on top of me dry humping me lol. It then moved up to the bedroom where we just kissed and lay together hugging and talking. It was good I admit. I know it was wrong but I think we are entering into a FWB relationship. And I like it. I want it!

 

He knows how to please me sexually and he is an AMAZING friend, I don't wanna be more than just mates but we both wanna be together sexually not emotionally. I've thought a lot about this, spoke to a few friends some of whom are dead set against it but other whom say "go for it, you are young have some fun!". I want to go for it.

 

He's invited me over next Sunday for some food and to watch a film. It's totally obvious what will happen 'cos he's already hinted loads.

 

I just wanna know what people think. Is this so wrong when we both want it and know it won't affect our friendship and both know it won't go any further? Should I go for it?

 

Sorry for post being rather long just a lot to get out of my system. Any input would be greatly appreciated

[Sally00]

Why don't you two just go out? Why are ya'll just staying friends?

 

This "friends with benefits" is just gonna hurt you in the long run. You'll get emotionally attached, etc etc. Might as well just go out with the guy.

[DN]

Is this the same guy that you posted about here:

 

If not - maybe you should concentrate on one guy at a time.

[xblondyx]

No 'cos we don't wanna. When we were together we used to fight and argue constantly. We aren't meant to be together. We are too young for commitment. But we wanna be together sexually and go out and have fun, but also be able to meet other people at the same time.

[xblondyx]

Is this the same guy that you posted about here:

 

If not - maybe you should concentrate on one guy at a time.

 

 

 

It's the same guy

[Sally00]

No 'cos we don't wanna. When we were together we used to fight and argue constantly. We aren't meant to be together. We are too young for commitment. But we wanna be together sexually and go out and have fun, but also be able to meet other people at the same time.

What makes you think that sex is going to stop the fighting and the arguing.

[xblondyx]

Well since we split up we haven't fought or argued once. And that's been for over 5 months. We gotton along great. But we both know if we got back together we would both feel claustraphobic again and wanna get out which would hurt us even more. This way we can have sex and be friends but also meet new people.

[majord23]

No 'cos we don't wanna. When we were together we used to fight and argue constantly. We aren't meant to be together. We are too young for commitment. But we wanna be together sexually and go out and have fun, but also be able to meet other people at the same time.

 

 

So, in a few weeks if you ask him to come over to your place and 'have fun' and he says: "Sorry blondy, I'm having fun with someone else tonight"...you'll be ok with that??

 

This guy has had you an emotional rollercoaster for quite a few months now, and I think you're joining the queue to get on that ride again.

 

I'd steer clear and find someone who wants to be with you physically AND emotionally - you are setting yourself up for more heartbreak here, and I think that (deep down) you know it.

[Beyondthesea]

Nope, don't do it. If you are into friends with benefits, something's not quite right. The moment one of you actually finds someone to date, the other will be extreamely jealous and your friendship will end.

 

OR neither of you will ever date anyone else if the fwb thing spreads around.

[majord23]

And blondy, this was a post that you posted in May:

 

Thanks for all of the replies. It seems like a lot of people have different opinions on FWB relationships. I've decided they are not for me, as EH said, i get too emotionally attached.

 

What's changed since then?

[xblondyx]

We won't be jealous. He knows i've got a few dates lined up and I know he slept with another girl a few weeks ago. And if we both find someone else we've both said we will defo stay friends. I've moved on from him emotionally. I won't be that upset.

[xblondyx]

Thanks guys. I respect your opinions. I'll have a good long think.

 

But have any of you guys actually been in a FBW relationship?

[majord23]

Thanks guys. I respect your opinions. I'll have a good long think.

 

Do blondy....and then decide what you want to do.

The advice I've given is based on what I've read from you in the past - although I haven't contributed to many of your threads, I have followed your story.

 

You *should* be having fun at your age - absolutely. In my experience however (and the experiences of those around me) FWB relationships don't generally work when there is a 'history' between the 2 *ahem* 'participants'. And even then, when there isn't a history - one person always seems to become more attached and thus hurt in the end.

 

I'm hoping it's not you babes.

 

Not only that - a FWB arrangement may prevent you from meeting a great guy who is after more than just your body.

[djbeasley]

I agree with majord23... you need to ask yourself if you are ready for the day he starts having sex with other people. He's clearly using you for sex ( and maybe your doing the same) but it always ends somewhere, either with pregnancy, stds, or a broken heart. I see a lot of girls get emotionally attached without realizing it, then whenever the guy gets tired of you, he simply leaves no strings attached. Where does that leave you in the end... simply going around looking for other guys to have sex with to fill the place that he left (just in search of some fun). America has a couple of names for people like that... please dont become one. You seem like a very sweet girl, dont let one guy and a high sex drive ruin who you are.

[coollady1957]

I don't think the FWB thing is a good idea. I think that eventually either one of you will get jealous and upset over the other going out to have fun with someone else. I just think in the big picture of things, it is going to cause trouble sooner or later.

[Beyondthesea]

I just wanted to say that I knew someone who was in a FWB relationship, and I was absolutely disgusted by it. That being said, if I found out someone I was interested in ever did the FWB thing, I would no longer be interested. I just feel that if someone has that shallow of feelings for one person, it will continue to others.

[Momene]

If it's what you both want, that's OK but if one of you wants more from it than the other, it's time to stop.

 

Also a problem if either of you meet someone else.