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Sadness/Depression during summer =(


Solid-
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Hey guys, im 16 and i feel as if i am waste of time. I know this is going to sound very cliche etc, but i've never had a girlfriend, ive never really talked to a girl for REAL, and when i say real i mean a conversation that lasts past 5 min of straight real talking. I only really have about 3 or 4 friends that i relate too outside of school. I live in a society where most of the people are upperclass and very successful, and suffering from what i think is social anxiety or fear of being rejected doesn't help. I do well in school, but i feel that it is nothing if i cant interact with individuals. I look up to my father for everything, even the bad things that he does, ill do myself. Recetnly my father ranted down at me and told me how i will never succed at life and its not even worth it too try because i will just turn up a failure. Im sure your all gonna say that he was upset etc at the moment, but he wasnt and he looked me straight in the eye and told me this. besides this i feel very lonely and depressed because i dont really go out alot and in engage in many social activities. i just play some MMORPGS on my comp, and go to the gym once and a while. Thats my summer. Im known as a really funny kid, but i also feel like im an envious person as well, and i can make friends with almost any male.The one thing that really kills me is that i've never had a conversation/relationship with a girl whatsoever. Ive never actully tried and thats what i think kills me. A peer at school (i was shocked)! asked me why i dont engage in activities with girls etc, cause im a good looking kid! i was shocked! basically ive went off topic now maybe 3 times... main. I really feel that if i was a charasmatic guy with people id be a VERY VERY happy person.

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First off..what your dad told you is terrible! No father should tell their son that. I know you said that you look up to him, but that is definitely not something you should take to heart. You cant just give up on yourself and on life.

 

You also said that you dont try things..then try! You have alot of guy friends, talk to them about this, ask them to hook you up with a girl or go out as a group and have some fun. Dont give up!

 

And if you do wanna have a conversation with a girl for further insight then please, feel free to PM me sometime, seriously!

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Hi Solid,

 

Welcome to eNotAlone!

 

Sorry your dad downs you, he should be kinder but as sad as it is, it's quite common. How is your dad to your mom?

 

Please stay away from RPG, it's *unhealthy*, really *unhealthy* because you drift more and more into a *fake* world wherby you have more and more problems interacting with the *real* world. Have a look at Wicked for ideas on balancing yourself and health and personal growth tips.

 

If you have questions or need help, just ask.

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Got some for talking to guys?

 

I think I'm a good catch. I love sports and video games Just have trouble actually meeting some decent guys!

 

Ha, see, well for girls it's a little bit different. A site won't necessarily help you as much as analyzing what you're actually doing. I did come accross this article which gives this one guy's point of view link removed

 

It really depends on your specific problems. Are you good looking? Cause the better you look, the more attention you'll get. Do a lot of guys approach you? How receptive are you when they strike up a conversation?

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Well, I think I am good looking! I dress attractively too - not too slutty, but not too conservative either. I'm slightly overweight, but I carry it well (ie- curves, not belly).

 

Problem is, I don't get guys my age approaching me. I smile at some, but zip. I do get little old ladies chat me up on the street and older guys chatting to me, but guys my age? Nada. Do I have some weird "DO NOT TALK" sign or something?

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I think you might just be scared to talk to girls. But don't beat yourself over it. Things happen in time. When you meet a girl that you really like I bet that you will get the courage to get it together.

 

As far as your father is concerned. What he said to you is very uncalled for. He should be there trying to help you not bringing you down. If I were you I would just forget about what he says. You seem like you just might be looking for acceptance and you will find it if you give yourself a chance and let people get close to you. There are tons of people who wouldnt mind giving you friendship and to be there for you. Dont let the negative things bring you down and keep trying hard.

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Well, I think I am good looking! I dress attractively too - not too slutty, but not too conservative either. I'm slightly overweight, but I carry it well (ie- curves, not belly).

 

Problem is, I don't get guys my age approaching me. I smile at some, but zip. I do get little old ladies chat me up on the street and older guys chatting to me, but guys my age? Nada. Do I have some weird "DO NOT TALK" sign or something?

 

Smile and make more eye contact. Guys will come up and talk to you if you give them this obvious of a sign.

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You're 16 and haven't had a girlfriend, and you're shy around girls? That's fine... you are so young... there are TONNNS of guys your age like you and you have nothing to worry about. I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 18. Eventually you either grow out of your shyness or you learn to work with it. It takes a lot of practice to become more outgoing, but maybe you should just try "baby steps" in getting over your shyness. Getting a job that forces you to socialize with people of both genders will make you get over your shyness a bit, (I know because it helped me.) Also, set little goals for yourself, like... "I'll say 'hi' to this girl and smile"... or...

"I'll ask her a question about homework"... and when you practice at it and realize that everyone is just like you and you have nothing to worry about, then... you get less shy!

 

Also, about your dad saying that: that's very mean and not true at all; you are young still and there are plenty of people like you. I was very antisocial and shy. Still sort of am, and I'm 19. It's normal; YOU are normal. Shy people can be successful!! And remember that people are told all the time that they can't do things, and they end up doing them. example: a person is told that their band won't be successful, and they become famous. Epic, even. I think a real example of that is The Beatles. ANYWAY!! Good luck, don't feel bad... and work on your shyness! You can do it!

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