Virginity **************

[FoxLocke]

I'm a virgin too! But I am a virgin by choice, not circumstance...lol.

 

I just prefer to wait until I am monogamous due to all the diseases and etc out there...Bed hopping is not a virtue in the new millennium.

 

Furthermore, I just believe that I should love the person that is going to see me naked.

[SquareWheel]

Disclaimer: This post may sound like criticism, but it's not. I'm only asking for an opinion, and maybe trying to inspire some thought. Okay?

 

It seems to me that every time the subject of keeping one's virginity comes up, it's always about keeping your virginity *until marriage*. And I always hear the term "pre-marital" sex (as opposed to simply extra-marital, or non-marital sex). It seems to be assumed that everyone everywhere is going to get married eventually.

 

So in response to questions about preserving virginity until marriage, or references to "pre-marital" sex, I would ask, but what about those of us who don't intend to get married? Do the proponents of virginity-until-marriage expect those of us who don't plan to marry to live sexless lives and die virgins? Or do they feel that marriage is a social imperative and that there's something wrong with anyone who doesn't conform?

 

Again, don't want to sound confrontational, just asking.

 

By the way, I'm still a virgin at 47, and *not* because I want to be. Suffice it to say I was one of those nerdy misfit kids who never developed good social skills or instincts. I'm a nice guy and I think I'm at least decent looking; just wound up being introverted and a bit insecure. You can't imagine what a frustrating and unhappy life it's been, watching everyone else having all the fun and knowing it just wasn't meant to be for me. Maybe I'll start a thread about this sometime, and ask the community whether they think there's still any hope left at my age.

[nottoogreen]

... By the way, I'm still a virgin at 47, and *not* because I want to be. Suffice it to say I was one of those nerdy misfit kids who never developed good social skills or instincts.

To answer your question,

When and if and why is IMHO a personal choice. There should be no pressure whatsoever.

 

IMHO, mariage has to be rethought/redefined as so many issues in this world.

 

As to being a virgin age 47. In a way I am proud of you. You saved yourself a hell of a lot of trouble. As long as you are happy, never mind.

 

One thing I know is on hindsight that giving my virginity to a 43 year old woman age 23 was special, but from a relationship choice perspective it was perhaps 23 years to early - and counting.

[cichlid]

I never cared if I died and never married and was still a virgin. If I die a virgin than oh well...there's much more to life than sex.

[justpaisley]

I waited till I was married, as did my husband, and it's to this day one of the most rewarding decisions of my life!

 

Good for all of you that aren't giving in... Life is so much less complicated, and the rewards on your wedding night and thereafter are so worth it. Congratulations!

[PRSOV]

Virgin.............

[BrokenWingedFaery]

I'm a virgin as well. Not waiting for marriage, but for the right person.

[mandystar]

lol im a virgin cause im like 11 years old.. what is masturbating...?

[BrokenWingedFaery]

Masturbating is touching your genitals in ways that make you feel good .

[mandystar]

oh... nice..

[Aragorn]

I'm just wondering.

 

Who here is a virgin and/or waiting till marriage to have sex?

 

He is my $.02

 

I am a Christian male, 26 now.

 

I always swore that I would keep such a thing till indeed I was married.

 

It was with my first girlfriend (22, who ended up breaking my heart) that I gave it too, and it happens. I can say I wish things were different or that heated moments didn't consume me at the time.

 

So I would say those who are waiting, continue to do so.

 

NOT saying it isn't tuff, especially when you may have known someone for a while (if not years) and you do love them for sure...

 

 

Matt

[Sally00]

NOT saying it isn't tuff, especially when you may have known someone for a while (if not years) and you do love them for sure...

Yeah. I didn't have my first time of wanting to try sex until I was with the b/f I have now. We were friends for over a year before we started dating. I know him well and we love each other very much. So, it can be tough sometimes. But I've got will power.

[vandgsmom]

Due to events outside of my control, I was no longer a virgin at age 10, and as a result was mildly promiscuous in HS. After I got myself together and was getting married, he told me he was a virgin. I felt very humbled that he saved that for me, but forever after that point if there was any instructive comments that I made in the bedroom, he got mad and threw his virgin innocence in my face. He would tell me he was sorry he hadn't screwed 2 women before we got married like I had men so he would know what to do...

OUCH.

 

This whole off-topic ramble (that was for you nottogreen) is only to maybe ask those that have made that very wonderful choice to save it to just be a little gentle with their future partners feelings. Just because we had sex dosen't mean we don't wish we waited for you too, don't make us feel more stupid than we already do just because you weren't...

 

Ok, done with the tangit....

[nottoogreen]

Due to events outside of my control, I was no longer a virgin at age 10...

 

Sad about that. My first love too.

 

This whole off-topic ramble (that was for you nottogreen) is only to maybe ask those that have made that very wonderful choice to save it to just be a little gentle with their future partners feelings. ...

 

Sorry, I think we have a misunderstanding. lilac_indi understood. My reference to myself rambling was wrt to the frequent abuse of women in some cultures along the lines of forced marriage and such.

 

Please look up lilac_indi's threads. And please read my posts in this thread again as I feel that I fully concur with you in all aspects.

 

 

[vandgsmom]

Whoops-- I bow to the Lord of the Threads...

[blueeyeguy]

im not a virgin but i want a girl that is a virgin.......i can treat her better than any guy has ever even tried to treat her and i could wait as long as they wanted to no problem........ oshgoshbajosh33 is my aim name hit me up talk to me sumtime im 20 yrs old and would like sum1 to talk to....been hurt by many girls

[Chan209]

Just wanted to commend those in here that are waiting. It's hard to find people like that nowadays....either that or I just haven't met them yet.

[blueeyeguy]

very hard im sik of all these girls tat just dont respec themselves and * * * *

[sweet_bebcho]

I was 20 when i lost my virginty. I put it down to my mother who would strike fear into our hearts if we even looked at her funny. We couldnt look at boys, even talk ablout them.She found my diary once and read it, lets just say that I'm glad to still be alive. She is old fashioned and she thought that once a young girl had a boyfriend it would lead to unwanted pregnancy and us dropping out of school. let just say we had the typical''caribbean'' upbringing. I remember at 15 when my other friend were off experimenting and they'd tell us about it at lunch time and my other 'sheltered' friend and i would just scratch our heads, no idea what the everyone else was on about. It was to the extent that if you looked closely enough you would have seen the yellow question marks hovering above our heads

 

In the end i lost it to a guy i was just seeing because i was bored and i just wanted to get it over with. It was really bad. i remember we were listening to Coldplay and i was thinking, hmm i thought that this was supposed to hurt? At one point outof boredom. i changed postion so i could see what was on t.v. Anyway, in the end i regretted it, i guess it is better when you do finally lose it that its with someone that you feel strongly about and vice versa.

 

More power to those of you who are still virgins. There is nothing wrong with it. At the end of the day. Its your choice.

[sweet_bebcho]

Yup, it sure is messed up. Some countries have it worst, esp. those in the middle east where the girl has to wait to get marry else they killed her or the sheet was to be with blood on the wedding, now that's more messed up.

 

I heard that too, i didn't bleed my first time. i dont know why i just didnt. those poor girls . i always feel sorry for them when i hear stuff like this.

[celticghirl]

i am a virgin and proud. i am saving myself not necessarily for marriage but someone i know i love very much and who i can see myself with for a long time...

 

ailec raised a very interesting point. its sad to hear that girls in those middle eastern countries have to go through soo much cruelties.

[canonman]

I felt very humbled that he saved that for me, but forever after that point if there was any instructive comments that I made in the bedroom, he got mad and threw his virgin innocence in my face.

 

I think he was wrong to do that. It's important to talk openly about what you like, or what you would like in bed. I think he probably just felt you were speaking from experience, (and so it was a reminder to him that you have a sexual past and he doesn't). Some guys can't handle that, especially if they waited. You used the word "instructive", so much depends on how something is said, for the way it is received. I would want my wife to tell me how I can change this or that, etc. to please her in bed, but not to tell me what her favorite sexual positions are on our wedding night. See what I mean?

[Sally00]

Ok.... I am very much in love with my boyfriend now. We know each other very well, as we have been good friends for over a year. Now we've been dating for 6 months. We talk about marriage and everything. He is the one I want to give myself to. But... I am still waiting till marriage (after college).

[Confessoress]

Not meeeee.

 

Is there something wrong with not being a virgin? I've been in 3 serious relationships, 2 of which lasted 3 years each. I slept with them. And my current boyfriend who I've been with 1 year. Now, I admit I wish I'd only slept with my current BF because he's the one I want to be with the rest of my life... but I can't change the past. So there we have it.

[vandgsmom]

Oh, no. The "instructive comments" were given about 3 months into our marriage on and were more along the lines of "umm, could you do that bit just a little longer... and maybe if you would lie back and then let me, etc..." He just was sensative and I guess so was I.

 

I am so proud of the people here that are wearing their choice like a badge, though. If I was a virgin, I don't think I would be as courageous in sharing it.