Help get rid of my pain

[dude69]

Hi guys,

I desperately need some councleing. Heres the short part of the story.

 

I was with my g/f for 2 years before she broke up with me. I was to mature for her she said, she was abit younger then me (2years) but that didnt change how much i loved her. She was right, we were in two different parts of our lives.. mine being more towards wanting to settle down abit and hers is all about drinking partying, smoking the most drugs and popping pills. I for one was never for that and she didnt do anything other then drinking/partying while she was with me and that was ok because i was always there to make sure she was ok even if i was also drunk.

 

Anyway so she broke up with me about a month ago now and well I wasnt expecting it, we broke up 2 times before that but got togerther within two weeks. This time is different and i really thing its the real thing. After a month you would think i would be over her by now right ? well ive been hurting since the day she broke up and shes always been the first and last thing i think about during my day. I accept the fact that we wont be togerther anymore but the pain is still there. This is not my first g/f but its my longest relationship. When I first starting seeing my ex g/f she was a virgin and well i was her first.

 

Anyway let me get to the point of this whole text, well i just want to stop hurting for her... my life has been so since and nothing is the same. I feel hurt all the time and i just want it to stop. One thing i know would stop it all is if she slept with another guy. As much as i dont want her to sleep with anyone, i really just want to get on with my life and i think its the only way I will get over her.... as much as it will hurt me at first, i think it would be better to hurt alot for a couple of days then to keep imagining what she is doing and if she is sleeping with a guy at the very second as i am writing this text. The reason why i think about her sleeping with other guys so much is due to the fact that she was a nympho ( always wanted to ) and all i can picture is her being like that with another guy.

 

I have been keeping myself busy, been hanging around with friends, with other girls but I dont think i will ever find someone as good as my ex g/f was and i guess thats what hurts the most.

 

im pretty determined to the fact that knowing that she slept with another guy will make my pain go away in just a few days instead of a few months or even years.

 

Anyway guys thank you for taken your time to listen to me ramble and for those who leave me some tips,feedback i really appreciate it.

 

-John

[shamus]

welcome to ena!

 

i was dumped by my ex months ago. the pain will get better it does take time. From time to timei think of my ex, hope she is well, but we were not right for each other. seems you guys fit that as well.

she wants to party, you dont.

how old are you? some things in your post make me think you are young...if so, dont look to settle down just yet.

anyway, i started dating a new girl last month, things are so much better, and I could see us together for a long time.

best advice is just keep yourself busy.

you will have good days and bad days.

honestly, it will probably be a few months before healing really takes effect. time is all you can trust on.

get out, date, go to gym, hang with friends. rediscover yourself. cry if you need to. post here.

there's nothing that can truly take the pain,it just gets less and less, and acceptance finally will come into play. eventually she will be just a memory, someone from your past. that doesnt mean you forget them, you just have a new chapter in your life.

it may help to write down negative things about her, do it objectively. right now you still see things about her through rose colored glasses.

 

be strong. live for yourself

[dude69]

hi and thanks for your reply, i am 19 years old. When i mentioned settleing down i ment it more towards a way of being more mature. I have a very good job making over 100k a year and it should double or triple in the years to come. I am very lucky to have such a job and well, i dont know many people my age who make close to that ( not to brag or anything ). Yes I do work alot but she never understood that the reason why ive worked alot was to get to where i am and not worry to much about money when im older. Back to what i ment about settling down, i ment it more towards a way of stop using drugs everyday. I personaly only smoked in my life but i never did anything like x or speed.

 

Also its not the fact that i dont like to party, but with her being 17 that makes her under the legal age (18 is the legal age ) and well.. there isnt to many places we can go out togerther which will let her in , if any at all.

 

I feel abit better this morning but i know there will be some more hard times in the future.

 

Thanks alot guys