She just gets more confusing

[mustang67]

I posted a few times here and I wanted to thank everybody for their advice and support. My wife got a tattoo of the guys name she has been with, less just a month now. But she still won't answer me questions that I want answered. I asked her if she still loves me she won't answer, she still has her wedding ring on, and she won't sort out our stuff like the kids clothes, toys, photos etc. I asked here why she is stalling she says I just can't do it with you. I got one friend saying she still cares thats why she doesn't want to do it and she thinks she just wants to be free right now, sow here oats or something. I have been concentrating on my kids first and foremost. As for the tattoo I told her that was the biggest mistake and she said I could I always change it to Mckenna's name. Thats our youngest daugther and the guys name is ken. Should I take the ring off and give up all hope [something I really don't want to do] or should I just sit back a see what happens and if she wants to come back cross that bridge when it comes. If you r a woman please try to think what she is thinking because I am confused completely.

[kellbell]

Hi mustang,

 

I remember your story. I am so sorry. No she does not care and is not stalling for those reasons your friend stated. She wants all the power, wants to hold all the cards and keep you in check. Pretty heartless if you ask me.

 

I would not comment on what she does for now on. I know, it is hard not to but you need to focus on yourself now. Go over the house and sort the stuff yourself. You do not need her. You are entitled to get your things. Again I am so sorry about what has happened. I truly hope things look up real soon.

[mustang67]

but why keep me in check, if she wants it to be over why doesn't she tell me no I don't love you anymore and take the ring off.

[RayKay]

She has no intention on coming back, unless she gets so down on her luck she needs you to fall back on. And honestly, that's a really lame reason and YOU do not deserve to be the fall back man.

 

Her reasons for doing it at this point really don't matter, or excuse her behaviour. As your wife, and as your children's mother, she has responsibilities and cannot be "sowing her oats" whenever she feels like its.

 

Time to move forward my dear, and contact a lawyer for yourself to start getting things in order. Do NOT let her control how things happen in your life, this is affecting you and your kids and it matters that YOU take some power back.

[brando]

I believe in POP PYSCHOLOGY this is referred to as Walkaway Wife Syndrome.

 

COncentrate on healing, and getting past this. If you haven't talked to a lawyer now may be a good time.

 

You need to stop the emotional divorce prior to the legal divorce, and it does not look good from what you told us.

 

Does she even deserve you now? Would you be able to live with her if she came back, knowing what she has done????

 

 

best of luck.

[fishrrshortae]

Mustang -

You have posted a LOT about your wife. The bottom line is, she is as confused as hell and you have to do what you can to NOT let it affect you and the kids. Don't let her come around unless it's to chat with the kids. Don't talk to her unless it's about the kids. Stay out of her misery, it's not worth it. And find an attorney to get the divorce going. Nobody deserves what you are going through, and she is being horribly uncaring about you and your kids' feelings.

[fishrrshortae]

P.S. Her saying she could just change her tattoo to mckenna as kind of an afterthought shows just how she's NOT making your kids a priority, she's too busy having her fling.

[saltwatergirl]

Agree with others..she wants to keep you with a glimpse of hope in your mind, this way you are still going to be there if her current thing doesn't work out. She doesn't want you to move on cause she might be back. If she changes her mind and decides she doesn't want to be single, she can come back because you are still there. I'm leaving, but stay here and wait because I might be back. You're the cushion for the possible fall. This is what she's doing. No doubt.

 

What do you want to do in that case? Wait? Leave? That's the current decision for you, not what her intentions are because those are crystal clear.

 

Salt