Still want to be with my ex

[Riggz41510]

I enjoy spending time with a particular young lady. She wants me for the long haul. I am not sure if that's what I want. I'm wondering if its because I am not over my ex?

 

I am so depressed at times she wants to have sex and I physically can't get erect. I know I can't make my ex come back, but it's the fantasizing over what she is doing and who she is with. that drives me crazy!!

 

My biggest fear is when she meets someone new and she feels that the relationship is all so much better. Well of course it would seem that way because chances are you wont live together. When you live together the expectations in relationships are set so much higher. I suggested living apart before and she flipped out..

 

So yeah of course if you get some new guy who hangs out with you 2-3 times a week and you have no expectations of him, its going to seem like he is making you happy. Try living with him and I bet you sing another note.. I'm just venting.. * * * *!!!! I miss that girl so much.. Love sucks * * *!!

[annie24]

do you think you are over your ex?

[Riggz41510]

NO!!! Not at all..

 

The new girl makes me feel OK when I am with her, but I still find myself thinking about my ex..

 

I think I am crazy because the new girl is so freaking great.. I mean you name it she does it.. Last year Thanksgiving I was alone she came to my house cooked me a Thanksgiving dinner and then left and went to her family. I was so impressed..

 

I wish there was a button I could push to make her mean as much too me as my ex did.. Lord knows she deserves it!!!

[annie24]

if you don't think you have a future with her, maybe it's best if you let her go....?

[Riggz41510]

I didn't think I had a future with my ex until after she gave birth to my child!!

 

DO most people get into relationships thinking this person is "the one"? I on the other hand have never thought that.

[annie24]

I didn't think I had a future with my ex until after she gave birth to my child!!

 

DO most people get into relationships thinking this person is "the one"? I on the other hand have never thought that.

 

no, I don't either.

 

my last boyfriend said something similar to what you said. he said that he thought I was great, smart, funny, has a good time with me, but... didn't feel the spark and needed to break up. I asked him to reconsider, he said it doesn't work that way, if he could change the way he feels, he would.

 

anyways, now I am glad we broke up because I see he wasn't the one for me.

 

how long have you been dating this girl? if you've been dating her long enough to know for sure that she is NOT the one, then let her go.... you don't have to be sure that she IS the one, just saying, if you know that this woman isn't who you want to be with, then let her go and let her find a man who will appreciate her and be head over heels about her.

[Riggz41510]

Do you really know what makes you happy????

 

I hear the term thrown around so much "well she wasn't happy" or "I guess you didn't make her happy". I mean how long does that "happiness last" there are going to be ups and downs in a relationship so of course you will not always be happy.

 

I have a theory on why the divorce rate is so high. People have a fairytale in their own minds on how a relationship should be and if it doesn't play out the way their minds fantasize it too be, then they run..

 

So you think you got a new guy and he is "oh so great" maybe he really is but does he really know you or are you in love with the way he presents himself to be. What about after the honeymoon phase? if you were creeping around with him, of course it would seem perfect you guys have no reason to argue, no reason to fuss and fight..

[Riggz41510]

I have never felt anyone was the "one"..

 

I have know her for almost 10 years. She was a rebound after I broke up with my ex the first time..

 

I'm just wondering if I should go with the flow and see where it takes me..

[annie24]

I agree. I think you are on to something....

[Turbo]

I can semi see where you're coming from. I'm a similer situation.

 

I recently broke up with my ex of two years. Three months later I got with someone else. I know he loves me, wants to be with me, and have a future today. I love him but I'm not entirely sure if I'm in love with him. I love the idea of being together and having a family but that's just who I am.

 

I still find myself thinking about my ex a lot. I'm not over him and everyone knows that, it's very obvious. I'm trying to move on, but it's hard.

 

I guess sometimes you just need to realise that it may hurt and you aren't over them completely, you just may have a future with the other woman and you don't want to pass up an opportunity like that only to have a bunch of what if's later on down the road.

So you think you got a new guy and he is "oh so great" maybe he really is but does he really know you or are you in love with the way he presents himself to be. What about after the honeymoon phase? if you were creeping around with him, of course it would seem perfect you guys have no reason to argue, no reason to fuss and fight..

 

Hmm, that's true.

[renaissancewoman101]

But honestly, if you are not over your ex and still thinking about your ex, dont lead the new girl on. She is probably very into you and thinks you are into her and wants to do the world for you. If you are still hooked up on your ex, you are going to make your new girl the rebound person and no one wants to be a rebound person for anybody.

 

If I were you, I would tell her how you feel, that you "like" her and all that, but that you are still NOT completely over your ex and you may not be that INTO her.

 

That way she can choose whether she wants to wait it out with you, or find a new guy.

[PRSOV]

It appears that you are "settling" for this girl because you are still not over your previous girlfriend.

 

It would be unfair to lead her on, especially when your heart totally isn't in it as much as hers. I think you need some space/time to yourself to fully move on from your ex girlfriend so you can fully put everything into your next relationship.

 

Also I think sometimes that even when you start a relationship you have an idea if they are "the one" especially if you have been friends for a long time, not if you just launch straight into dating each other.

 

PR

[Rabican]

I think it would be near impossible to fully commit, or really make it work with someone if your heart is still either broken, or belonging to someone else. if this new girl is cool, give her a chance, but maybe try to take things slow. Its not fair to her to crush her now, or later because you are hung up on your ex. Just try to be fair to the new girl, but make sure whatever you do is for YOU.