Consciousness Ends Pain

[blueangel]

I think that this life really is a test. God or whatever put us in this race as a test to see who will stop and finally ask, "Wait. Where are we all going?"

 

Most of what's happened in my life does not matter to me anymore. It's what I've learned from it that makes up the essense of who I am now. I have let go everything else.

 

And I've learned a wonderful lesson recently: human consciousness is at its highest when we tune IN the moment of now and become aware in a different way. The mind travels through the frames of time- past and future. But our souls exist here. Now. The mind and the soul thereforeeee need to unite to become at peace. Silence the thoughts and expand your awareness into highest consciousness. Enjoying your consciousness is the best and easiest way to release your pain and rather to feel love instead... for love can most be felt when we are one with our feelings... expanding ourselves from our simple thoughts... you know, into what's deeper about life... in the MOMENT! I'm not saying to enjoy what darkness is around you, but rather- the light of yourself.

 

There's a quote I came accross recently that goes, "Why are we born into the world with clenched fists and leave it with outstretched fingers?..." I never read the answer to that. I didn't want to. My own answer is that we do so because: the younger we are, the more we hold on with dear life what we have (even if only ourselves- especially in new surroundings like an infant does) and the older we get, the more we let go. We let go because in the end, we have learned to love life.

 

I can honestly say anymore that I love life. Even when it's empty and sad and deceiving. I love it because it is bigger than me. I can only use it to grow myself. I can only grow when I stand still and really take a look at all I have.

[perfectliljewel]

i have a VERY hard time beiliving your 15.... thats pretty deep.

[blueangel]

Being alone for 15 years can have a great affect on you, I guess. I've been driven to find God for a long time. It's made me see more. Books help. Learning is the most important thing in the world- even when it comes only in silent understandings. I am thankful for who I am.

[blueangel]

Plus I've been trying this thing called Self Therapy. It's when you love and think for yourself. Simple, yet difficult for many. I've also become very organized recently. I want to understand a lot of things before I just decide a career path. I need to know where I am going. I need to take a stop in this "race."

[JJRadical]

I have found that unconsciousness tends to end pain but hey, thats just me...

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

That post reminded me greatly of Buddhist philosophies.

 

As in - all we have is NOW, so nothing else really matters. Buddhist monks don't bother making up fires for the morning - they don't assume they will wake up.

 

Forever being aware of and anticipating death seems to make people embrace living.

 

Theoretically.

[Spugly Fuglet]

HUmm as a Teoist I would make up the fire but still assume I would not wake up

[talo]

Wonderful post Blueangel. Thank you.

~~

I have found that unconsciousness tends to end pain but hey, thats just me...

 

Yes, unconsciousness, pain, is "just me". Eckhart Tolle in his book "The Power of Now" talks of "the pain body"; the pain body being me.

 

Feeling is just feeling. Feeling is not 'putting anything on top of' feeling, moment to moment. Putting anything on top of feeling is pain. What turns feeling into pain is thought. Feeling is not putting any personal thought into/onto feeling. Putting personal thought into/onto feeling is emotion.

 

If we just leave feeling as feeling it is no problem. Leaving feeling as feeling does not mean 'doing nothing about feeling'. Feeling is 'what we are'. Feeling is being. Acting with feeling is acting and not reacting. Reacting is reacting with emotion.

 

Emotion is essentially a thought reaction to feeling. It is not feeling, it is a form of unconsciousness, it is essentially me.

[talo]

Forever being aware of and anticipating death seems to make people embrace living.

 

Theoretically.

 

Being aware is not anticipating anything. Being aware is 'understanding what is coming', 'understanding what this leads to'. Understanding this is not anticipation, not theory. This is understanding.

 

If one truly anticipates death, one is already 'dead'. Such a one is truly living, not seeming to embrace living. Truly living is no different than truly dying.

 

Where are you when really absorbed in something...

[Daddy Bear]

human consciousness is at its highest when we tune IN the moment of now and become aware in a different way.

 

thanks for the important reminder. it's always a pleasure to come accross your posts.

[Siraf]

I know exactly what you mean...I just wish my mind wasxn't trapped in the past so much...I'm just so tired....

[blueangel]

It only worked for me once... I was going through so much fear and tumult that day that I just layed in bed and... stared at my hands to watch them move... they felt separate from me and I silenced my brain and caused this feeling of terror to come over me...

 

You see, since a traumatic event, I've been most afraid of this feeling of something coming over me... watching me... waiting to give a visit... and when I silenced my brain, I layed there giving myself to my worse fear of that kind of vulnerability. But... telling myself that all there is is NOW, made me realize that if nothing is happening NOW, nothing ever will. It stripped away that piece of me to small layers which still dangle from time to time on my heart... but I'm doing better now. It's helped me not to stress or worry or attach myself too much to my fears... but remind myself that I am separate and above and a part of something bigger and beautiful

 

Like I said though, it didn't last. I couldn't get it back. It's like... that full feeling of silencing through my soul served its purpose and will only be that strong again when I need it. Until then... I'm back to my self and my problems. It's difficult to figure out what to do with myself sometimes because my energy feels so low... a little too relaxed... and I find myself doing a lot of self neglect things. I don't enjoy myself easily. It's like... there is always some goal... something I need to learn...

 

I can't go long without watching TV and if I had the internet at home, I'd be on it constantly. It's like... internally, I'm in a hole... a fallen tunnel between who I am and who I want to be. I can't seem to get rid of either desires. Because of that... it really is like, "What do I do with myself NOW?" The Now doesn't give me much answers... but it does make me feel available to hear God for once.

[blueangel]

God speaks the most through what we feel. But what feelings are the truest? I feel urges, a calling to do something with myself but it takes so long to get such independence to turn around my life (15 is a hard age)... because there is so much in my house to deal with... I can't stand when things aren't simple in my lifestyle and more routine to who I am.

 

I want to wake up early in the morning. I want to exercise. I want to eat fruits and healthy things. I want to live by a beach and woods and garden. I want everything to be cleaned and not cluttered and only the essentials and most cherished carried with me in my house. If I don't have my own space... I get so lost... it's like I need a place that says "Sarah"... like a reminder... louder than my own head. I want to write. I want to dress strong, classy, natural with a glow...to be a rolemodel. I want to start things... start ideas... reach others... I just don't know how to start. I can't seem to find the energy to be all that I am inside... which gives me tumult. It's like being locked in a place so unfamiliar to just wander around until you get the key to unlock the door and walk your way out. I wish I had mantras on my wall. Reminders. A person to care even. It would be so nice. I have big dreams. I want to write. I want to create. I want to be...

 

That's why I feel like I'm looking for someone. A person named Gavin is so amazing to me but so far away...in another country... and that's the most of a guy I've met... I cant imagine anyone else more like me... open and artsy and all that. I want to share myself. I feel like that's the first step to getting anywhere. I feel like I need support, another place or person to go to to BREAK OUT.

 

Sigh. First things first. I need to work out and master my beauty products (I have so little!) and then learn as much as I can in school and be organized... but ahh!- my homelife is not organized. I have a puppy that clings to me, a mom that is scattered and not helpful, then a stepdad who shows no interest only sternness... then a dad who acts emotionally withdrawn from me and superficial with me... and a new stepmom who is so tense that I am so uncomfortable... my friends... well, I've left them behind. Let's just say they didn't exactly bring out the best in me.

[blueangel]

Gah! Do you see how I think? It's like I can't stop.

 

... How does one reach a path they can walk on? Why am I so blocked from my needs?

 

My mind says: there has to be a lesson... look to spirituality. There has to be logic to why nothing works

My heart says: stop! I'm being killed! We can't get there yet! Find something else

My body says: I'm tired. I feel like I'm already trying so hard... even though more energy is possible, I just want to rest MORE!

 

I do need rest, I think. I need peace. I need time... more than just acting in a trance in the NOW at my surroundings (as meditative spirituality seems to mean). I need periods of time of peacefulness WHILE still being active in my life. Can I give myself it? That seems the toughest. I DO attach myself to too many worries... I used to call them goals... but really, they ARE worries.

 

You see, I feel like I can get anywhere. My insides just can't take me there. It's tired. Planning seems hopeless because doing takes forever. What do I be? What do I be? What do I be? That's what my soul is caught shouting.

[blueangel]

Time to stop resisting myself. I'm tired of my present neglecting. So my knowledge can be more adult as such my depth... but wisdom hears the heart first. Perhaps I'm looking too much to the outside.

 

Hah! I've learned once again the very lesson I tried posting here as this topic. Wow- weird what a circle learning weaves. Now... hopefully I can stay in this mindset. hehe there's that word again. NOW...

[jimpster2005]

I understand your point about living in the NOW, and have done some reading on this subject myself. However, I still think that it's important to live with an eye on the future and an eye on the past. Only with this outlook can you decide whether what you do NOW will help you reach where you want to be in the future, or whether it will lead to repetition of mistakes that you've made in the past.

 

Also, I thing you need to start thinking less and doing more! Easier said than done though I can tell you

[talo]

I understand your point about living in the NOW, and have done some reading on this subject myself. However, I still think that it's important to live with an eye on the future and an eye on the past. Only with this outlook can you decide whether what you do NOW will help you reach where you want to be in the future, or whether it will lead to repetition of mistakes that you've made in the past.

 

As seen here, living with an eye on the future and past is still living now. Living now is living one's feeling now. If one 'follows' one's feeling now (not one's emotion) one will naturally be 'where one wants to be' in the future.

[Gecko]

I can identify with SOOO much of what you say, blueangel.

 

If nothing else, I just wanna give you a hug and let you know you're not completely alone with these thoughts.. reason being I don't think I could add to what you have already described so articulately.

 

((blueangel))

[blueangel]

I can identify with SOOO much of what you say, blueangel.

 

If nothing else, I just wanna give you a hug and let you know you're not completely alone with these thoughts..

 

((blueangel))

 

Thanks. I felt better once I finished writing all of that. It's like I get into my own little "PLanet Sarah" sometimes. It's like... I can be scared of the outside world. I'm afraid of what it will do to me if I take on no control. I've noticed that I pull away often... even when I'm getting along with people... to try to be separate from them in some way. I have a fear of identifying myself with others because I can lose my true self if I think they are better in personality. Ever since I was little, I've had a need to be special. After all those years of trying, I'd forgotten my true intentions and just kept snowballing such a lifestyle of separateness. I am really afraid. I can't even look people in the eyes. It's so...strange. I mean, I soak up any moments of love from others (as little as a guy checking me out) like rays of happiness to keep me going... but do nothing to deepen the love in my life. I just let it reside as I falter in front of my footsteps... still going that same path. Connecting with people seems more difficult the older I get because I HAVE become so independently ME.

 

I think now that I really do know me (or at least a lot more about things), I'm ready to have a better life... but not involving myself truly in my life for so long has made me feel lost in my conquest... so I lose myself even more in all these goals.

 

Wow! That was like therapy for me.

[blueangel]

As seen here, living with an eye on the future and past is still living now. Living now is living one's feeling now. If one 'follows' one's feeling now (not one's emotion) one will naturally be 'where one wants to be' in the future.

 

I hope I never talk like that! No offense! It's just so... formal? Kind of cold.

[Gecko]

I've noticed that I pull away often... even when I'm getting along with people... to try to be separate from them in some way. I have a fear of identifying myself with others because I can lose my true self if I think they are better in personality.

 

Yeah.. I also tend to avoid identifying myself with any one group/person for the fear of narrowing my mindset, among other things..

[blueangel]

Yeah.. I also tend to avoid identifying myself with any one group/person for the fear of narrowing my mindset, among other things..

 

That could be actually a very good thing, as far as I know it.

[Gecko]

I think so too, except when it becomes extreme and gets in the way of participating in groups/activities that would give me something to do instead of just sitting around.

 

I'm trying to work with that right now, trying to convince myself that I'm conscious enough to not fall into a trap that I can't get out of. If anything I can learn from these people around me, whether I agree with/identify with them or not

[Caldus]

I really don't think there is any kind of testing going on, but deep post nonetheless. It is great to see younger people on here with such deep thoughts. It's honestly quite refreshing.

[blueangel]

I think so too, except when it becomes extreme and gets in the way of participating in groups/activities that would give me something to do instead of just sitting around.

 

I'm trying to work with that right now, trying to convince myself that I'm conscious enough to not fall into a trap that I can't get out of. If anything I can learn from these people around me, whether I agree with/identify with them or not

 

You can only know if you try! If you want to prevent mistakes, make a mantra or a set of values to live by or something of that sort that will cause you to be stronger in decisions with the respect you have for yourself. My mantra is: Carry Yourself Strong. My set of values revolve around "choose only love", "never judge", "let yourself be special and unique by being YOU" and "love to learn" and "you don't need to be them to fit in." That last one really helped me actually.