Trying not to txt the ex right now.....

[sprocc]

Okay just a very brief post, mostly just to get out what im thinking!

 

Im home alone on a friday night and feeling quite bored and of course i get the urge to txt my ex (we're in different citys at the moment so no worry here about asking him to come over - altho i doubt that he would anyway)

 

Am really trying hard not to txt because it won't accomplish anything and have had 3weeks without talking to him so would like to keep that up but just trying to keep myself occupied here...

 

Why is the temptation so great?!

i don't even know what i'd say.... life is strange sometimes!

[friscodj]

You want to text him because you miss him, and you miss talking to him. That's normal...but still difficult nonetheless...

 

Just really resist the urge to do it. Believe that if you do it, you are only making things worse...

 

And I heard a funny story one time. A girl didn't want to text her ex so she gave half of her phone to one friend and the other half to the other...desperate times call for desperate measures...

[PRSOV]

Hi there sprocc,

 

I completely sympathise with your feelings...

 

Where I am now it is friday night, it's cold... and I really want to talk to my ex. As much as I know I could call her and chat, I know it wouldn't do me emotionally any good. It just wouldn't be healthy. This is part of my natural progression to moving onto the next stage of my healing proccess.

 

What were the details of your break up?.. Was it on bad terms?.. Do you see there being any change of getting back together with your ex boyfriend in the future.

 

Just remember your number one priority at the moment is yourself.

 

Regards,

 

PR

[REDIRECT43]

I once took some depserate measures to prevent myself from calling an ex. I changed my number!

[PRSOV]

I once took some depserate measures to prevent myself from calling an ex. I changed my number!

 

... And that stopped you from calling/texting your ex because?

[robowarrior]

Personally i would go out and back into the dating game if you have nothing to do anyway, and replace your ex-love with a new love.

[Goldfish6888]

Thats easier said than done. But seriously try and not text your ex. I've been doing the NC thing now for about a month. He's sent me two emails...one trying to get back in with me and the other basically saying he could not imagine a life without not talking to me again. But I'm remaining strong on the NC. I feel much stronger and if I talk to him....it will bring me back where I started. It's like a game of snakes and ladders (do you know this one?) You throw the dice....move forward a few spaces, but if you get a snake you have to slide down a couple of space back. Two steps forward and one step back........ Try to keep moving forward. Thats what I'm trying to do...even though the email he sent me at 5am this morning, is burning a hole in my inbox...

 

Kia kaha

Goldfish

[PRSOV]

So you don't believe people ever make mistakes is relationships?

 

How many people break up? get back together and make it work the second time around?

 

We all know how difficult it can be at times not to contact your ex, especially on those lonely nights in.

 

What a positive community we all are hehe

 

PR

[sprocc]

Thanks for the support guys

 

But yea the break up turned out to be pretty messy - it's a very long story but the latest is that i went 3months without contacting him at the start of the year, saw him one day and then ended up in bed with him the next night..... not a good idea as we fought once again and parted on bad terms - this has happened 1 other time since then and i know theres no chance of getting back together

 

It just makes me feel stupid because i let him use me and then i feel like crap the next day - and the thing is i know this will happen everytime! silly huh.....

 

oh well... hopefully next time he tries to initiate something i'll be strong enough to say no

 

but on a positive note - i didn't txt him last night!

[friscodj]

but on a positive note - i didn't txt him last night!

 

Nice!

 

Take it one night at a time. Expect the worst when it comes to temptation and pain, actually, expect worse than the worst. Then when it turns out to be not as bad, the relative difference between what you expected and what actually happened makes the situation seem not so bad.

 

And then wake up the next day, clap your hands and say to yourself, "Man, I got through that? I am tough enough to do this!"

[ReallyHurt]

Everytime I saw my phone, I would get the urge to call or text. I gave it to my sister for safekeeping. That helped a lot.

[sprocc]

Good idea!

 

You'll never believe it but after all that he txt me last night....... wasn't the longest convo though because he was just after a number and i didn't exactly feel the need to drag it out any longer than necessary

[ForAnother]

Next time he txts you. Don't respond...

 

Every time that I felt an urge to call, i got in the shower. The shower helped me cry without feeling the water on my cheeks... for some reason the feeling of water on my cheeks makes me want to cry more because it reminds me almost how pathetic i can be at times... hehe. I'd suggest getting in a habit for when you want to contact him. Like maybe go outside and swing on a tree (that worked too, go out swing on a tree and rip my palms open, which in turn created some calouses... dunno why but that helped. Taking a shower. If i was watching the TV, i'd turn it off... then try and flip it on and off as fast as i can. I also would change where i was sitting, so my view changed so i would re-examine my surroundings. Its small things that keep you busy thinking elsewhere.

 

Best of luck, its hard, but its do-able... just remember that. You are capable of not contacting for a year... its just how much do you want to move on... sometimes we don't want to... you just have to teach yourself to want it.