He Called Me The Wrong Name!!!

[Anna.]

I love my fiance very much, and we have a good, healthy relationship; but twice now he has called me his ex-wife's name in a loving moment. The last time it happened he looked at me, said "I love you" and started to say her name, but corrected himself in the middle of it. Our names begin with the same sound. I honestly don't believe he has any feelings for her, because he is usually very indifferent about her except when it comes to their child. He said she was just on his mind because he is mad at her right now because of something about their child, but why would he say it after "I love you?" Should I be worried? I forgave him once for it but it really hurt my feelings this time. I don't know that I trust that he really loves me now.

[strndedbyluv]

well...it sounds to me like it is just a habit he had developed. I was married for only 3 years, and my husband beat and raped me. it was a terrible divorce and trust me I hate him. But sometimes I found myself telling Will that I loved him as a reflex or habit sometimes, as bad as that sounds its true, and maybe two or three times Ive accidently called him by my exes name. But I love Will very much. We were together before I married as teenagers...and trust me its love.

Its just hard to break habits, and with your name beginning with the same sound, im sure its just hard for him to break that habit.

Im sorry that it hurts your feelings, but try to see his side of it. havent you ever had a habit? I always say "ok bye love ya" when i get off of the phone with my parents...and i have been talking to them so much lately that I have accidently said it to other people on the phone! yes, even the car mechanic!!! it was sooo embarrassing.

hope this helps!

[Anna.]

I should have mentioned also that they will have been divorced for 6 years in September.

[itseuphoric]

i can see why this would hurt you, but just hang in there and be patient with him. it's probably just habit for him to say her name, and that habit would be especially hard to break if your names sound alike!

i doubt that this has anything to do with whether or not he truly loves you. if he's with you, then you just have to trust that he does love you. i honestly don't think you need to doubt that.

i'm sure he knows that this upsets you (who wouldn't feel a little hurt?), so just hang in there and be patient with him. in time, i'm sure the habit will be broken!

[Beyondthesea]

Only a slip, nothing to worry about in my opinion.

[Dako]

I did that once with my ex, using the name of a gf from long ago.

There was no reason for the slip, as I had no feelings or thoughts of the gf in years. Just a quirk of conditioning or some freaky speech mechanism.

It only happened once, or else I'd be a dead man.

[im undercover]

nothing to worry about. as long as he knows he did it 2ce, don't make a big deal about it. it will make him too nervous. i've done it a couple of times, even said the name of someone who i had lunch with! sometimes we're so tired, we're not even thinking!

[BellaDonna]

I guess it all depends on if you believe in Freudian Slips or not. But I truly believe that actions speak louder than words. As long as his actions and behavior indicate that he's over her and in love with you- a few verbal slip-ups should not be any real threat to your relationship.

 

 

BellaDonna

[evyrew]

Maybe you two could start using nicknames for each other... I know its silly but it might prevent any more occurrences. I suggest that you forgive him each time he messes up. Don't feel bad about the name mixups; my father sometimes confuses my name with our dog, lol

[Rabican]

Its probably not fun to hear.. but i wouldnt read too much into it.

 

Ive answered my home phone with the greeting that I use at my work phone more than once... answer the phone 30 times a day saying "blah blah" and sometimes it just comes out.

 

Ive called my dad my brothers name and vice versa.... it happens. Next time smack him in the butt... maybe hell like it

[melrich]

Oh yeah, I have done this so many times.

[TheRedQueen]

Ooo wee, I'm not sure how well that would settle with me. Perhaps I analyze things a tad too much but I would regard these statements as Freudian slips.

[melrich]

Wait till you have kids. If I call out to Mel it goes "Zach!...Holl!....What's your name?....Mel!"

[eleanorrigby1]

ha ha ha i alwaysa say "bye love you" to my parents too and have said it to a casual aquaintence at one point which wa very embarrassing!!