Goldfish6888 Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 Hi, I've put up a lot of posts about my long distance email relationship which is over about a month now. Getting into his email accounts has made the process of getting over him - way easier than I ever would have thought. Over the last 2/3 months, whilst my LD b/f and I were in a grey area, I had been confiding in someone who works with me. I kinda knew I liked him but initially I thought it was just because he was a good listener and he told me he thought my b/f was not good enough for me. He said "if you were my daughter, I'd tell you to dump him". The night I knew that I was splitting up with my ex, I had a dream and he (my work colleague) had their arm around me. Since then, I've dreamt about him a lot. I tend to go out of my way to prove I don't like him - like talking about other boys with him, trying to get him to set me up with his friends. Anything that will throw him off the scent. This guy is the best in the world.....would do anything for anyone....and is very popular. He is attractive and one of the most popular and liked people I work with. I'm not sure if I do like him - as in "fancy" him? But I know I think about him and feel kind of disappointed when his desk is empty ( as he travels with his job a lot). The morning, I split up with my ex, the tears were coming down at my office, he spotted this and came over to me. He said " you, me, coffee, now!" He brought me out to Starbucks and really helped chat me around. Anytime, we are out, he always looks after me, buying me drinks and often won't let me go home! His own love situation is kind of in transition also as He is split up with his wife for about a year and has two small girls, who he sees every other weekend. This would be a tough thing to take on - but I dont' think it would really bother me too much. He has said to me, he is just enjoying life...getting out there......and being single again. Somehow I feel, well I'm not sure, if there is a special place for me.....as we tell each other a lot and he let it slip that one of his best friends said "who's this girl, who you are always talking about?" I find it really easy to talk with him. I am not sure, if I "really really like" him and would hate to spoil a friendship and also (as I sit 6 feet away from him in the office), if I approached him and things went "skew-ways", it would be extremely uncomfortable. God, I am soooo confused. Then I kind of got a panic attack yesterday as I wonder if he has found someone else, as he was supposed to attend a BBQ next week with work, but he now says he has other work plans and somehow I think there might be someone he has met on a business trip. Something tells me this. I don't think I want him to meet someone else. Well I do, but i'm not sure. I keep having dreams about him. I am afraid, that if I tell him, things will get icky....and awkward....Help guys!! Help.....Do I tell him I like him? Do I just casually suggest coffee some weekend and see where it goes? I'm not sure what I should do. I'm afraid I will chase this and mess this guy around and he doesn't deserve it or b) I will chase this and he will tell me that he only sees me as a friend and I will suffer rejection ( which will be awkward cos we work together). Is it too soon for me to think about this as I've just split up with b/f. How do I make a move?!!!! S. O. S! "Team ENOTALONE!" Link to comment
chai714 Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 Don't tell him straight out, "I like you." You might suggest coffee on a weeknight or even weekend - that wouldn't be bad. If you want to indicate how you feel to him, consider something similar to the following phrase: "You make me feel good when I talk to you," or "I like hanging out with you, it makes me feel good" or "You're a very likeable guy." It's telling him, but not scaring him. Good luck. Link to comment
The Date Doctor Posted July 6, 2006 Share Posted July 6, 2006 I would have to disagree with Chai. Let the guy know you like him. Do not be overzealous, just be mature. Let him know that you have enjoyed spending time with him lately and that you would like to become more intimate. Link to comment
Goldfish6888 Posted July 6, 2006 Author Share Posted July 6, 2006 how do I do that Date DR? I'm hopeless at being forthright about things. We have never really spent time together except in work..... One day, we did go for coffee after work and we ended up on "kind of a date"! I had about 4 glasses of wine, he was driving so he had none....but we did hang out until 11 o' clock ish. He seemed keen to keep the evening going and said I was cool to hang out with....easygoing etc.... I kind of caught him in the corner of my eye, looking at me last week at a work do, but I really don't want to mess this up. You understand, we work 6 feet away from each other!! Help! Help! I have to find an excuse to meet up with him......b4 someone else nabs him! Link to comment
The Date Doctor Posted July 6, 2006 Share Posted July 6, 2006 You want to know something that will knock his socks off, ASK HIM OUT. Everyone in this crazy world believes that the male ALWAYS has to make the first move. This is completely untrue. It has only happened once to me, and we ended up dating for two years. Womens intuition > Mens intuition. I know that you do not like being forthright, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Truthfully, there is nothing more attractive than a woman that has the self-confidence to walk up to a man and ask him out. If you asked me out, you got part of my heart already . If you have any other questions, feel free to talk with me via MSN. My MSN name is in my profile. Try to sort out any other questions that you have. Good luck with everything and let me know if I can be of any further assistance. Link to comment
Goldfish6888 Posted July 11, 2006 Author Share Posted July 11, 2006 Thanks Date Doc!!! I don't think I can do it....but I'll keep that one on the "back burner"..... I guess I need to let my wounds from my previous relationship heal........I'm jumping ahead of myself...... Link to comment
Goldfish6888 Posted October 13, 2006 Author Share Posted October 13, 2006 well since this thread Ive posted a continuation on this - which is workplace relationships......and basically he was not interested in a relationship with me because we work together. After months and months of hanging out together - I just came straight out and said I really like you and needless to say - he's not into a relationship. At least I know! Read the thread further if you want to see how it all went - which was all pearshaped! Link to comment
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