Friends With Benefits

[SweetJane]

I have a friend that I've known since middle school. He is gay and currently doesn't ahve a boy friend. I don't have a boy friend right now either. He is one of my best friends and sometimes when we haven't had sex with anyone in a while we just hook up with each other.

 

We give each head, have sex, even anal sometimes and it's great sex. It's not making our friendship weird and we both enjoy it. It has actually made us closer friends because we can be more personal and talk about anything. He still says he's gay but could he be straight or bi and hiding it? Has anyone else done anything like this?

[coollady1957]

I can't say that I have, but I am sure there must be people out there beside you and your friend that have hooked up in that manner.

 

The main thought that came to mind was if you two are using condoms and having safe sex. That would be a bit of concern if it were me. Not trying to be preachy or anything.

[SweetJane]

That's understandable. I've actually never had unsafe sex and to my knowledge he's been tested after he hooked up with a guy a while ago and has nothing.

[nottoogreen]

Hi SweetJane,

 

Here is another thread for more input:

[Day_Walker]

The problem with friends with benefits situations is typically that one person gets feelings for the other and the other person gets hurt. As long as you two know what you are doing and getting yourself into I dont see a problem but realize that these type of situations do have to come to an end and thats where they cant get messy.

As far as him being gay, it seems suspect that he is gay and still enjoys having sex with a woman, it could be that he is bisexual or it could be that he thinks ur a man when u two are having sex. It is impossible to know his thought process.

[Considerate Empath]

He's probably "Homoflexible". Not sure if that's even a word, but I know that there is something called "Heteroflexible", which is when you're straight, but when you're with the right guy you can change for that occasion - or something like that anyways. Just same thing only a gay guy with a girl instead of a straight guy with a guy. Either that or he's secretly bi/changed to straight.

 

 

//C.E.

[renaissancewoman101]

The first guy I ever fell in love with (who is the guy I am having problems with right now), he came out of the closet after three years of dating me. During those three years, we never had sex per se, but he did go down on me. After he came out to me, we still did that for a while until he went and found himself a bf. We stayed good friends until now. Our friendship is on the rocks right now.

[Cadence308]

I don't think your friend is hiding that he's straight. Why would he do that if the two of you are just friends? Especially when it sounds like he's enjoying the sex just as much as you are?

 

Sexuality is a dynamic thing that is constantly evolving and changing. It depends on so many things. If he doesn't have a boyfriend right now then he doesn't have a boyfriend right now and is enjoying gay sex with you. What reason do you have for suspecting that he's straight and hiding it?

[Deviant_Kate]

Maybe he's bisexual in his behavior, but the fact of the matter is, if he says he's gay, then he's gay - There are tons of women who get girl crushes or even have flings with girls, and they still consider themselves straight. Same principle. Whether his behavior agrees with his identity or not, he knows himself better than anyone. You just have to trust him to know who he is.