should i walk away or is there hope for us?

[freebird]

thankyou all for the advice, take care all

[Beyondthesea]

He worked hard for that house, you said so yourself. Imagine having to start all over again after you have worked so hard for something. He isn't being unloving, he is being reasonable. He'd have to leave his job, life and home he has worked hard for. It will be stepping backwards for him.

 

Why don't you go and not worry about it? If he really loves you, he will follow. If he doesn't, it wasn't meant to be.

[blender]

Well, this is what true love is all about, working through these difficult challenges, and for "today" all you can do is love each other, be patient and take one day at a time, for today, you are not leaving yet, so for now you both can discuss and respect each others situation.

 

He's worked so hard to get where he is at work and that should not be treated lightly, he's a man, and a part of him is "defined" by his work, so I'm sure he loves you very much but is apprehensive about just walking away from work to follow you right away, you can take it slow after you move back home and see how you both deal with the seperation, guys go off to war all the time and their wives wait for them.

 

Is your situation at home with your family permanent? I think you both have many things to consider before deciding on how to proceed, but of course you still love each other, this is just one of life's MANY challenges...

[kellbell]

I am wondering the same thing as blender, is your going back to England permanent? Or is it temporary? If it is temporary, I believe this can be overcome and you two can come up with a compromise. Such as him coming one weekend a month to visit, something like that.

 

I am in agreement with the others, why would he walk away from everything he has worked so hard for? You two are not married, no kids...etc...it would be a HUGE risk on his part, it would not make any sense for him to leave everything like that. There are no guarentees in life so why try to fix something if it isn't broken. Good luck with everything and take care.

[freebird]

thankyou all for the advice, take care all

[freebird]

thankyou all for the advice, take care all

[kellbell]

"hi, thankyou for the reply, i just want to say that i had a job, and a house, and friends, and everything else that i gave up to move in with him lol"

 

Well, as hard it is because you gave everything up does not mean he will or has to. If things are meant to be, they will be. I am so sorry things have been tough.

 

(((hugs)))

[Süsser Tod]

You are basically asking him to throw away what he has worked for the last 12 years. Imagine yourself throwing away 12 years of your life! And basically, all those 12 years have been all of his adult life!

 

 

I can't really understand what kind of family troubles force you to move back to England, after all, if you were as commited as you say you are to your relationship, he would be your family.

[freebird]

thanks all for the advice

[kellbell]

Hey there freebird,

 

I am not trying to get at you at all. I am was trying to see if this situation was permanent or not and you mentioned it is. If your BF is not willing to walk away from his life in Irleand...perhaps things were not meant to be. But you can do the long distance thing but LDRs are not meant to be permanent. But in the meantime, you have think what is best for your son. BUT you have to be happy too. There is not easy answers in this situation. But, are you sure this has to be permanent? I am not sure why it has to be. But you do not have to disclose any information if you are not comfortable with doing so.

 

I wish you all the best and hope a solution comes about soon.

[blender]

sometimes FATE has a way of leading down different paths, be in acceptance of what the two of you have for today, that is all that is really worthy of your energy. Both of you can discuss the alternatives for the future, and you seem to be considering what he would have to walk away from, and who knows you might have to be "gone" for awhile when you move for him to realize that it's okay for him to leave his job/home behind.. one step at a time. There are no gaurentees, but most important is not only for him to understand your feelings but for you to understand his, I'm sure this situation is causing you both stress and neither of you intends to hurt the other, or make ultimatiums, it's all about communication and understanding, that's the basis of long lasting love. Who knows what the future holds for you, just live within your standards/values and all will be okay. This "change" might be exactly what your relationship needed for it to move forward, stay the same, or end... time will tell. Just do what is right for you and always consider him.