Will parents accept my mixed race relationship?

[timjd]

I have recently started going out with this girl at medical college, Amrita, who is asian (as you can probably tell from the name). We get on like a house on fire, and the sex and everything is great.

 

Here's the grotty bit. My sister, whose 7 years older than me is married to a guy who is black. My mum/dad has never really approved of their relationship. I wouldn't call him racist but I think they were disappointed that my sister went for black guys when she was growing up. she took some stick for it apparently.

 

All my other cousins are older and married to 'nice middle-class white folks' with young kiddies. i can just see myself introducing Amrita and my parents thinking 'Oh God, we're going to be like the diversity family'. They'll probably be disappointed/worried about not having any white grandkids.

 

I just wondered if anyone else had experience of this kind of thing. i am nervous about introducing her to my family.

[TheRedQueen]

Well I don't know what to say, I can't help but be defensive about a circumstance which made my life possible, I'm a product of an interracial coupling, and I see nothing wrong with it.

[brando]

well it seems your sister layed out the ground work. SO i have a hunch your introduction of this girl will be much less of a shock to your parents.

 

If you love her and she you... then don't worry about it. It is your parents problem, not yours or your gf's.

[itsallgrand]

Does your sister have kids? In my experience (my fam. has some racial 'preference' shall we say), once they see those grankids: it's all over. They love 'em and that is that. Unless they are real die-hard racists.

 

Forget about it! Enjoy. They will get over it. Not your problem. Just keep your spirits cheerful and practise some tolerance.

[Momene]

Contrary to popular belief amongst those who know me, I don't deliberately marry girls from other races, it's just happened twice.

 

I know that people have racial and national stereotypes and that some supposed characteristics are less than flattering. The answer is to explain to your parents that your brother-in-law and girlfriend are PEOPLE and not stereotypes.

 

The other thing is that if you've just started going out, introduce her as your girlfriend and not future wife.

 

Good luck.

[skyjuice]

Hi

 

So lucky to stumble accross your post.

Because I am also in an inter-racial relationship. I am Asian and my boy friend is white. My boy friend parents are opposing of our relationship. His mum threaten to disown him!

 

It is great to hear that there is really successful inter-racial marriage and off spring of it.

 

I hope both of you will make it through, because I know it would not be easy. At least, your parents does not threaten to disown you and your sister built up the grounds for you.

 

However, both of you have to prepare for unfriendly or rather cold conversation because older generation might not be so acceptable on inter-racial relationship.

 

Wish you best of luck.

 

p/s: When you are successful, may be you could give us some advice on how to overcome the parental adverse reaction.

[yeawutever]

Yea, I can see where you coming from. My mom told me she would faint if I ever dated a black guys, since I have chat and talked to black guys online before. If I'm attracted to him and there's a great personality, then I don't care about the race. If she's treating you and your family good, then they should have no problem with it. Off course it might take them a while to get use to it, but they'll get over it.

[timjd]

Forgot to mention, but obviously yes i'm white.

 

Well yes my sis does have two sons, and whilst we all get on I still get the feeling my parents will be a bit gutted, embarressed maybe if I ending up marrying an Indian girl. She's from Bradford too which probably won't go down too well! I actually find the accent a bit of a turn on which is weird.

 

It would be good to hear from anyone else who has experienced these issues.

In the meantime we're going to just have fun.

[Momene]

People get used to it after a while.