When did you first know you were gay?

[FoxLocke]

Was there a particular instance, person, or a series of events?

 

How did you know for certain that you were: gay, lesbian, or bi?

 

How soon did you know?

[Ohso]

For me it was a gradual awareness that I was different.

 

At the age of about 8 or 9 years I knew that I liked boys in a way that I didn't like girls. I wasn't sexually aware as such but I knew it was different to how I was "supposed" to feel. The feeling that I was different goes back even further but I can't say exactly when.

[UT]

for me it was.. um... weird. I fancied some guys but still told myself that I was straight. sometimes I said.. omg I'm a fag but everytime.. i managed to convince myself again I was straight. hehe. Well.. I was like every other horny teen.. I looked at.. um.. gay.. internet stuff... hehe. However.. when I was looking there I was always excited and horny and.. well.. enjoyed myself but always after my.. um.. "climax" I felt weird and dirty and this wasn't right.. my thoughts were disgusting.

 

then all of a one day last year... or so.. I did the same thing but after reaching the "climax"... there was a change.. just like that I wasn't ashamed. I realised I really like it and everything about it. it really felt nice looking at other boys and well... soon there after, actually, I looked up and found this place. That night kind of.. changed everything.. I wasn't ashamed of who I was anymore, but proud and I.. I felt.. in place. it was so wonderful finally feeling like... I belonged.

 

oh well.. there's things I've never told anyone but my boyfriend before hehe.

[FoxLocke]

Well, for me I ALWAYS felt "different." Even when I was a little kid I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I just felt distant and "removed" from the other children my age. I was always the "oddity" amongst other kids.

I always had an affinity for other men, but there was onetime that I knew for CERTAIN that I was, what people where I come from, called "funny," "sissy," or Gay...

 

I was about nine years old. Anyway, on television that night they had an airing of this really old movie called "The Blue Lagoon" starring Brooke Shields. When I was little I used to have a crush on Brooke Shields. I thought she was so pretty(this was late 80's or early 90's). So I wanted to watch because she was in it.

However, I spent the entire time looking at her co-star, Christopher Atkins. He was so unbelieveably gorgeous. He had this curly mop of blonde hair, and the most absolutely perfect body. And he went around, the entire movie, in nothing but a loin cloth.

I was, literally, aroused. I couldn't enjoy it because I was trying to force myself to like Brooke Shields--because I had always been taught that GAY=BAD--but I couldn't help but be turned on by Chris.

 

After that I started searching the T.V. Guides for every airing of The Blue Lagoon...haha. I even rented it from the video store, and then I got my mom to buy me a copy from the bargain bin when I was 10(I still own that copy, and now I have a DVD). She asked me what it was about, and I just said it was an action adventure movie.

 

From there, I tried reorienting myself for about the next decade or so...

 

So I think Christopher Atkins turned me gay...lol(kidding of course...but he sure helped).

[agent1607307371]

I guess I was always aware of it in a way It wasn't a case that I realised I was bisexual more that I realised there was a word for it.

[jabele]

I'm just starting to come to terms with the fact that I'm not entirely straight. Do I know what I am exactly? Not at all - kind of like lil_kaila. I know that I've always felt a bit different from other girls in terms of attraction. I can remember being sexually stimulated by certain women I saw in movies - under the age of 10. At the same time, I developed strong crushes on men in movies as well as male teachers, so I assumed I was straight. While I've never experienced doing anything with a woman, I think it might be interesting to try.

 

For me, it wasn't like: "oh I'm kind of aroused by seeing that woman, I must be bi or gay..." but sort of the cumulation of things coming together to make me realize: "ok, I can't be straight."

 

Any other girls have similar experiences -- or was it a *boom, this happened so I'm gay* type thing...?

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

When I was about 13 I realised that I thought of girls in the same way as guys. When I had "crushes", I didn't discriminate on basis of gender.

 

When I was 14 or 15 or so, I realised it was full out sexual attraction to girls, and I know I have been bi ever since.

[Cadence308]

I think my first realization was in about third grade. There was this girl, two grades lower than myself that I was really attracted to. I saw her on the playground and she had long, curly hair (it was big curls like rolled in hot curlers like my own at that age). Her name was Christy and I saw her playing alone. I really wanted to be friends with her and didn't really understand why.

 

It wasn't until my attraction to a much older woman about 2 years ago did I consider the possibility that I was a lesbian. She would flirt with me, look me up and down, and tell me how beautiful I was all of the time. I was so turned on by her, but in complete denial for the longest time. It's been and continues to be a coming out process.

[lil_kaila]

When I was little I used to have a crush on Brooke Shields. I thought she was so pretty(this was late 80's or early 90's). So I wanted to watch because she was in it.

 

However, I spent the entire time looking at her co-star, Christopher Atkins. He was so unbelieveably gorgeous. He had this curly mop of blonde hair, and the most absolutely perfect body. And he went around, the entire movie, in nothing but a loin cloth.

 

Haha, that's funny! I remember watching Blue Lagoon when I was like 14 or 15 and being all smitten by Brooke Shields. Her eyes are woaw! I don't remember the guy at all! But I never thought about that until today.

[KIDD]

I think maybe 6 or 7 is when I started to feel that maybe something was different with me. I think the reality hit in 6th grade when it seemed like all the guys would talk about was girls & I wasn't interested. Then 7th grade hit & I had a crush on a boy & that's when I realised I was more into guys both sexually & emotionally.

[woah_jaxsta]

I first new there was something different about me since i was about 13 - at high school, i had boyfriends like everyone else but they were only friends, we would just hang out like friends nothing more. When i was 16 i realised that i infact liked girls and would much rather be with a girl

[all about us]

i cannot remember a moment when i wasnt attracted to boys. when i was 4 years old i was in kindergarten and i kissed 3 boys, and our teachers saw us and freaked out. however, we still found moments to "make out". i think right now 3 of us r gay. then, in elementary school i had crushes with my friends. i overcame my denial stage very early in my life because of those "feelings" i had when i was a 4-year-old and didn't knew at the time the rejection society makes to gays. that made it easier for me to accept who i was.

[northernlights]

Any other girls have similar experiences -- or was it a *boom, this happened so I'm gay* type thing...?

 

I know lots of girls who have known they were gay since they were young, but I also know a lot who only realized it (and very slowly) until college or even in their late 30's.

 

In my case, it definitely wasn't a "BOOM." I've had crushes and dated guys, but I've always been bored to death by anything sexual involving them. People kept telling me I just hadn't found the right one. Meanwhile, I definitely was turned on by the thought of two women together.

 

Then somehow, I just woke up. I went to the student run cafe on campus one day and developed a huge crush on the new worker there. After that, I started noticing all the other gay girls on campus. (My school is all female...so there are a lot of them...) Most of them I still wasn't attracted to, but the androgynous looking ones definitely got me. I also started thinking: "I could definitely kiss one of them. And actually enjoy it."

 

It still took me a year to realize that I am most likely bisexual. Before that, I went through a huge questioning stage. My main problem is I don't fall for a lot of people, male or female, so it was hard for me to know what I was since I wasn't feeling STRONG attraction for anything. I'm pretty sure now though.

[Hecate]

I used to deny that I was attracted to girls. I really liked guys - still do, I'm Bi. But when I found myself attracted to a girl I saw I was like "I'm not a lesbian! I'm just curious!" I was terrified of being a lesbian because I thought it meant I would never have children or anything like that, and my parents would disown me. (My father is quite homophobic.)

Eventually over the years I began watching late night TV looking for porn and naked women, because it really turned me on. I used the excuse "Just curious" more and more.

It was at the end of last year when my friend came out of the closet I actually thought, "would it be that bad?" and the answer was no. I'm an open bi-sexual now. (Although my parents don't know. heh.)

[FoxLocke]

I started to really, REALLY, know for sure between ages 12 and 16(even though I denied it to myself vehemently). I was always falling in love with and lusting over hot guys. I was trying to make myself like girls the same way, but it just felt so natural to be attracted to hot guys.

 

Like Hecate I thought, "Would it really be so bad to just be gay?" So I just thought, "screw it I'm gay..."

And it really hasn't been that excruciatingly painful...lol.

[Deviant_Kate]

I was an asexual teenager until after high school, so I never really had to question my sexuality until I was eighteen. Even then, the only reason I ever had to question my sexuality is because my best friend told me she was in love with me. I told her I needed some time to think about what she told me, and after a week of thinking, I realized I was in love with her.

 

Of course, she cheated on me with a guy and we parted ways. Lets just say the name I have for her would show up like this: ***** *****.

 

It was a horrible couple of months, but it woke me up in terms of my sexuality. I'm bisexual as far as crushes go, but as far as relationships are concerned, I'm totally homo. I might never have realized it if it weren't for that horrible girl.