all about us

you can talk here definitely!

I spent some time trying to analyze what he meant saying this and I think he means he is comfortable (and since he is not out yet, thinking of us as a gay couple might not make him comfortable). We have been talking these days after he told me that, and he is feeling a lot better now. I think he is reacting very well after a long talk we had where we could clear our feelings for each other. Today it's been two months since we met!!! and yesterday we reached our first month as a couple!! Yesterday also I almost got myself into the hospital because my condition got worse but the doctors said I could come home. I'll see my bf on Friday and Saturday!!!

yes, I'm out. Actually, I was forced to come out by the first guy that I dated (which turned out to be a disaster, but the out itself was not too bad). What I found hard to understand is how a guy who all of his life thought he was straight just fall so easily for another guy and be a REAL BOYFRIEND (he has never had any problem kissing me or acting as a real boyfriend). What I'm thinking is that during that first month before I went to the hospital we were living in our "own world", but he came back to reality during my time at the hospital. I'm trying not to judge him because, as you said, I remember the difficult times I went through during my coming-out days. I just want to be as helpful as possible and save myself from being hurt if things don't turn out to be favorable for me. any suggestions? thanks for your reply!

I'm writing this with tears in my eyes. Back in 2006, actually 3 days before new year 207, I was feeling a little lonely and left out. Suddenly I met this guy in a very uncommon situation, and we spoke for a minute and I felt a great chemistry; this lead me to ask him for his number and email before saying goodbye. We had a 4 hour conversation on messenger that night. Since that moment I knew I liked him and knew he liked me too. We went on our first date on the first week of January, and had a lot of dates during that month. One thing he always made me aware of is that this was his first relationship ever, and he had never liked any man before. However, we acted very loving and he was as much into our relationship as I was. We even held hands in public while going to our car in one of our dates!!! This great chemistry gave me the courage to ask him to be my boyfriend at the end of January (and he said YES! At the beginning of February I got into the hospital with a very dangerous situation that kept me there for a week, and I had to stay homefor a week after that. He was very concerned about what had happened, however, we live one hour away and he just got his driver's licence and couldn't go to see me at the hospital. I told him it was alright, I understood his situation. When I came out of the hospital, we returned to our regular life (to the extent that my condition allowed me). I started to notice something strange in his voice. I kept asking him but he said he was feeling well both physically and emotionally. Last week he injured his hand and wrist, so he told me that the strange thing I heard in his voice was because of those injures. Last night we were talking on the phone and I asked him again and told him I didn't felt we were that loving and sweet couple we were a month ago, something had changed between us. He at least had the trust in me to tell me that he wasn't sure about our relationship because he wasn't sure if he was gay or not. He says he has never been attracted by any man and still find girls appealing. He said he is in love with me, but it just feels RIGHT for him to be with me and love me, but he doesn't feel he is gay being with me. I told him I understood and I was there to help him and give him any advice and support he needed. I also spoke to him about this forum so he can find help. But I think I am the one who needs help now! I need your support. What should I do? What should I say?

you can contact me whenever you want

i just have to get this out of my chest. i met a guy yesterday and we had this instant connection that makes me jiggle and have butterflies in my stomach lol. we were talking and something he said that i found very touching is that he wanted to start the new year with a relationship, but that he realized it was too late to start it having someting with someone.... i told him it was late to start the year with a formal relationship, but not to start it knowing someone new and interesting lol now i feel so happy lol i just had to share my thoughts wow!!! jaja

I'm Puertorrican. As far as race, I don't have any problem, but I usually go for guys with pretty skin (those who always look as they have a sun tan). I have a weakness for green eyes and a slim body (like mine). A good personality is a must have. I like smart guys that make me laugh and don't look nerdy lol. and a PRETTY PRETTY NOSE..... I just love to kiss pretty noses lol

I thank you for your posts. You just put into words what I knew was on my mind but didn't want to accept. I'm just going to give my best and forget about him. The thing that kept me with my hope is that we are both going to attend universities in Boston the next year, and everytime we talk he asks about my admission and looks into my eyes and says "I hope you are accepted". I just see that as if he was holding some hope inside. But I guess we should move on and then, if the chance comes next year, we will hopefully be able to try again. omg this feeling is so confusing ](*,)

My boyfriend and I were forced to break up because of a situatiuon that happened that we couldn't control. However, I still told him I wanted to keep our relationship, but he said he didn't want to. I kept NC for about two weeks and then we accidentally crossed our paths on the street. I said "hi" and he looked very pleased and started to talk to me. This situation got my hopes high again. He told me he had a new person in his life and he wanted to try that relationship. Two weeks after that I found out they broke up. I contacted him by IM and he asked me to call him. I did it and we had a long conversation. The day after that, I told him I still had not given up on our relationship. To this he responded "You should give up, I don't want to try. I don't." What should I do? I feel really bad and now I started NC again. I don't know what to think! Any suggestions or comments are welcomed please. PS: added to the problems listed above, we are also in a long-distance relationship.

i totally agree with fox^ pay attention to yourself and solve your problem before you get into a relationship that will end up in the worst manner if you don't resolve the confusion you are in right now.

I wouldn't simply because I know for my own experience that it ends in a bad manner. However, if he is not out yet but will come out soon, I would date him. I say this because I dated a guy and I was not out to anyone and it was difficult for us to be a couple and, at the same time, leave me feeling comfortable. I started dating my boyfriend and I was not out but when things became serious I came out to my friends and things worked out greatly after that (even though we are not together now for other reasons).

I think you are right when you say he has no right to ask you about your life. He dumped you, and that action builds a "barrier" that separates you both. If you are sure you don't want to get back with him again, then make sure he knows this and establish boundaries in what he can ask and what you will answer. If you have really moved on from this relationship and you see now that he was never sure about you (he was looking for someone better elsewhere), then I think you would do a favor to yourself if you don't get involved with him again.

i'll talk to him about this. thanks.

give him time to come to terms with his sexuality. make clear to im that you love him and you deserve to know this for the sake of your relationship. hope this helps

my boyfriend and I are on a "break" in our relationship. we are in a long distance relationship that we realized would not work for this year, and we were supposedly into this "break" until we go to college next year and can be together. before we got this break, i gave him a bracelet and asked him to wear it "as long as i was still spacial for me, as long as he loved me" however, i saw him two times after the break started, and he was not wearing it. i called him and asked him about it and told him that if he wasnt going to use it again, then he should give it back to me. the next time i saw him, he was wearing it, and he made sure i saw his wrist with the bracelet on. i was, of course, very happy to see it, and that gave me "the hope" of waiting for us to move to college and restart our relationship. the day after that, he called me and told me he had met a guy and he thought he was very cute and that they were going on a date. i didnt make any comment about that, but told him that "i still feel the same things for you" he hasnt mentioned that guy to me again. however, he went to boston this weekend to visit a college. he just got back and he is telling me now that he met a guy in boston who was "special" i dont know what to think. i think he may be inventing this to make me jealous. or at least thats what i want to think. i realize maybe he is unsecure about us and is expressing his insecurity through this. i dont know!!! what do u think??

that is great Fox!! i'm so happy for u!! hope this goes great. keep us posted on what happens. good luck!

my father and i went to therapy on friday, and it was a great experience for me. the psychologist was a very friendly woman and that made it very easy for me to tell her my story and everything that has been going on in my life since i met nick. now i feel a little more relieved. i called nick on saturday night to see how he is been doing. we spoke a little and it was like any normal friends conversation. however, it made some emotional damage in me because i felt as if i was going to break apart when i hung up the phone i have been thonking about my future and i realized that our paths may coincide in the near future. im going to a university in boston and he is probably going to boston too, so maybe i can hope things can work out then, hopefully

i can't keep myself from calling him anymore. i love him so much. it's been three days we haven't spoken and i feel like i'm falling apart i saw him last saturday. i knew i was going to see him, so i wrote a letter to him expressing my feelings and my faith in our relationship. at the end of the letter i asked him to call me when he read it. i know he read it immediately after i gave it to him, but still hasn't called me. in top of all of these im going through, my stepmother told me my dad's getting worse in what she thinks is a depression that came after i came out to him. we are going to a psychologist on friday. my godfather died of cancer on saturday. all these things are making me anxious. i cant concentrate and i cant sleep. it is getting worse because i am not doing correctly all the things i have to do!!! im senior class president and i have a lot of work this week and i dont have the energy to do anything sorry, i had to get this out of my chest

thanks for ur advice. after i read what u wrote i called nick and told him i wasnt going tu push him into making a decision about our relationship. i told him i was ready to talk to him when he finished clearing up his thoughts. i thanked him for all the wonderful moments we have lived together. i think he wasnt ready to hear this, because he was very emotional and all he could manage to say was "thanks for being open to me" i really feel today as if my mind was somewhere else. my best friend caalled me and asked about nick. she was very surprised when i told her i hadnt spoke to him in the past 24 hours. thats the longest we have gone without talkin EVER! THANKS RoboWarrior and Ipso for ur advice. i dont know what i would do if i hadnt found this forum

the last two months have been a rollercoaster for me. i met a guy on July 1st, and we instantly knew we liked each other. he lives 3 hours away from me, but we managed to see each other very frequently during that month. it was very difficult considering we r both 17 years old. i had been thinking about coming out to my closest friends before meeting this guy. after i met him, i found so much confidence with the fact that i'm gay and no one shoul make a deal about it. on July 19th i came out to my best guy friend and my best girl friend. they were totally comfortable with it. they surprised me in the greatest way when they started to ask about my guy and how had we met. they were really showing me their friendship was based on who i was. my guy (i'll call him nick) and i kept in contact every day and we talked on the phone for hours a lot of times a day. i started to feel those "butterflies" that i had read about but had never felt. i realized i liked him, and he said he liked me too. a week ago something very bad happened. it is a personal problem i dont want to talk about, but the outcome is that i wont be able to see nick as much as i've been seeing him the last couple of months. our weekly visits or every two weeks will be reduced to one visit a month or once every month and a half. this was killing me inside because it was the result of an action that i didn't do. i felt i was on a breaking point, so i decided i was going to come out to my dad and my stepmother (my mother died 12 years ago, and i have a great relationship with my stepmother). so i called my dad and told him i had to talk to him. i dont know why but it seems that he felt my problem through my voice and it took him 15 minutes to come to my house to talk to me. i asked him to go to his house so i could be more comfortable speaking. we went to his house and i told him i was in love, and he was very happy about it. then i told her i loved a guy. he didnt utter a sound. in that moment, my stepmother came into the house (she wasnt home) and i decided to tell her too. she surprised me acting totally controled. she said it was alright and i could count on her for anything i needed. i immediately told her the reason i decided to say this now was because of the situation that would keep me from seeing nick. then she remembered one day she had seen him when he came to my house the day we met (yes, we met at MY house for the first time, he was a close friend of one of my friends). she said she would help me so i could go see him. i told nick about what she had said, but that very same day he started to change. everytime i call him he is sick, or has a headache, or he is studying or doing something which cannot wait and he cant speak with me for a long time. i have noticed that sometimes when he answers the phone he sounds like he had been crying. if i ask about it he said it was just an allergy. i have spoken to him about our future and our relationship. but he always manages to somehow put the decision in my hands and he doesnt express how he feels. when i ask him he says "i'm not sure if things will work out this way" i feel like s#!t. i really dont know what to do. i just spoke to my stepmother half an hour ago and she told me she is taking my dad to professional counseling so he can deal with what i told him. i am really startiing to feel something deep for this guy, but i cannot determine if he doesnt feel the same way about me or if he is just acting that way to protect me if things dont work out. i do think he is suffering please give me ur opinion. what should i do?

i just saw a video for tiziano ferro's new song "ed ero contentissimo".... for those who dont know, he is an italian singer and he sings in italian and spanish. well, to my surprise, i found a gay love story in that video. it turns out to be even more touching when u hear the message delivered by the song. "ed ero contentissimo" can be translated as "i was extremely happy" and the song tells the story of someone who lived his best time with someone who now doesnt want to be with him anymore. this video was very touching for me and i wanted to share it with u and see if u think the some about it.

if you are willing to accept your brother if he is gay, then you can tell him you are happy he gets along so well with ryan and that u like him and think he is a great guy, a great gay guy. that should give your brother some clues and open a door for him to come and talk to you when he feels ready. hope everything goes fine, keep us updated on your story

well... i spent Monday and Tuesday with my friends at the beach and they kept saying i still had to tell them something about me. they kept asking me to tell them a name (of who i love). on monday night i had to share my bed with alex because we were sleeping at the beach. we were alone because we were the only 2 guys there and girls didnt want us to be in their same bedroom. we kept a conversation while we were in bed and he asked me for the name again. all i could say was "it is the most difficult thing for me to say, i just need u to understand me and give me ur support" and the conversation ended there. on tuesday we all went to eat in a restaurant and when we were at the table my cell phone rang and it was the guy im dating (andy). they heard our conversation and told me i sounded "soo inlove" lol. well, today i was talkin to alex on messenger and he asked for the name (for the 50th time) and i said "i have to do this, please understand... im gay.... u r the first one to know" i pressed the enter key and turned off my monitor for more than 10 minutes. when i turned it on i saw all the messages he had sent giving me support omg it felt so good!!!!! then i called him on the phone and he acted like nothing had happened and he asked me for the name and i told him and he was very happy for me. so, after getting such a great response from alex, i called my other friend and asked her to go to andy's MySpace page. she went there and then i told her "u r seeing my boyfriend" and she was ok and very supportive!!!!! we talked for a while after that and when we finished i told her to call alex so they could share their feelings. they talked and then i talked to them and they r great. omg i love them for being my best friends!!!!! lol now i feel like im walking on a cloud lol

i thought it would be very difficult. even though i did it in an indirect way, i still have to tell them because i'm convinced it is a step i have to take. with both of them i have a great bond and thats why they understood it in the way that i said it, but i know not eeryone will understand it if i say it in that way. thanks for ur support, u r awesome

thanks everyone...