if you have cheated or been cheated on, i need your advice

[littlepinkpunk]

I posted earlier about something i did while away at college(about 8 or 9 months ago). I put myself in a stupid situation with a guy i was attracted to and he kissed me. I didn't stop him immediately but it was like two kisses and i realized that i had to stop.

i felt nothing. i didn't want to do anything with him. i Love my boyfriend and if i gained anything from the situation, i realized that i want him and i am sure we will get married and have a family and all that good stuff.

 

a few days ago something reminded me of it and i've been feeling somewhat guilty.

 

i feel like he deserves better than me. Will i ever get over this and move on?

[sweetypie111]

are u going to tell your boyfriend about it but if you tell him it mite go away but its goin to bother you believe me ive only cheated once and the guy did the exact same thing so yea

[yeawutever]

Think I read your post and well it's normal to be get attracted to someone other than your b/f at that age, that's when you're on a stage where you are figuring out what you want in life. Don't beat yourself on it, esp. if it was just kissing and you realize you had to stop. If keep remembering this and don't move on, your b/f might start getting suspicious about your behavior, you wouldn't want him questioning you would you??

 

In this case, don't tell, if esp. nothing special will come out of it. I wouldn't tell if I was you. At times what you don't know can't hurt you!!!!!!!!!!!!

[agent1607307371]

Seconding Ailec here, don't tell.

 

Sometimes when we do something we know will hurt someone we love we want to confess to relieve our guilt. And it might do that but it will also hurt the person to who you've confessed.

 

In this case, you've learnt a tough lesson that will stick with you, do your best to focus on your relationship not your mistake and eventually you'll get distance from it.

[Day_Walker]

As long as you keep this bottled up you are going to have some feelings like this. You need to decide if this is something you can live with or if it is something you can get over.

[AwdreeHpburn]

If you haven't told your bf - I suggest you do.

 

In some cases, not telling certain things can be beneficial. I disagree this is one of those times.

 

Let's say you DO end up getting married and having kids. It won't at all matter then, by any means that you kissed another guy while in college. But I think you will feel bad about it forever, knowing you did something he knows nothing about.

 

I think you should clear the air, tell him, tell him exactly how little happened and how ridiculous it was but how you wanted to be honest.

 

If he can't take it, that's his choice. But I think you should at least GIVE him the choice.

[Cecelius]

I'd suggest that you not tell him, but mostly because it would be odd at your age for your currently relationship to take that last leap into marriage. To the extent that you aren't going to be with him, then I wouldn't bother.

 

If you are, then he has an abosolute right to know -- no question about that

[yeawutever]

If you are, then he has an abosolute right to know -- no question about that

 

Actually if I was in a relation and only a kiss happen, I would NOT want to hear it.

[Cecelius]

Want vs. right are entirely different.

 

If you are planning to marry someone and the stakes, emotional and financial are that high, having something like this hidden is entirely incorrect. It'd be worse than failing to tell your spouse that you intend to quit your job immediately after getting married, or that you have a drinking problem

[jasmine888]

Hi everyone. I am new to this not sure how this works. Here is the story I Cheated on my b/f of about 4 months about 3 months ago. I did everything so that he would take me back and I regreted it deeply, and I know he new that. However I guess he never got over it because yesterday, I acessed his computed and I saw conversations of him talking or having cyber sex with these random girls I was so mad, he had pictures saved and everything. Anyway we got into a huge fight about it, because I had no choice but to confront him. He basically said that I did the same to him but worse, that he was sorry, and all that bull. Now we are taking a day to think about our relationship and see if we want to go on. I have no clue what to do. I am very hurt and now I know what it feels like to be cheated on

[bashlin]

if you respect your boyfriends feelings be completely honest with him and please tell him..i've just gone through a situation where my wife had an affair 6 years ago and just recently told me.. if you think you and him will continue this relationship don't keep any secrets, if you are just dateing and don't plan to take this any further, than i wouldn't worry about it..JMO..

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

You should only tell if he'd find out from another source. Then your best bet really is to tell him.

 

This sounds very harsh but really is the route of minimal suffering for all concerned. Honest.

[nottoogreen]

Hi, littlepinkpunk

 

I strongly agree with what Superstar said.

 

You feeling guilty sometimes is good as it reminds you of your wrongdoing. We all have had lonely moments and had a slipup or two. I suppose next time you do better and will avoid similar excursions.

 

As a last resort, if you feel very guilty and cannot resolve the kiss and put it aside, it may be better to talk to him and you resolve it together.

 

Important is that the two of you are happy together and that you do not do it again.

 

Much thought over a kiss.