skyblue1 Posted June 23, 2006 Author Share Posted June 23, 2006 Yes i have made a list a few times it really helps. Just wondering what pattern i keep doing to not get anywhere with men?? It's very hard to put my finger on it. The pattern needs to STOP right now! Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 Yes i have made a list a few times it really helps. Just wondering what pattern i keep doing to not get anywhere with men?? It's very hard to put my finger on it. The pattern needs to STOP right now! Sit down on a PC and draft your story. Once your are done, paste it into a post. It will make a big difference for the better. You are young and it is good that you are here. It's been 10 years since those nasty words, 4.5 years since the bad relationship. Years go fast I can tell you. Then, this is the big hammer, you brain adapts to your situation, day by day, it will get ever better at making you feel lousy. You got to get out of this vicious circle! Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 Yes i have made a list a few times it really helps. Just wondering what pattern i keep doing to not get anywhere with men?? It's very hard to put my finger on it. The pattern needs to STOP right now! Ask your friends maybe they see something. When you meet guys it sound like you put to much stock in little things and dont really try to date casually and see where it goes. Try dating a guy for 5 dates and just have coffee or something light and easy and learn about them. Judging by this post it sound like you see a small action and analyze it and turn it into something meaningful when it really isnt. Do you think you are trying to hard? Link to comment
skyblue1 Posted June 23, 2006 Author Share Posted June 23, 2006 It all started when i was in school i was a sweet innocent little girl then i started hanging around with this girl in my class called Danielle she was okay for a while then she started giving me this name Anna for anorexic she wouldn't call me by my name and i remember when she used to go in the girls toilets and put all graffiti on the walls saying ANOREXIC. I felt like rubbish and what made things even worse these oriental guys used to call me dumb, big nose, thick and useless. I just took all that crap and accepted it, but why?? i should have stood up for myself. So school isn't one of my best memories. College was very good and i made loads of great friends. During college days i went to a club and met my Ex didn't really think much of him an first, i gave him a go anyway and then we fell in love. Things were going very well for the first year and then he started buying these Max power magazines that had half naked girls in so i started getting jealous then he started putting these posters on his bed room wall i went crazy ripped anything off the wall and chucked all those magazines in a black bag. I started feeling very ugly towards these girls he was peeving on and from there things started going down hill. One evening i stayed round his house and i looked in one of his top draws and found a valentines card from another girl so i flipped the roof and questioned him what is this? and he said it's an old valentines card from school and that's when i started thinking his cheating on me. I would also find blonde hair on his jacket and he will still deny it then i started noticing him using 2 mobile phones very fishy, that love bites on his neck and him trying to brush me off by saying oh no its a rash honey. I know he was cheating on me and his mum even started noticing changing by the way me and his mum were close. So i get i call from her crying down the phone to me saying i saw this blonde girl outside waiting for him she was really hurt because she wanted be to be her daughter in-law she loved me. His mother will also notice him not coming home and staying out till the next day. So i confronted him again and his still denying it. Now Christmas day comes and he came round my house for dinner and tells me he doesn't love me anymore i was very strong and i packed all his clothes that he left and told he to just leave. I fell into depression i felt sick to my stomach and couldn't eat or sleep. That's when i went for counseling and got over him. The crazy thing about it i gave my all and i used to spoil me with gifts and surprises. That was my mistake i gave all my love and didn't leave any for me and he would only take take take. That's it folks! Link to comment
skyblue1 Posted June 23, 2006 Author Share Posted June 23, 2006 I don't think i try too hard. I will go out on a date and be myself and if they decide to call they call. I don't really do the chasing when i'm dating them. I am very chilled and i take it as it comes. Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 So, Danielle was a naughty tough brat you looked up to? If you think of her from todays perspective, what made her superior to you. How would she do today. ? Oriental guys were guys or girls? Why them significant? I think your ex evolved into an odd direction with these porn posters on his wall. Was he abusive? How did he treat you. Care, respect is important. Did he like you to grow or down you or not care? How was your confidence as little girl? Link to comment
skyblue1 Posted June 23, 2006 Author Share Posted June 23, 2006 All started with this girl i guess i didn't have the gutts to stand up to her. I strange thing is i'm still funny about my weight she must have drilled it in my head. 2 Oriental guys in my class even when they gave i a xmaz card they it was To Dumb. My ex used to punch me hard on my arm when we used to play fight and i told him he was hurting me and he still punched me. I wouldn't say grew more like put me down and call me ugly with make on and he didn't care at all with how i feel him hurting me. I would even cry in front of him and he wouldn't take any notice of me. I didn''t have any confidence as a little girl shame really. Link to comment
skyblue1 Posted June 23, 2006 Author Share Posted June 23, 2006 Do you think this is the reason why i'm like this today? Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 Do you think this is the reason why i'm like this today? Yes, some people abused you as you see. Them put crap in your head. We have to get this out of your system. Ever done grafitty? You are a nice soft good girl with a good heart. I saw your pix, you are attractive too. Nothing your fault, it's the abusers fault. We need time to talk about it more. Just put it into your head, you did nothing wrong and you will be better! Time for a nap here. :sleeping: Link to comment
skyblue1 Posted June 23, 2006 Author Share Posted June 23, 2006 Have a good sleep nottoogreen thanks for everything very nice of you. Nope never done grafitty before. Would be great to get some more stuff out in the open. Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 Have a good sleep nottoogreen thanks for everything very nice of you. Nope never done grafitty before. Would be great to get some more stuff out in the open. Thank you skyblue1, I had a good sleep and I hope you too. I didn't think you would have done grafitty like that brat... Good for you. The naughtiest thing I did as a kid was ringing bells at the neighbors and running... How do you feel about yourself today and what would you like to talk about? Link to comment
skyblue1 Posted June 24, 2006 Author Share Posted June 24, 2006 Feeling much better this morning thank you. Feeling GREAT!!! I go through stages like this feeling down and then on top of the world. You have been a great help to me maybe i need to write my story. I was thinking maybe i'm soft and too nice when it comes to men and i let them get away with things i don't like and i accept it. Do you think i should express to the person how i feel if i don't see something i like or the way they are acting? Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 Feeling much better this morning thank you. Feeling GREAT!!! I go through stages like this feeling down and then on top of the world. You have been a great help to me maybe i need to write my story. I was thinking maybe i'm soft and too nice when it comes to men and i let them get away with things i don't like and i accept it. Do you think i should express to the person how i feel if i don't see something i like or the way they are acting? Glad youre better. It's normal, up and down, will get better, don't worry, just think positive. Your ex bf also abused you. You want to get rid of old issues before talking about new men for a few days please. Important is that you learn to be happy and proud of yourself. So all old stories should open and be explained. When people wrong you, you should tell them and prevent them from wronging you. Otherwise you suffer. Link to comment
skyblue1 Posted June 24, 2006 Author Share Posted June 24, 2006 I agree with you nottoogreen i shouldn't focus on men and only focus on myself more. Now i know the past can't do me no harm and i'm the only one who's stopping good things happening to me. Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 I agree with you nottoogreen i shouldn't focus on men and only focus on myself more. Now i know the past can't do me no harm and i'm the only one who's stopping good things happening to me. Be patient, and resolve things. Also take a proactive approach to building self esteem, about yourself, recreation and work. Once you are OK and happy, you'll find ways to meet interesting men and interest them. It won't be years, but give yourself time to make peace with yourself first. Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Hi skyblue, I referenced this thread from . I would like you to laugh about it too. Laughing is healthy. Link to comment
skyblue1 Posted June 28, 2006 Author Share Posted June 28, 2006 Oh my god!!! Fan man has just been in touch with me today not very pleased i must say. His justed texted me his broken up with his girl friend and wants to meet me. I asked him why did you broke up and he comes out with because she thinks he cheating on her. Maybe it's because his is. Not believe this. Link to comment
skyblue1 Posted June 28, 2006 Author Share Posted June 28, 2006 great stuff nottoogreen sounds a bit like me. Thanks sugar x Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 Oh my god!!! Fan man has just been in touch with me today not very pleased i must say. His justed texted me his broken up with his girl friend and wants to meet me. I asked him why did you broke up and he comes out with because she thinks he cheating on her. Maybe it's because his is. Not believe this. Guess you are a bit further out of his league now. But he may not be the cheating type as he declined to meet you earlier. Long ago a female psychiatrist told me wrt my ex being extremely jealous that she was dissatisfied about herself (unable to conceive) and our relationship (me too busy). At that time I had deliberately chosen an administrator less attractive than my ex, to no avail... Self confidence counts. He seems straight talking, you could meet him for a chat to excercise your confidence and guy-reading skills. Might be fun to go out too. Link to comment
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