horty232 Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 So last week i went to flordia with my "sort of" g/f...we kind of were broken up but not really you know how that goes....but i promised i would go to flordia with her to meet her step-dads side of the family....well to make things short when i got down there her whole family pretty much ignored and neglected me the whole time i was there and my gf thought i wasnt trying hard enough to include myself so she started ignoring me too...so basically the whole time i was there i was left to myself not talking to anybody for a whole week...then my gf says to me that i ruined her whole vacation because i wasnt putting in enough effort (whcih i was trying to talk to these people and get to know them but they wanted nothing to do with me...) and she says she started ignoring me because i wasnt trying hard enough.... my first question i guess is if you bring someone with you to meet their family shouldn't you do everything possible to make that person feel welcome and included? My gf did nothing but yell at me because i wasnt being included in anything. Next is about her ex-boyfriend who was also living at the house we went to stay at. It was her step-dads side of the family so she was not blood-related to this kid at all...but techinically he would be her step couzin. This kid has a baby and a girlfriend...but i felt like my gf started to get her old feelings back for this kid. When i asked her about it she said no feelings for this kid anymore and that i was being paranoid...but whenever he was around she treated me different...wouldnt show me very much affection... proceded to flirt with him on many occusions... and she stared at him for god knows how long whenever he was around. I asked her multiple times if her feelings came back and she said no.... but dont actions speak louder than words? And if i had doubts about that shouldn't she do everything to prove to me that there isn't anything there? I'm sorry this is kind of long i know people usually dont like reading long posts like this but i have so many questions about all this... when we got back it kind of left off as we are going our separate ways until she says i show i want to be with her and i need to change...and she didnt see ny of that in flordia because i didnt show her any affection ( which yes i didnt because she would shrug me off everytime i tried) and i didnt put in enough effort to try and talk to her family.... and i guess the logical thing is to just let her go because a person shouldn't have to change for anybody am i right? if she doesnt respect me for who i am then i shouldnt be with her...but its not that easy. i love this girl to death and i wnat nothing more than to be with her... but there are so many things that point to jsut letting her go... i dont know any advice about the situation would be very appreciated thank you for listening Link to comment
confused25 Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 Um, yeah, you need to let her go! She accused YOU of ruining her vacation? It should be the other way around! I mean, it's already hard as it is that you're meeting her entire family, but then she's not even making any effort to include you in their conversations/activities. If I were you I'd feel awkward and out of place too! Maybe her family is ignoring you because your gf said something to them about you that made you look like the bad guy (from the breakup). You're smart that you know you should leave him, you deserve better! Link to comment
InHiding Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 Well it sounds like she disrespected you a whole lot. If I brought my BF to meet my family (which I have done on numerous occasions), I do anything within my power to make him feel like part of the group. I make sure he is included and feels comfortable. And I would expect the same. Especially since you travelled to meet them, it wasn't like you were in your comfort zone whatsoever. However I would be disappointed if he made no effort to get to know them either. But if you feel you made an effort and were rejected, then I think she should have done something or stepped in. I don't know if I would just "let her go" like you said, meeting the parents is supposed to be stressful! (you saw the movie, right? So, it could be worse...) But as for her saying that you need to change? I don't believe that is right either. Maybe sit down and talk to each other and explain BOTH sides of the story and perhaps you can come to a conclusion. But if you can't even communicate that much without her putting the blame on you, maybe you need to weigh this and see if this is someone you really want in your life. I hope this helps... Link to comment
Momene Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 I think the flirting was aimed at you, not him. The good thing to come out of it is that you should abandon any thoughts of getting back together "properly". Link to comment
horty232 Posted June 23, 2006 Author Share Posted June 23, 2006 what do you mean aimed at me? was she tring to get back at me or make me feel uncomfortable? Link to comment
Momene Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 what do you mean aimed at me? was she tring to get back at me or make me feel uncomfortable? Yes, I think so and I consider it a sign of childishness. In her warped mind you were in the wrong and it was her form of punishment/revenge. Link to comment
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