tough decision....

[brokencoop]

i am in quite a predicament here and have no clue what to do. let me begin by saying i am 22 and will be doing my last year in school starting in the fall.

 

ok, here is the deal. i recently went through a REALLY tough breakup with my bf of 4 years. we go to the same school and it is pretty small, so i still manage to see him almost weekly there.

 

Recently, i decided it might be better (as i am having a really hard time even focussing at school and doing what needs to be done, suffering grades...) to transfer to a different university. I have spent the past 2 weeks finding out what all it will take, meeting with advisor's from both schools, traveling to the other campus, etc, etc, etc. It has been exhausting, but i feel it is something that would benefit me and my future....

 

here is my predicament, even after finding out all the information i need to make this decision, im having a hard time actually doing it. here are some of the pro's/ and con's of each.

 

STAYING

Pros:

friends

school clubs

job

roommate

being on my own

 

Cons:

my ex

his new girlfriend

suffering grades

lack of motivation

no focus on school

 

MOVING

Pros:

HUGE savings (no rent, as i will be commuting)

my focus will be on school

new friends

new clubs

internship (i missed the deadline at my current school)

possibly getting my foot in the door at a company

closer to family

pretty much a whole new life

i can not have to worry about seeing the ex, and backsliding to where i used to be. we have broken up in the past and i always take him back when he comes back, i DON"T want to do that again and im afraid if im here, i will do that. i want to move on completely and just be AWAY from him for once

 

Cons:

not feeling "independent" because of living at home

not knowing anyone at my new school/not knowing the campus

commuting (around an hour and a half round trip)

a possible extra semester

i feel i won't be living a "college life" anymore

feeling like i'm missing out on something.

 

I'm just so confused, my stomach has been upset for 2 weeks straight trying to come to a decision with this. i just don't know WHAT to do or what would be best.

[Haven]

If you move, do you have to live at home? If you lived on campus, that would get rid of a lot of the cons under Moving, I think.. it's pretty easy to meet new people and get to know the campus when you actually live on campus. To me, it sounds like moving would be better for your life overall, if you lived on campus instead of at home. Staying would be better, if you could motivate yourself to get better grades.

 

Are you confused because you're scared of change? This happens to me a lot.. I trick myself into thinking I don't want to do something, but eventually I realize it's only because I'm scared of change & the unknown.

[Scotcha]

Well, I can't tell you which is better for you but I can tell you this:

 

FLIP A COIN!

 

(It's not what the coint actually gives you, it's your reaction to it. Sometimes doing this makes your gut a little bit louder.)

[need2bme]

Whatever keeps you motivated and able to graduate, do it. Take it from me, just get the degree. I hope everything gets better.