Cheating

[SwtMary]

I have been thinking about this a lot and I want the opinion of others on this subject. I have never actually done it but it has happened to me...

 

If you truly love someone can you cheat on them? I talk to this guy online all the time that has a girlfriend that he "loves dearly and more than anything in the world" but he constantly is cheating on her. He would literally sleep with anyone, male or female. Is he just a rare case or do others say the same thing and act the same way?

 

While me and my husband were separated, he would tell me that he loved me so much and wanted me back WHILE he was living with another woman! I was just astonished that he would say that.

 

I can understand if you dont want to admit if you have cheated or are cheating but I would be fascinated to hear what others think.

[yeawutever]

Well you may love someone and di have deep connections, but if you cheat, it just means you don't respect them nor love them in an unconditional manner. Usually when someone cheats, is due to flaws in their character, where in very few occasions is cuz something is lacking in the relation or cuz the SO is inconsiderate (abusive, liar, cheater) or simple cuz they do it in revenge when they themselves got cheated on.

 

Most important, when they cheat, they are telling you that they can't really commit, they might be afraid of carrying on the responsibilities of a long term relation or usually cuz they cna't express their emotions freely. But either way, the best way to end a reation is by breaking up if you really feel the urge to cheat.

[RayKay]

Well, they may THINK they love them. And to them, they may really believe they do, based on their own experiences and standards. Maybe they grew up learning a different "concept" of love.

 

But, it does not fit any definition of love I hold or believe in for myself. And I would not believe for an instant someone whom told me they loved me, yet were cheating on me!

 

If you truly love someone, you make the conscious choice not to cheat, you do not give into temptations and whims, that would clearly hurt your partner and your relationship. You do not commit sabotage on the bond you have with your partner.

[chigal28]

The temptation can always present itself to cheat, but I think if you truly love someone, in the way that cares about their feelings, respects them and values them, you would see that person's face if you even thought about going down the cheating road, and the thought of hurting them in that way would prevent action....

 

That's just my two cents based on past and current experiences. Yes, people do mess up (God knows I have but have truly worked on myself and learned from it--in part because I've learned HOW to truly love), but in my opinion, cheating just says that you care about yourself far more than you care about the person you're with. You don't intentionally hurt someone you love, and cheating is so hurtful.

[locolady]

i truly believe you would never cheat on someone you love.....i was cheated on and it has utterly destroyed me....it was almost a year ago and im still in such a state....my ex has moved on so quickly, i guess because he cant have loved me if he cheated.

 

I went to uni 3 hours away, made so many new mates but never once cheated....i dont accept the drunk excuse either, i was drunk plenty of times but because i loved my ex so much the situation of cheating was so far from my mind it never happened. I never got into those situations because i was happy with what i had.

 

Cheating has to mean there are big issues in the relationship (whether one of them knows this or not) it does not just happen. Yes it happens because people are weak and selfish...but ultimately it is because one person does not love the other.

[flower99]

1 Corinthians10:13 "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

 

I believe this. And I believe that if you love someone you will take the way out and stand up to it. Not to hurt them & your relationship.

[lovebites]

Beautiful quote.

 

Yes everyone does screw up from time to time, no one is perfect, but if you really love someone then you should find in them everything you need...!

 

-lovebites

[Elisette]

welll that's the same question I have asked myself because a married guy is going out with me and he says he truly loves me but he's with his wife so I always ask myself if he really loved her he would not cheat on me, but my opinion is that if you really LOVE someone you NEVER CHEAT on them

[locolady]

elisette - you should look at yourself and stop your relationship with this married man.....of course he doesnt love you, or his wife..... sure he;s the one who is guilty but how dare you be part of causing this other woman such pain....it take two to tango and one day you might find yourself on the receiving end. Sorry to judge i just get so angry that the other woman seems to feel theyre doing nothing wrong....dont get involved.