Have it all, but something's missing

[Doctor Smurf]

Hi all... First of all I want to apologize if this sounds a bit selfish, because I know some people would die for the opportunities I have...

 

Just recently I've had my second set of GCSE's (Through College), I had "Student of the Year" last year for them, this year the exams where ok too. Obviously no results as yet, but it gave me no satisfaction to complete them. As some of you may know I did my Gliding Scholarship and passed perfectly, which made me very happy at the time, though it wore off quickly. Now I'm reaching the top of a medical paperwork mountain to go back to the school and fly again for more training.

 

Apart from that I've got the prospect of driving a car when I'm seventeen (February), or getting a moped now which is another choice I can't make. I've got my job, which is ok though I've just been handed an hour cut, 1/3 off my wages.

I'm invited out for a friend's engagement party on Saturday night, so I'm looking forwards to that, though not rapturously.

 

 

Out of all this, I'm still not happy. I can't understand why! Granted, I'm single but surely I can still be happy? Money I'm not short of either, I just seem to have lost the capability to be really happy with something.

 

Can anyone offer any advice, or just some comments on any of this? Thank you all, Doc

[I_KicKed_keNNedy]

Do you partake in any rigorous physical activity? Any hobbies? Do you do anything outside of the work that is given or presented to you? Do you do anything for the pure enjoyment of the activity?

 

My tip: Learn a new language. For some reason, since I've started studying French (along with a daily exercise regimen), my mood has gone up ten fold.

 

Mate, you're not being selfish, you sound surprisingly human.

[itsallgrand]

Sounds like you're just going through the motions of what you think is an 'acceptable' 'right' way to be.

 

Are you doing these things bc you actually want to? You sound bored as -.

 

Do something wild. Kick up your heels. Do something different and out of your comfort zone. Do something fun and just bc you want to.

 

Start brainstorming some ideas of what really gets your juices flowing. Being responsible is great - but not everything has to be able doing something or achieving a goal.

 

Have some fun!

[Batya33]

I would do volunteer work or something that is other-centered - whether it involves empathic listening to a friend or even someone who is simply in need of someone's attentive ear -- or helping someone with a project.

[Beyondthesea]

Out of all this, I'm still not happy. I can't understand why!

 

Happiness isn't a constant thing, and it's not 'produced' by anything, it's simply a state of mind.

 

Personally, I'm the happiest idiot anyone has ever laid eyes on and I've had it pretty tough a lot of my life. Why? Because I choose to be happy, and choose to be excited about and happy about the little things in life.

 

Most people think "as soon as I have ____ I will be happy." This is a surefire disappointment. No one is ever 100% happy and lives happily ever after once they've done their ______ goal.

 

The point I'm making: find happiness from within, then the world seems like a gift.

 

Oh, and try going to church too if you don't already A lot of people find God is the one thing really missing from their lives.

[Mun]

I have the same suggestion as batya, have you tried doing nice things for other people. Knowing that we have helped someone in need brings us good feelings. Would you consider that?

 

The other question is simple. Do you know what makes you happy? As in.. what activities or hobbies do? Find some quiet time to yourself and reach back into your past, what made you happy then? Also, do you think maybe you are setting up goals for yourself that are too ambitious and not really your own ? Just a thought.

[anonymous_presence]

People who tend to be successful academically tend to fall into a rut. Success becomes the norm, and it's just not that satisfying anymore. It gets to be expected of you, and instead of being something that brings you tremendous happiness, it keeps you at a normal level, whereas if you didn't do amazingly, you feel depressed.

 

There was a study that showed that people who were on the road to success were generally happier than people who had actually achieved their goals, reason being that the path to it is more rewarding due to its uncertainties and falls (and subsequent rises). This doesn't go to say that you've already reached your peak, but that you got the title last year, did speculatively well on your tests this year, got that scholarship, and now all these things have become a way of living rather than achievements (speaking from my experience anyway, don't know if it entirely applies to your situation).

 

Well, keep on doing all those great things that you're doing! But to feel satisfied and happier, maybe you can try doing something you really suck at instead of doing the things you shine at. It sounds a bit like you're bored and need a challenge, and if you do something that you're absolutely terrible at you'll change it up a bit (any activity that you like but aren't good at, whatever that may be). It doesn't even have to be something you're bad at, but just something different or challenging, like doing something about that single status of yours? Going out and meeting girls so that you can share your successes with someone.