Issues after the break up

[hazeleyed]

Hi Guys,

 

For many of you that might have read my previous posts. I had gone through a terrible break up and was a bit depressed from everything around me. Now I am just trying to move on and live my life day by day. I am going to school, I have an internship and a job as well. However, at times I still feel a little empty...sometimes I wonder why but I want to fill it up with school and the passion for my career.

 

People who have gone through previous break ups and it has been a while. Do you guys see the want or desire to get to know someone new? When men approach you do you turn them down or talk to them?

 

With me, I have been following the strike system. 1-2-3 and they are out and blocked out of my life. I used to let everyone in before and now I just dont want to let any tom, * * * * or harry off the street into my life. I feel no desire to be involved with any men nor revolve my life around them. I am not exactly sure what I am getting at but when men approach me I turn them down. I dunno...I know I am a pretty , smart and intelligent girl but I am scared now to find new people, toget to know them and start the whole process of relationships. It really hurts to try to think about something fresh.

 

Sometimes my thoughts scare me because even though I was in a somewhat abusive relationship I was comfortable. i didnt have toworry about my weight, my life, my anything...I used to question how women can tolerate all this...and now i know. I am just glad I didnt marry him because I was putting my whole life on hold for this guy or this so called dream that I had desired. Now I know it sounds stupid or some of you might think I am just trying to cover up my true feelings...but I really want to start getting into school...to become something and achieve a meaning of my life. To prove to myself that there is something more to me than being a good girlfriend, later wife and mother.

 

Is this what self discovery is called?

[melrich]

I think it means you learnt a lot from your relationship.

 

At the age of 2 you'll let anyone into your life, as each year passes you become more selective. Properly so.

[daftpunk]

I have a close female friend who is very similar. She had had a long relationship, but since that finished, she has male friend such as me, but she never lets men be any more than friends. she has been like this for longer than I hav known her, which is 2 years. It works well, because we both know that our friendship is what keeps us together not any underlying possibility of attraction. Eventually she will settle down with someone, but she is very very rigorous in her selection. I would think it would be the sam efor you, if you find someone perfect then you will change but right now you have no need/want to. I think you have learnt something bery valuable about yourself from your last relationship.

[Hyperia81]

Nothing wrong with being picky about who you let into your life.

After my previous breakup i was very cautious of men who tried to get to know me, i would always wonder what their intentions are.

As time goes by you once again get into the swing of getting to know other people and give them the benefit of the doubt. After all, who knows how many tom, * * * *, or harrys you will have to sort through to get to mr right.