Difference between love and being in love ...

[monkey1]

I was sitting here thinking about what the difference between loving your partner a lot and actually being IN love with your partner.

 

Anyone know what the difference is? I'm curious to hear what people think.

[renaissancewoman101]

I think loving someone is the feeling that you can get for your sibling, your parents or your best friend. YOu care about them deeply, want the best for them, like spending time with them, but there is no "spark". When you are "in love" you have that romantic/sexual "spark".

[jchan]

when you love someone, it's unconditional

when you're in love with someone, it seems as though there is something else in addition to the uncoditional love you may have for someone. Perhaps the rumored "spark"

[brassrat]

I agree with the "spark" concept. To add a complexity: is it really possible, then, to be "in love" with more than one person at a time? Does an affirmative answer then alter the definition of "love" and "in love"?

[Day_Walker]

I feel that "in love" is more of a temporary thing, it is a mixture of newness, excitement and attraction. It is the immature idea of what love is. Love is the more lasting emotion it is less exciting as "in love" because it is more mature.

[jchan]

true though. So that would also mean that the whole concept of the

"spark" is also temporary because that seems to exist in the 3 month honeymoon stage of a relationship. Anything new will become old. Unfortunately most people do not understand this concept, and it's because of such that many relationships break. Love is so much greater than the whole excitement, newness, sexual fling. It is the understanding, the day to day interactions, through high times and low times. People may grow tired of one another, but if they love each other they can still coexist.

[Dako]

I've come to believe there is simply a feeling of attachment called love.

You can love your dog, your spouse, your father. To me it's all the same feeling. Where it differs is if it's new or old, strong or weak, or if sexual attraction is involved as a separate bonus feature.

 

I suppose this sounds wrong to most people. I just wanted to post my opinion.

[Haven]

Love means that you would die for them.

In love means that you would die without them.

 

Well, maybe not that dramatic, but I think you can only be "in love" with one person at a time. You wouldn't die without them really, but you need to be with them? I don't know, I've never been in love, I'm just getting this from books/movies...

[butterflies]

maybe you can love more than one person but can be in love only with one person...i dunno.

[RayKay]

I was sitting here thinking about what the difference between loving your partner a lot and actually being IN love with your partner.

 

Anyone know what the difference is? I'm curious to hear what people think.

 

Hmm, I really think this is something very individual, and their definitions will depend very much on their experiences and their expectations.

 

I think that the two really go hand in hand with one another, it's important to remember too that love is an action, that you make choices to love, and nourish your love. You can also make choices to sabotage, and destroy that love.

 

Anyway, I think that the 'in love' refers to the passionate side of love - it can vary in intensity throughout the relationship, and requires effort from you both to keep that flame. While the most "intense" aspect of this is a result of the initial oxytocins and endorphins in the first year or so, it is possible to keep the passion alive long after, and throughout the relationship.

 

The love part to me refers to that mutual respect, partnership, confidence, healthy communication that you have together. That love is just about caring deeply about their well being, and loving and accepting them for whom they are (ie not wanting to change them..of course if whom they are is unhealthy for you, that's another matter). Love is the strong stuff, the undercurrent or the foundation of the relationship, the passion/in love is the perk or icing on the cake. It took requires attention and care to keep it strong and healthy.

 

I don't think that love should require you sacrificing the love and respect for yourself, and someone whom truly loves you would never ask that of you either.

[VeganBohemian]

Love seems to denote only one individual. "In love with..." seems to denote both partners.