flyingspaghetti Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 Just wondering - if you stumbled accross a friend's sibling's "MySpace" and saw they were were looking into friendships/dating, would you try to communicate with them if they didn't know you personally? Why? Why not? Here's a mini story: Last year I developed a crush on this guy, approached him, but I learned he wasn't into dating. We do maintain an "online only" friendship even if we live in the same city. All this time, I can see he is clearly not into dating or hanging out, so I respect that and will leave it at that. I was then bored the other day and was surfing around for local guys in my city who are into dating. I am looking into dating, but something interesting happened - I came accross one of his older brother's MySpace who is also interested in dating. I like some things in his profile where I would like to get to know him some more and ask him some questions. The thing is that he is my friend's brother. I really don't want my friend to find out about this. I know his brothers' names and one or two facts about them but that's it. My friend doesn't know I found his brother's MySpace. In fact, I don't even think he knows his brother has a MySpace. Sooooo.... what do I do? Should I just send his brother messages to communicate with him and see what happens from there? Then if something more happens, then how would I react once I see my friend? I think it would sound too tacky to say, "Oh, what a coincidence! So-and-so was your brother? Hey, friend!" Would it feel "too weird"? I am more concerned about things developing more or even being friends and hanging out and then "running into" my friend at their family gatherings. I don't know what to say then.... What would you do in this situation? Link to comment
nicorette Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 i dont think itd be too werid. after all, youve never met your friend in person. are you positive that theyre brothers? i think you should go for it. Link to comment
WhatGives Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 The point of myspace is to talk to people you wouldn't normally have an opportunity to talk to. If you find this guy interesting, send him a message! Shoot him a hello and see if you can establish a connection! If you want to avoid weirdness with your friend, just tell him that you messaged his brother because he seems interesting. Your friend's reaction will be a foreshadow of how he would react to you actually dating his brother. Link to comment
flyingspaghetti Posted June 11, 2006 Author Share Posted June 11, 2006 i dont think itd be too werid. after all, youve never met your friend in person. are you positive that theyre brothers? i think you should go for it. I have actually initially met my friend in person. Then we moved into exclusive online communication. There were a couple of indications and photos on his brother's MySpace that fit the piece of the puzzle of things I know they are brothers, so that convinced me. Thanks for your words! I am strongly considering messaging his brother! Link to comment
nicorette Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 oh alright, sorry about that. im a little skatterbrained from the Tylenol 3 i just took. its hard to concentrate haha. but yes, definetly go for it. you dont have to come outright and say it, but say a friendly hello adn see what happens. Link to comment
flyingspaghetti Posted June 11, 2006 Author Share Posted June 11, 2006 The point of myspace is to talk to people you wouldn't normally have an opportunity to talk to. If you find this guy interesting, send him a message! Shoot him a hello and see if you can establish a connection! If you want to avoid weirdness with your friend, just tell him that you messaged his brother because he seems interesting. Your friend's reaction will be a foreshadow of how he would react to you actually dating his brother. Yeah, you're right. I also need to mention that we have been sort of giving each other space, so I am also concerned about that factor with my friend. My friend doesn't want to really hang out or see each other in person because he is a very shy person. Too bad. But, I am hoping that won't make him feel too uncomfortable. Link to comment
Haven Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 I think you're putting too much thought into it. You haven't even talked to the guy yet, and you're already concerned about what will happen at future family gatherings. I agree that you should just go for it and send him a message. If things do work out and start to progress, you should let your friend know to avoid awkwardness (and also because you are his friend, right?) -- just mention to him that you met his brother on myspace or something. Link to comment
flyingspaghetti Posted June 11, 2006 Author Share Posted June 11, 2006 oh alright, sorry about that. im a little skatterbrained from the Tylenol 3 i just took. its hard to concentrate haha. but yes, definetly go for it. you dont have to come outright and say it, but say a friendly hello adn see what happens. Hehe... It's no problem! Yeah, something casual sounds do-able. I think you're putting too much thought into it. You haven't even talked to the guy yet, and you're already concerned about what will happen at future family gatherings. I agree that you should just go for it and send him a message. If things do work out and start to progress, you should let your friend know to avoid awkwardness (and also because you are his friend, right?) -- just mention to him that you met his brother on myspace or something. You are so right about that. I am reacting too much before I have even gone through a situation. I guess I am so in tuned with thinking up of a "perfect way" to send him a message asking about his interests. He has an interesting job, so I would like to not mess this up. I know...there's no such thing as "perfect," but I am hoping to break the ice.... Link to comment
doyathink Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 Well flyingspaghetti (sounds like something ppl do when there in a fight with food around) GO FOR IT Link to comment
Bethany Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 If you don't want your friend to find out about this, then don't do it. What if you get on and brother number 1 find out that you were checking out his family and started dating his brother, or his brother takes you home etc? How are you going to hide that?? Seems like bad start to me and could cause a rift between his brother and him. I wouldn't even go there. It looks that if you weren't still into brother number 1, you wouldn't have been look deeper into his family in the first place. Leave them both alone. There are millions of people out there. Find someone new. Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 how old are you guys? I don't see the harm in sending him a friendly short e-mail like, 'hi - remember me? what's up?' Like a previous poster said, that is the whole reason for myspace. Link to comment
flyingspaghetti Posted June 11, 2006 Author Share Posted June 11, 2006 how old are you guys? He's in his mid-20s, and I am in my late 20s. Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 LOL - just send him an e-mail! no harm in that! Link to comment
flyingspaghetti Posted June 11, 2006 Author Share Posted June 11, 2006 LOL - just send him an e-mail! no harm in that! Hehe... Okay... I am just a little nervous, but yeah, I will send it... Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 just don't expect anything, one way or the other. he may respond, may not, or he may respond and you two will just be penpals. no worries Link to comment
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