Im Bi but my GF straight...?

[What to Do]

yeah, well right now we "arnt" going out. she says she loves me and she wants to be with me, but shes not comfortable with doing things, and i have made it clear that it is fine with me. last week she told me that she never wanted to go out with me again. i told her 2 days ago how badly that hurt me, and she said "i only said it because i was mad" then she told me that she wanted to be with me but she knows if we got back together that she would do it again. 3 days ago she told me that she never wanted to have sex nor kiss another boy...good for me right? i thought maybe she was hinting to me. i ask her what that was all about and she said u asked what i was thinking and i told you...so guessing it wasnt a hint?

 

i told her maybe i should go away, she said its been four months and she hasnt gotten over me. only for her its been for months, at that time we wer going out, she just knew that it wasnt going to work out, or that she DIDNT want it to work out. her mom is this HUGE catholic and would dis-own her if she was in a realtionship with the same sex.

 

i have no idea what to do, im in love with her, and she says shes in love with me and wants to be with me...but then she doesnt. this hurts so much but i still stick around, im never going to give up on her, she knows that too. i told her last night that i was glad we where friends, a few min later she tells me that she hated that i said that. of course i think in my head then just take me back...but i dont think it will happen...i know i cant make her be with me but i have no idea what to do...

[Managor]

I'm not sure why she doesn't want to be with you, except for of course to not upset her mother. If you two love each other you should be able to be together, and if you're afraid of what others, particularly her mother, might think, you can label the two of you as 'really close friends' instead of being a couple. Hope you two can sort things out, you sound lucky to have each other

[What to Do]

yeah she just gets upset everytime i bring it up, i know most of it is because of what other people will think, she goes to an all girls school thers lables ther already lol. i just dont want to push anything on her.

[Managor]

Yeah, well it's good you know why she feels this way, and that you're not trying to push her into anything. No one has to know you two are together, but if she's not comfortable with the idea then there isn't much you can do but be there for her as a close friend.

[What to Do]

yeah i just cant handle being her friend, she even tells me she doesnt know how to act with me because we have always been...idk together, flirty stuff like that, she still acts like we are together and i told her that and she was like" soo whats wrong with that?" i just confused

[ScaredFawn]

Well... Am I missing something here, you are bi, youre a girl... Your gf is STRAIGHT??? Which means she likes guys, only, right???

[What to Do]

yeah but why does she want to be with me then?

if she only liked guys this wouldnt second guess herself she would just move on, and shes not, she tells me everyday she wants to be with me...but the prob is that we arnt

[lady00]

She sounds very confused. She wants to be with you but isn't? That doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Which suggests that she's just really confused about what she wants right now. The thing is, it's hard to be with someone if they are not 100% sure they want you. She says she wants to be with you but then her actions say something different and that's not even all the time! Sounds like a lot of mixed signals. You're probably not going to want to hear this, but I suggest you take a little distance from her and just do your own thing for a while, meet other people etc. Maybe sometime down the line when she's less conflicted about things, you will get together but right now it's not happening. Do things you enjoy that don't involve her...enjoy the single life. If it's meant to be with her, it will happen, but right now it isn't and there isn't anything you can really do or say to change that. She needs to figure that out within herself. But don't just hang around waiting for her. Do your own thing and try to meet new people. Good luck!

[ScaredFawn]

Just my opinion, but I think she might be wanting to be with you because she has been so disappointed with guys that she doesnt want anymore bfs... The way you describe her it sounds to me like she hasnt had much luck with guys. I think you really should forget her...

[Managor]

I think she's just very confused. I wouldn't give up on her if I were you.

[What to Do]

thank you all. im not going to give up on her but i will giver her space. so basically kinda the NC, but not so much?

[nicorette]

on the other hand, i DO think you should give up on her. shes STRAIGHT. maybe shes confused about her sexual orientation. i used to think i could be bi or gay or whatever the hell. for like a month. she probably likes "flirting" with you but thats it. im not tryna sound harsh, and i hope htings work out with you. i jsut dont think you need anything sugarcoated because itll only disappoint you further down. i really do think you should forget about her and find someone new

[Managor]

Why am I the only person taking the optimistic view To me it sounds like she may be straight, bi or gay, but is really confused about it. It can be daunting for a lot of people to accept that they're 'not normal' if they think they're bi or gay..

[Tigris]

I agree Managor, she doesn't know who she is!