thegoodgirl04 Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 Ah well it's the weekend again! And here I am crying over some jerk that dumped me almost 3 months ago! I don't always cry over him anymore, just on Fridays. I still feel an emptiness in my heart, that won't go away for some reason. I wish it would. I have been on some dates, and I don't think I can do it. I wonder if I'll ever be able to give my heart to someone again. Sorry to be pessimistic, I just don't feel anything in my chest anymore, no feelings! Mean while my ex is probably with his ex again, and it kills me. My friends say "who cares at least your giving yourself a chance to heal, if he is with her, she's just a warm body that replaced you" I have a hard time believeing this and letting it go. I wish I could, I just feel so jaded now! I keep active and go out with friends (I'm going to see The Breakup tonight with my roomate, how fitting) but for some reason I still let him have a hold on me. I don't understand why, cause he sure isnt thinking of me! Link to comment
madppiper Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 listen to the song "King of wishful thinking" - helps me Link to comment
friscodj Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 It sounds like you're in a very confused place right now, sort of limbo (or hell...) between the past, present, and future... You speak of a lot of wonderment about the future, and if you'll be able to love again, etc. You seem to be stuck on this guy too... This, my friend, is the perfect opportunity to drop all notions of interest or caring about love, relationships, hopes, dreams, and all that other nice rosey stuff and start living your life for you. Your mind is your worst enemy right now. You need to keep it occupied with other things. Go big. Pick up some hobbies you've always wanted to get into but never did. Something big. Go traveling, start bettering yourself in some way, get out of the house as much as possible. You're already hanging out with friends a bunch, that's good... Link to comment
thegoodgirl04 Posted June 10, 2006 Author Share Posted June 10, 2006 Thanks for your replies, I appreciate it. Believe me I am doing all the stuff I should, I'm working out, getting out, traveling, doing new things and putting myself in new situations, but he's always there, But I guess I let him be there in my head right?! I just want someone to tell me this will go away, I think 3 months would have been long enough???? Link to comment
friscodj Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 Yeah, it's tough being hung up on someone like that. I think you should keep doing what you're doing, accept the fact you're thinking about your ex, let it runs its course just like you would an illness, and let time make all this fade away... Stay strong... Link to comment
searching1951 Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 It depends upon the duration the relationship. Also, it gets better in steps and not gradually. It always seems unbearable just before a step up. A trip away from your familiar surrounds would help a lot. I know it is hard to do much of anything when you are depressed, but why not plan a weekend getaway? A long drive always helps me. Link to comment
thegoodgirl04 Posted June 10, 2006 Author Share Posted June 10, 2006 That's funny you mention it Searching, I am going to West Virginia at the end of June, it's about a 6 hour drive from where I am now, and I can't wait to get away! I just wish I could let it go, I don't know that I'm depressed, I just have to knock my ex off the pedistal that I've put him on. Link to comment
toughtime Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 Hey, I know how you feel. But it gets better.... Most people in this forum came here b/c they were dealing with some REALLy toughtimes (hence my name)! We felt lost, hurt, confused, and just plain old SAD. I wrote a thread a few weeks ago entitled "My heart litterally hurts" and now one week ago I wrote another thread entitled "It gets better, I promise"! It is soo weird how all of the sudden you don't care as much especially with someone with whom you wanted it with so badly. It literally bewilders me and at the same time it saddens me. Sometimes I feel like i SHOULD be sad..but I just dont feel it..and it is the weirdest thing ever! Your journey to becoming yourself will happen if : A. you allow the changes and B. with TIME. Time, my friend is the key to many of our answers but you have to be patient. I dunno about how true this is but they say it takes half the time you were with someone to get over them. My last relationship was 5 months and now we have been broken up for 1 month and i am starting to feel much better. Don't get me wrong...i STILL think about him EVERYDAY! But it is not nearly as bad as it was when we first broke up. Your friends on here are right..keep yourself occupied and learn who YOU ARE. GO OUT on a Friday night with JUST THE GIRLS! Mingle like yer single..coz you ARE! So, I went out last night..had a fabulous time, mingled, and met a bunch of nice people but I know I am not ready to MEET meet someone yet. that all comes with ...you guessed it..TIME! Link to comment
thegoodgirl04 Posted June 10, 2006 Author Share Posted June 10, 2006 Thanks tough, I really appreciate it. It's good to know that it gets better. Weekends are so hard because I just think of all the things we used to do together, now I am doing them by myself. Don't get me wrong I do plenty of things with my friends but not all of them are interested in the same things I am. Anyway, I know it will get better, I just get so tired of thinking of him and what he's doing and so on. We were together 18 months and although he did somethings that were not exactly nice, I still miss him and I often wonder if he misses me at all. I think the reason why I am so hung up is because I feel like there were things I did that I wish I could take back or change, but everything happens for a reason right, we were not meant to be and this just frees me up so I can have some "me" time and meet the right person eventually! Link to comment
toughtime Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 Yup, you summed it up pretty well in that last line! If it is meant to be at some point later it will. (When my first bf and I broke up..I had initiated it. He wanted to get back together really badly but I told him that if it is meant to be then it will happen. I told him to meet other people, to date around..and that I should too...and if those relationships dont work then we can come back to each other and see our status..and if the other person is taken..then it is our lost and our risk that we take..but then we REALLY know.) I know what you mean about forgetting him..you want to just erase it all! I DO! And I know what you mean by the weekends...last night I went to this club that we used to go to all the time..it was kind of weird and i was scared that I would bump into him. But nope..I just had a fabulous time like i said. Danced with some hottie hottie guys! ;-) IT GETS BETTER! lol.. Link to comment
toughtime Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 Btw--love the name of this thread... the hole does ALLL the way to China! Link to comment
thegoodgirl04 Posted June 10, 2006 Author Share Posted June 10, 2006 Thanks tough! The awful thing is that he slept with his ex two weeks after we broke up and it totally eats at me! It's like they were meant to be together, when he told me about it I said well now you guys can be together he said he didn't want to be with her and just used her and didn't care about her feelings the way he cared about mine and would never just use me the way he used her to get over me. Nice guy huh?! The line is from a cindy lauper song that pops into my head from time to time, I think it's from the movie Goonies or something! lol!!! Link to comment
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