Asking alot of question in a relationship = bad?

[Blinking101]

Does asking alot of questions in a relationship bad? My girlfriend sometimes says I ask alot of questions. Like ones like

 

 

-- Do you love me?

-- Do you really?

-- Etc... Etc...

 

 

Is that bad to do? If so how do you stop asking questions. Like I sometimes try to stop but one slips out. Maybe its a nervous habit any idea's?

[renaissancewoman101]

If you ask questions like that, you show that you are insecure. People dont like to see insecurity in others and that is the best way to drive them away. In short, in a relationship, dont ever show that you are insecure and that you need their affirmations. If you do that, you are dooming your relationship because people will find you weak and unchallenging and their interest quotient in you will drop.

[Blinking101]

Ok thank you for that advice. May I ask how do you stop asking questions? What are considered questions?

[xprincessbugx]

dont worry, i have the same problem and it drives my boyfriend crazy! we are arguing over at this point because I ask him all the time. When you think of asking those questions ask them to yourself. Deep down you KNOW the answers.

[renaissancewoman101]

Not all questions are bad, but some of the questions that you pointed out like "do you love me" and other questions like "will I see you again", "what do you think of me", "are you mad at me", etc. are all questions that show your insecurity and worries and that is a big turnoff for people and will cause them to lose interest in you. And once you cause them to start to lose interest in you, you are pretty much writing the death sentence for your relationship, because once that interest starts to wane, it is hard to get it back.

[Blinking101]

dont worry, i have the same problem and it drives my boyfriend crazy! we are arguing over at this point because I ask him all the time. When you think of asking those questions ask them to yourself. Deep down you KNOW the answers.

But it's nice to ask those questions sometimes right? Like just cut down on asking questions like that. And work on having deep confo's with them instead of asking those questions. right? But just don't ask them that much right? It's hard to stop that because I dont consider my self insecure just a curious person I conder my self. I may be wrong.....

[Skippy]

ok.. this my sound stupid but try this....

You have survived without him,

You have done well before him.

So, right now you are looking for conformation of your value to him, = bad

 

TO solve his situation,

breakup with him in your mind. Step away. (this hurts for a day or two)

I mean it. DOnt tell him. Just do it in your mind.

then, go out with him again.

YOu will get a different prespective of the relationship and your value.

but you will still love him.

 

Weird i know. but i have seen it work.

[Blinking101]

ok.. this my sound stupid but try this....

You have survived without him,

You have done well before him.

So, right now you are looking for conformation of your value to him, = bad

 

TO solve his situation,

breakup with him in your mind. Step away. (this hurts for a day or two)

I mean it. DOnt tell him. Just do it in your mind.

then, go out with him again.

YOu will get a different prespective of the relationship and your value.

but you will still love him.

 

Weird i know. but i have seen it work.

So believe in me and my girlfriends relationship,

We have came so far,

Believe in it and it works.

 

Right? So just I should start believing in my girlfriend and I?

[Haven]

It's hard to stop that because I dont consider my self insecure just a curious person I conder my self. I may be wrong.....

Well... you're curious because you want to know the answer. Which implies that you don't already know the answers to the questions that you're asking. If you're asking her things like, "Do you love me?", even if it's out of curiosity, means that you don't know if she loves you, and I think that points to insecurity. I think if you were secure, then you would know or assume that she does love you, since she's in a relationship with you and wants to be with you.

 

So, just remember that she's with you. I assume she's answered the question "Do you love me?" with a "Yes," so you even have confirmation that she DOES love you. Just try to remember all that, and the next time you want to ask her if she loves you, maybe say "I love you" instead of asking a question to get the confirmation that she does.

[Skippy]

no you are not getting the point. you are too much in love with her.

you should step back because when you were single, we didnt need conformation.

Step back

[esboogie143]

This is craaaazy!!! Thats why im sinking in the boat that im in right now!!! DONT ASK QUESTIONS AND FOLLOW WHAT THEY ARE TELLING U!! SHE IS GETTING FURTHER FURTHER AWAY FROM U!!! In my situation he told me I pushed him away!!! So read and learn cuz they are ALLLLLL TELLING THE TRUTH!!!! I am now learning after the fact and it HURTS BAD!!!

[RayKay]

Does asking alot of questions in a relationship bad? My girlfriend sometimes says I ask alot of questions. Like ones like

 

 

-- Do you love me?

-- Do you really?

-- Etc... Etc...

 

 

Is that bad to do? If so how do you stop asking questions. Like I sometimes try to stop but one slips out. Maybe its a nervous habit any idea's?

 

I would go mental if someone kept asking me stuff like that!

 

It highlights insecurity, and "neediness/clinginess" and that is a HUGE turn off.

 

You should not be asking her if she loves you. When you feel like saying it, tell her you do, but not with expectation or need to hear it back. Know you DESERVE to be loved, and should not be begging for it essentially.

[Momene]

I think it's OK to ask these things from time to time, especially if things get difficult but doing it constantly isn't honestly going to help anyone.