What do you think?

[truthbetold]

I have a strange question. Obviously it involves infidelity. Last night my mom was talking to my stepdad about cheating. She was referring to a friend of hers who she thinks may go out and cheat on her husband. She kept saying that A plus B always equals C. A being the couple is mad at one another, or just one person is mad. B is that person decides to go out and drink, and gets hit on, or leans on the wrong shoulder. C they end up cheating. She said most people don't plan on cheating on their partner because they do sincerely love them, BUT if A and B are in place, they will cheat.

 

Personally I don't know how much I agree with this, having never cheated myself, and having never been drunk. About a year ago I found out that my parents cheated on one another with best friends and that was the real reason for their divorce. She even told my stepdad last night that in her situation (referring to cheating on my dad) she did it intentionally. She wouldn't tell me anything else, but she just said that some people cheat and then do become sincerely sorry, and regret it, and never do it again. But some people do it and don't ever regret it.

 

My question is, do you think A and B always equal C? I mean I know alcohol lowers inhibitions, but I do not believe that ALL people would cheat on thier partner just because they are mad and drinking. I dunno, but this whole conversation my mom and stepdad had made me look at my mom in a different light.

[bebecole]

i agree with you.. i think that if you truly love someone you wouldnt cheat on them no matter what your doing or drinking... yes people do make mistakes, and end up feeling extremly guilty about it but some people are just at higher risks of cheating..

i believe if you have self control then you wouldnt cheat.

[kellbell]

Hi there,

 

I too, would look at my mom in a different light she believed those comments.

 

No, I do not agree with your mom. A+B does not ALWAYS equal C in that sense. Human beings are not alegbra equations. Infidelity IMO, works on a case by case basis as far as the why's and how's. Drinking should never be an excuse to cheat. The scenario she set up CAN happen no doubt but I think it can depend a lot of factors.

[Day_Walker]

I believe that cheating involves more than than being mad. I would say that in a lot of instances A + B = C but it doesnt have to. I believe that there is a minority of people out there who dont cheat. It sounds like your mom is justifying her actions to herself almost as if she didnt have control once A and B happen C is an automatic.

[theantibarbie23]

Because your mom herself has cheated, the comment she made really doesn't surprise me. It's extremely common for people that have cheated to try and validate their poor choices and bad behavior in this manner. Of course as we all know there is such a broad spectrum of people with distinct personalities that your mom's equation really doesn't pan out. Affairs are all about boundaries and not everyone is going to cross them just because they are unhappy and drunk.

[RayKay]

I agree with antibarbie's assessment.

 

On the same token, you will often find that people whom are cheating will also accuse their partner of cheating, to justify it, or because they realize how they can do it, so why wouldn't their partner.

 

Things are not always rosey in any relationship, but that does not guarantee, or justify, cheating in any way (sober or drunk). People are still responsible for their choices and actions.