My boyfriends ex asked to spend the night...

[WhatcanIdo]

Here is the situation....I share a house (I own it and rent 2 rooms) with 2 friends. Earlier this summer I asked my boyfriend to move to Atlanta and stay with me. He's been here about a month. He has not made new friends because I have some trust issues of new people. (Crazy I know) Anyway, we're pretty much together all the time and can't seem to get enough of each other, we're in love. He gets along reasonably with my 1 roommate and really likes the other. But is pretty much always with me or my friends....I love it.

 

His 2 best friends live in Alabama and don't get to Atl often. We have extended an invitation for them to come and stay/hangout with us. However, he does have a couple of ex's that live here in Atl metro and stays in touch with them via phone and internet.

 

About a week ago while I was out of town (for fun with my friends - I'm trying my best to be objective) he called to ask if one of the ex's could spend the night (nothing sexual) I said that I wasn't comfortable with, but that I didn't mind them hanging out. This guy lives in Rome, GA about 2 hours away and so with no where to spend the night he couldn't come to town.

 

Sounds simple - well here's the catch - I was dating this guy last year who became really good friends with roommate that everyone likes. So now my ex is frequently around because of his friendship with my roommate. I NEVER invite him over and usually only say hello and go to my room when he is there. I'd still consider us to be friendly toward each other but I don't want to make my current boyfriend uncomfortable. Sometimes we invite our friends out to dinner and once I had to ask my roommate to uninvite my ex (the roommate had invited him - not me) because my boyfriend would not have stayed in the restaurant.

 

Here's the questions.....

My boyfriend says, "What I need is for you to understand how unfair you are to me. You have all your friends and them some but what do I have!" send via text message this morning.

 

What can I Do?

 

Sorry its soooo long - you can hit me up at polo70123 on yahoo if you want

[Deviant_Kate]

If you've made a point to spare him from hanging out with your ex, maybe you should *calmly* point that out to him and explain that it would make you uncomfortable to spend the night in the same house as a person who once had sex with the man you love. I skipped a wedding because my girlfriend's ex-boyfriend was going to be there, and I want nothing to do with anyone whose had sex with her. It makes me uncomfortable and jealous. She understands that, and I hope your boyfriend will too. Good luck!

[WhatcanIdo]

But do you mind if she still has interactions with the people she used to have sex with?

[Skippy]

I would agree with Deviate Kate.

 

But do you mind if she still has interactions with the people she used to have sex with?

That is for yourself to answer.

[xprincessbugx]

It'd make me uncomfortable so I understand where you are coming from. I think you are suffocating him though becasue he doesnt have any friends! You should let him go out and have fun too.

[Deviant_Kate]

But do you mind if she still has interactions with the people she used to have sex with?

 

She dislikes both of the people she used to have sex with, so it's hard to answer that question since I've never been faced with that situation. I think in the early stages of our relationship, it would have made me uncomfortable, but this far into the game, I have no worries. Either way, I don't think I would have tried to stop her from hanging out with them - just from spending the night with them