Let's hear some post break-up stories...

[navigator2001]

Hello,

 

I have finally started to come to terms with the fact that the "break" I was in is actually a breakup. Now my mind is wandering and I can't help but keep having thoughts like:

 

- Where can I possibly find someone else like her? She's super attractive, smart, funny, and we got along so well.

 

- I've messed up the only good thing that's happened to me.

 

- If I had been a better boyfriend, it wouldn't have come to this.

 

- What if she's already with someone else, I won't be able to handle that.

 

 

I'm only 23, and am starting grad school in about 2 months, so I know I'm being overly dramatic by thinking that I won't find anyone else, and I'm sure I'll meet many girls in the coming years. But it's tough to think otherwise. I'd been in a relationship for 3 years, I don't even know how to approach a girl anymore. And I'm worried that anyone I meet, I will constantly be comparing her to my ex, and they will NEVER measure up.

 

I'd like to hear some "breakup success stories", from people who were dumped after a significant period (i.e. 3 years) and are now completely over it, and have found someone else who is 100x better than the ex. Let's keep out the stories where you get back with your ex, because as much as I like hearing those right now, that kind of hope is dangerous to have.

 

 

Let the postings begin!!

[in_the_mirror]

I had been with my boyfriend pretty much all of highschool until my senior year....he had been my everything because he made sure he was. i didn't believe i could do any better, i was either with him or by myself...

 

well it was definitely not true, i'm with my new b/f now and he is a million times better than my ex and we have been together for nine months all of my senior year...we have been throuh a lot over this time, but it's the kind of stuff that older people than myself should only have to deal with.

 

i look back at the time i spent with my ex and just realized everything i had missed, high school should be full of new experiences and happy memories, and with him i realized yea we had a good time sometimes....but compared to what i have now it was nothing

[nicorette]

me and my boyfriend of almost 2 years broke up for about a month. we got back together 3 weeks ago. however, during the time i thought the same way as you "i could never find anyone like him" and whatnot. thats not true. before my boyfriend right now of 2 years, i was 14 and i dated this one guy for just under a year. it was a LDR relationship. i was so crusehd when he didnt want to be with me anymore i dindt think i could find any better i was so devastated. about 6 months later i found the guy im with now and i seroiusly couldnt be any happier. and im sure this guy and me wont last forever, as were only 18, and im sure ill find a guy later on that will make me even happier. youre young, 23, and have so much ahead of you. there will be so many great girls out there that you wont know what to do. a LOT of women are not all the cheating, lying people you hear about.

[navigator2001]

haha, maybe a forum for breakups isnt the best place to ask about stories about getting over a breakup.

 

Anyone got anything else??

[GottaLetItBurn]

Some of the above posts make me think more about how I just need to move on. This girl completely ditched me for her ex, and now it is the end of her senor year. All I can think about is how she just stopped talking to me when we were bestfriends all my senor year. Also all the experiences she had with him her last year, and she doesn't even know what she did to me crushed me. She just started calling me a lot like I want to be friends with her. Can you imagine how that feels?

 

I have not called her once since the summer, everytime it is her calling me or texting me. Then she has the nerve to ask why don't I call her anymore. I was completely thinking that I can't find a better girl then her. Now I know I got mixed up with a girl with a lot of problems. Yeah we get along, but she showed me the type of person she is.

 

Leaving me high and dry, abandoning me. I just feel like I'm in one big rush to find the next right girl. Man, I guess I just need a lot more time to get over her, then maybe I can be myself again. I just hate how she calls me like I want to be friends. It can never be the same, from kissing, to just having months chats.

 

The girls that wrote those posts above, very lucky to find someone better so fast. It's torture to be crushed by someone you make your whole world..I was sooo stupid, still am for even texting back when she texts me.

[navigator2001]

I know how you feel. I was with my girlfriend for 3 years, and she ended it like it was nothing to her. Didn't talk to me about it first or anything, just asked for a break (which I found out yesterday really was an easy way to get a breakup).

 

Even when I was with her, I was surprised at what a wonderful, attractive, smart, funny girl she was, and how LUCKY I was to have her. And now that she's left, I have that sudden feeling of emptiness and its almost been 2 months for me since then. I desperately need to move on, however from my experiences, the easiest way to get over someone is to fall for someone else. I'm just not sure if I can find anyone who will measure up to her.

 

That's why I need to hear some uplifting stories out there, not just of people finding someone after they were dumped, but stories where people found someone BETTER than their Ex. Now that would be very valuable to me in my current state.

[joyce1412]

this wasn't exactly a "relationship," but i spent four years pining after one of my best friends. we liked each other on and off, even though he was very moody and kind of mean to me much of the time...we were both very immature. eventually we fell in love with each other. we hooked up and i thought our relationship was just going to take off--except that he had a girlfriend at the time. he told his girlfriend about the hookup and completely cut me off without even telling me why, just completely stopped speaking to me, changed his email address, refused any of my attempts to contact him. it was painful enough to be receiving this kind of treatment from someone i considered an extremely close friend, but it was even worse that i was totally in love with him.

 

eight months after that disaster i met my most recent boyfriend, now unfortunately my ex. i fell head over heels in love with him, and i still love him. it was a much healthier, loving, and full relationship than any kind of relationship i would have had with my friend. when my friend called me up a couple months after i got together with this guy, i happily told him to f off, because i'd finally found someone who treated me wonderfully and lovingly.

 

it's now more than 2 years after that intial "disaster" and i am now friends with the guy again. as a matter of fact, the first time we hung out (about two weeks ago!), we had such a good time he couldn't resist kissing me. while i still feel that we have a great connection--i have never stopped believing that i've never met a person more like me--i don't have the same romantic feelings. even after a rather bitter breakup with my ex, i still know that my feelings are/were stronger for my ex than they ever will be for my friend.

 

so, i guess that story might help because it tells you that even though you may always feel connected to this person (if you remain in contact), she isn't the "be-all end-all" of women, and the connection you had/have doesn't mean you'll always be in love with her. even if you feel really close to this girl, think she's amazing, et cetera, your opinions about what "amazing" means will probably come to change, and the next woman you have a relationship with may blow you away in ways you can't even imagine right now. i know the latter was the case when i got to know my ex...he possessed qualities i didn't even know i always wanted.

 

unfortunately my story with my ex did not have a "happy ending" (unless, of course, we were to get back together--my hope), but i do think it shows that you'll probably bounce back with someone new and be in even better shape than you can imagine, and love someone even more than you think you can love.

[daregveda]

A few thoughts in response to your own...

 

- There's every chance in the world that if you find someone exactly like her, things will turn out exactly the same way. Open your mind to the possibility that someone different can make you even happier. I know this to be a fact.

 

- Don't take all the responsibility for your failed relationship, it was a two-way street. If it can't be worked out, it's because of her failure as much as your own.

 

- Again, don't be so hard on yourself...we can do all the right things and still lose what matters most to us.

 

- That will be the hardest part of all this...not going to lie about that. But the knowledge that there's someone else in her life will probably give you all the closure you need to get over her once and for all.

 

It's been four months now since she left, and I'm happy again. I've met someone else, someone DIFFERENT from her, and every day I spend with her (which is EVERY day) is making me miss her less and less. When we get dumped, we tend to long for the good in our failed relationship, while forgetting about the bad. In my case, she was * * * * *y, moody, judgemental and a little boring. The new girl is a little younger, a little prettier and a hell of a lot more fun. This may turn into something real, it may not..but the fact remains that not only do I not miss her anymore, I no longer even desire to be with her. She has called me twice in less than a week, trying to get me to go out with her and our daughters, but I've passed up these opportunities that I would've pounced on just a short time ago.

[navigator2001]

Thanks, what do people out there think about starting to have a crush on someone else as the best way to get over an EX. I don't want to get in a rebound relationship, but at the same time, I'm dying to get over this girl. I really need to meet someone else soon.

[Russo]

If you're dying to meet someone, rebound or not, what are you doing here then?

 

Get out there!

[FelixXavier]

Good sir. Such comments as "there are other fish in the sea," and so forth mean nothing to you. I know! I'm in that position myself.

 

Some say the best way to get over a girl is to start dating another one. Alas, you can't give that relationship your full heave-ho unless you are truly over the ex. Again, a position I've been in.

 

It takes time, it takes effort. BUT! You can actually find someone better than previous.

 

And, to be true, it might not even be about 'better.'

 

I was with a girl for about 4 years, from age 17 to age 21. We were in love, we fell out of love, we shared so many firsts with each other. And when it was finally over and she moved on to someone else, sure I was devastated! And, lo-and-behold, in that time frame, I've dated a bunch of girls, had a blast, and about 7 months ago, found someone who really REALLY competed with the ex. It's not even about 'better.' It's all about different.

 

My ex, I met in high school, went to college with her, we were from the same damn suburb, had the same aspirations, so on and so forth.

 

The girl I was just recently dating and honestly thought I could spend the rest of life with? She's 5 years older than me, from South America, has a kid, and does all sorts of things my ex would never do!

 

Life's an amazing journey, man. Enjoy it. Ups AND downs. Can't appreciate the ups without the downs.